3D Art / Nerd Jokes

pangarang · Jul 2009

I was having friendly debate with a friend awhile back, childish immature stuff but we were both kidding at the end of the day. And thinking back to the insults we threw back and forth, I was slightly amused. Hopefully you guys can add to this list of funny but geeky 3D jokes ...

1) Your mom's so fat, her UVs can't fit in a 0-1 space
2) Your mom's so fat, her edge loops can't reach all the way around
3) Your mom's so fat, she used up all the weight paint.

All I can remember for now. Wondering if anyone's heard anything else =D

Taylor Hood · Jul 2009

Loved them all, haha. I'm trying to think of one but no luck. Lol.

JacqueChoi · Jul 2009

All I know, is when anyone asked anything about doing multiple texture passes

aka "A Multi Pass".

The next line EVERYONE around there would say is 'Corbin Dallas Moolti-Pahss'.

Muzzoid · Jul 2009

Lols nice.

There was a horrible horrible art pun thread over at conceptart, many lols were had.

"i need Monet, to buy DeGas to make my Van Gogh. i tried to Hale a cab but my Whistler didnt Turner 'round."

lol

Pope Adam · Jul 2009

lol muzz gay

Pedro Amorim · Jul 2009

yo momma so fat, she cant model to save her life, cause her fingers are so fat, that she cant move vertices, cause shepresses the left and right button at once, cause she has fat fingers.. in fact, i think its not very healthy for your mom to be that fat, she should go to a doctor or some shit, it could be some glands or some shit. i dunno, just saying.. and btw, why does yo' momma want to model? wasn't she a social worker? she must be a squizo..

i can entertain myself for a very long time

rooster · Jul 2009

your mum's so fat, she snapped her IK constraints!

SHEPEIRO · Jul 2009

your mum so fat she need tiling textures

EmAr · Jul 2009

Your mum's so fat, she needs infinite amount of detail because of the screen space she occupies.

rooster · Jul 2009

your mum's so fat, you need an fov of 170 just to fit her face in the viewport

whats_true · Jul 2009

Your momas so fat, you need to wacoms to draw her.

You momas so fat, photoshop runs out of ink when you draw her.

foreverendering · Jul 2009

yo momma so dumb she thought zoom, rotate, pan involved kitchenware
yo momma so dumb she thought 3d studio max was a type of apple computer
yo momma so ugly she gave my computer the blue screen of death
yo momma so dumb she thought '3d' was a bad report card.
yo momma so fat that when modeling her in 3d I created a sphere and said, "all done!"
yo momma so dumb she thought photoshop was an actual place.
yo momma so dumb she thought vertices only went up and down
yo momma so ugly when I modeled her face in 3d, there was no point using symmetry.

SHEPEIRO · Jul 2009

i aint got enough ram to model your mum

Sayanora · Jul 2009

I'd like to soft select bitmap's mum

Taylor Hood · Jul 2009

Your mum's so fat that she needs twice the size of texture space to texture
Your mum's so fat that when imported into Max all the viewports turn white (or black XD)
Your mum's so dense that she makes Max lag.

I failed. Lol.

whats_true · Jul 2009

Your moms so ugly, not even VRay can save her.

MoP · Jul 2009

lol, excellent

Muzzoid · Jul 2009

Yo momas so dirty her texture maps can bake themselves.

Rory_M · Jul 2009

whats_true wrote: »

Your moms so ugly, not even VRay can save her.

oh snap!

brandoom · Jul 2009

Your mothers so fat I couldn't scale a sphere big enough.
Your mothers so fat the view port clipping planes couldn't be set high enough.
Your mothers so fat I tried to bake her normals and she ate them instead.

whats_true · Jul 2009

These are great haha. Of course, no one else will get any of this.

Your moms so ugly, not even Turbosmooth with 20 iterations will fix her.
Your moms so ugly, she makes Maxs script look like Angelina Jolee

Your mothers so fat I tried to bake her normals and she ate them instead.

hahahhaha

Muzzoid · Jul 2009

thats kinda the whole point of in jokes :P.

SHEPEIRO · Jul 2009

your mommas so ugly it looks like her vertex order got spannered

Vrav · Jul 2009

So fat, not even John Carmack can get her to run in realtime.

brandoom · Jul 2009

Vrav wrote: »

So fat, not even John Carmack can get her to run in realtime.

What about Tim Sweeny?

Tumerboy · Jul 2009

Your mom's so fat she's got high blood pressure!

. . . wait, am I doing this right?

Nate Broach · Jul 2009

Your momma's so fat she broke through the collision geo.

SHEPEIRO · Jul 2009

your mommas so ugly her skin looks like dxt1 normal map compression

adam · Jul 2009

I'd Turbosmooth your mother but I'm afraid she's already 16,000,000 triangles

Your momma's so fat not even Team Ico would use her in their game.

SHEPEIRO · Jul 2009

your momma lets me turbosmooth her anytime

adam · Jul 2009

Your mother's so ugly I had to put a Bend modifier on my dick just to get it up.

EmAr · Jul 2009

Your mom's so fat I can take reference pictures of her using Google Earth.

SHEPEIRO · Jul 2009

yr mommas so fat he only appears in the last stages of beautifull karamari

shes so ugly she looks like my first normal bake

shes so fayt i had to outsource her body

EmAr · Jul 2009

Your mom's so fat they used her model as a placeholder for the Jabba model in the last released Star Wars game, they forgot to replace it and nobody noticed.

foreverendering · Jul 2009

yo momma so fat I couldn't create a rig to support her

yo momma so fat she had a jiggle deformer by default

yo momma so ugly her pivot ran away and never came back

rooster · Jul 2009

yo momma's so dumb she thought mudbox was an std

Zwebbie · Jul 2009

Yo momma keeps flipping my normals when I'm not looking

.

Yo momma is so fat, she needs a megatexture all for herself.
Yo momma is so fat, even her UVs have depth.
Yo momma sat on a polygon once. They're flat ever since.
Yo momma is so dense, even her wireframe fills up every pixel on the screen.
Yo momma is so dumb, she's the one who came up with the ViewCube.
Yo momma is so fat, when she does a turnaround, she's mistaken for a planet.
Yo momma is so ugly, all the normals flip away from her in disgust.
Yo momma is so big, even Polycount's Search function could find her.
Yo momma is so fat, the lasso tool won't fit around a picture of her.
Yo momma is so fat, her vertex weights exceed 1.

Jay Evans · Jul 2009

shes not a tranny, her normals are just inverted.

adam · Jul 2009

LoJack · Jul 2009

yo momma so fat she gives max gravity

yo momma so fat she used up all the Mud in the Box

yo momma so ugly not even nurgle wants her (lol kinda off topic)

yo momma so fat her t-page is so big 3D Realms has been texturing her since 1997

...lol

Snowfly · Jul 2009

Yo momma so ugly her 3D model won unearthly challenge
Yo momma so fat the animator was done with her and it still looked like the t-pose
Yo momma so fat her top row image on cg talk is a banner ad
Yo momma so fat her first Apple computer was a big mac
The colossus play Shadow of Yo Momma
Yo momma so fat people thought her turntable animation was a jpeg

Lamont · Jul 2009

Your mom's so fat she thought "buffer overflow" was a place to eat.
Your mom's so fat, she thought "History Stacks" were pancakes.

I try.

LoJack · Jul 2009

yo momma so fat she don't fit in Mario's Galaxy

Snowfly · Jul 2009

foreverendering wrote: »

yo momma so fat she had a jiggle deformer by default

lol i guess the jiggle map was all white

the highest reading on the richter scale is yo momma playing wii fit
yo momma so fat her skin overlay is apple sauce
yo momma so fat the kids mistook her 3d print for a bowl of jello

IEatApples · Jul 2009

Zwebbie wrote: »

Y
Yo momma is so dumb, she's the one who came up with the ViewCube.

Maybe a slight dig at autodesk

Frump · Jul 2009

Yo momma so ugly, I outsourced her model to a beginner, so the look would be authentic.

Yo momma so fat, the lazy mouse is athletic by comparison.

Can't think of any more. Awesome thread.