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Relationship issues caused by 3d?

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  • skankerzero
    It's good you finally learned to just do what you're told and live the life someone else wants you to live.
  • Torch
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    Torch polycounter
    It's good you finally learned to just do what you're told and live the life someone else wants you to live.

    Nice.
  • WarrenM
    It's easy to throw out "Leave her and follow your dreams!" on the internet because you don't have to live with the fallout.
  • Obscura
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    Obscura grand marshal polycounter
    What I will do is to work in the factory for a few months, so during that, I won't have to listen the bullshit every single week. I will try to save money, and I'm planning to relocate alone. This was a great lesson...
  • Blond
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    Blond polycounter lvl 9
    Reaaly sorry about your situations..Which makes me think, I should really build a solid portfolio while I'm still at my mom's....

    I've taken a look at yours and really, your pieces are great.

    Not sure bt I think you could work in a small indie or mobile studios (gameloft,etc.)
  • Torch
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    Torch polycounter
    Obscura - Props to you mate, sounds like you really want to make this work for yourself. Keep us updated on the progress as it'd be great to see how things develop!
  • Obscura
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    Obscura grand marshal polycounter
    I should really build a solid portfolio while I'm still at my mom's
    Yeah I would recommend doing this :D

    Actually I applied to Gameloft Hungary a few times, but they always said there is no open position at the moment. I worked with small indie studios before this relationship. But gf convinved me about that it will be good if we shack up. So I relocated from budapest, hoping that the freelancing will work, but it didn't. So I've fallen to between the two chairs. No 3d job, no good relationship now.

    Torch - I sense irony in your words, but let me know if I see wrong.
  • beefaroni
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    beefaroni sublime tool
    Hey, just wanted to stop by and say good luck. I've been following this thread for a bit and it's good to hear that you have a concrete plan (although unfortunate that you have to stop freelancing). Hopefully you can get some art in during the weekends!!
  • Torch
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    Torch polycounter
    Obscura wrote: »
    Torch - I sense irony in your words, but let me know if I see wrong.

    No, that was sincere - let us know how it goes :)
  • PixelMasher
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    PixelMasher veteran polycounter
    brute. personally I wouldn't ever put a partner/woman in my life above my life goals/path/purpose if its not an interdependent relationship. Going to work at a factory to make someone else happy when it will probably end up making you miserable doesnt seem like a good life choice. To each their own! I think i said this before but a lot of men stay in toxic relationships simple because of fear/scarcity they view towards women, afraid of letting "the one" go and worrying they will never meet anyone as awesome or good. every girl I've had in my life, the next one was more in line with what I was looking for and better for me. Not to mention, the times I have been most motivated to scuceed at my goals and focused on what I was doing was when I was single and pimping it hard in all aspects of lifestyle. you tend to gain massive momentum when you can powerhouse on tasks without being held accountable to others. if you are in your 20's I would say don't get locked down at all, and beast it on your path to success.
  • katana
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    katana polycounter lvl 14
    Good luck. In the end your decision will make you happier and healthier....once you get a handle on your own dreams you can think of finding someone to share it with.

    Be well.
  • PixelMasher
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    PixelMasher veteran polycounter
    relocate to Montreal! booming games industry here and there are tons of lovely wild french girls. you will literally snap your neck some days just walking down the street ;)
  • deohboeh
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    deohboeh polycounter lvl 5
    A man with a plan! Great! But keep practicing. Best of luck! :)
  • Spoon
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    Spoon polycounter lvl 11
    relocate to Montreal! booming games industry here and there are tons of lovely wild french girls. you will literally snap your neck some days just walking down the street ;)

    I would prefer not to snap my neck :D

    I actually thought supply was higher than demand in montreal atm. Im talking game studios, not girls, btw :P
  • Beinahruga
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    Beinahruga polycounter lvl 3
    This has been a huge balancing act for me for many years. I think it was Neil Gaiman who either said or shared a quote that a relationship with an artist is always an open relationship where their art is always the other partner, one that sleeps in the same bed and takes away their attention and love for periods of time, and you just have to try and coexist with it or move on and find someone who can reciprocate instead.
  • skankerzero
    Kaarna wrote: »
    This has been a huge balancing act for me for many years. I think it was Neil Gaiman who either said or shared a quote that a relationship with an artist is always an open relationship where their art is always the other partner, one that sleeps in the same bed and takes away their attention and love for periods of time, and you just have to try and coexist with it or move on and find someone who can reciprocate instead.

    One option is to have a relationship with another equally obsessed artist who has the same amount of need for support and intimacy as you, whether that's little or a lot, so you both get your time to spend on art and also the affection and support of a relationship. It helps that in that situation both understand the realities of the work. My biggest problems living together with a non-career-artist came from differing expectations of work-life balance and the other person feeling neglected.

    But I'm also starting to plainly come to the terms that working as an artist consumes your whole life and there's inevitably less room for another person in it, no matter how much you love them, the love for the work will always be bigger.
    I like and agree with everything you said. That first paragraph is awesome.
  • beefaroni
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    beefaroni sublime tool
    ^ Same here. Puts into words what I've felt.

    It feels really great when you find that person, either an artist or someone who can respect the need to work a lot.
  • Lilith
    I know a lot of happy couples, some of them are both artists, some of them have no ties to game development at all, but all of them have great respect for passions of their spouse. It doesn`t have to be the same thing really, but there are two kind of people - the ones who have a dream/passion/goal, and those who don`t really have need for it and live just fine, though I always felt sad for them `cause I can`t imagine how boring their life must be :)
    I see no point in buiding relationship with someone who can`t really understand that passion of yours, `cause in any scenario one of you will be unhappy, and you can`t have happy relationship when either of you is miserble.
    So I would recomend you relax and try to make make your life into the life you want it to be.
    But then again, I`m probaply not the best person to give advise. Almost 30 and all of my family thinks that I work too much, that I`m addicted to my job(wich I am and proud of it:)), and that I`m getting really old and soon no man will look at me and I will die alone, crazy old lady with 10 cats)))
    Still, I really love my life the way it is, `cause every day I do something that I love. When I was teenager I played Heroes of Might & Magic 5 and I was surprised and proud that the team behind it was from Russia, and I couldn`t even think that I will work with these people someday, it seemed like some crazy dream, and it never was my goal. But now, years later, I work with these people as environment lead and it makes me happy to think about it. Wouldn`t change a thing.

    Best of luck to you, man!
  • iconoplast
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    iconoplast polycounter lvl 13
    Lilith wrote: »
    crazy old lady with 10 cats
    There is nothing wrong with this. I happen to love crazy cat ladies!

    Obscura, I hope things are looking up for you.
  • WarrenM
    and those who don`t really have need for it and live just fine, though I always felt sad for them `cause I can`t imagine how boring their life must be
    Their lives aren't boring to them. It's kind of judgmental of you to think otherwise...
  • Obscura
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    Obscura grand marshal polycounter
    Update time.....
    Im working in the factory for 8 days now. Its obvious that I don't have too much free time now, especially because I work in the morning during a week, and on the next week I work in the afternoon, and then in the night.

    So...The very little free time driven to where its even harder to share the remained time, and gf and 3d got less. Now gf comes with that I barely give time to her.

    Not a big surprise in my opinion. I had more time for she and 3d when I was freelancing.

    This whole thing drove to an argument again, and she said, then she don't want to continue the relationship. I asked that what would be if I would go to a school and I would have to learn a lot every day (because Its almost the same thing, I just learn 3d on my pc and not anything from books). She said then she also wouldn't like to continue. This verificated my thought, that, she is absolutely not interested about how I feel, what is important to me, and that I want to get better and I want to get a job in the industry.

    ...

    So the result of this whole thing is that I have to relocate back to my mother as soon as possible.

    Sorry if the post is muddy, just this thing is quite new and I'm a bit upset.
  • skankerzero
    best of luck man.

    Trust me, finding that person that believes in you will be night and day compared to this 'relationship'.

    I say 'relationship' because you were not in a real relationship. You were part of her 'plan'. Once you didn't fit her plan, she was no longer happy and wanted to change you to fit her plan again.

    A real relationship has give and take. Life is organic and things change. Everyone deserves to find a partner in life that is able to go along with those changes.

    Make yourself happy with your career first, then entertain looking for someone again.
  • rino
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    rino polycounter lvl 12
    Make yourself happy with your career first, then entertain looking for someone again.

    +1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
  • Obscura
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    Obscura grand marshal polycounter
    Thanks! Yeah, as I wrote in an earlier post, this was a good lesson to me. Also now I know what is more important to me, and I'll never trust in anyone's "love" who can't support/understand my goals, or at least understand the importance of it. Hopefully things will go better now, when I'm not prevented. Saying perevented can look rough I know but actually it was that.
  • Obscura
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    Obscura grand marshal polycounter
    OMG I can't fucking believe this. Years has been thrown out on the window...This girl deleted every important things from my computer........by important I mean my works......
  • stevston89
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    stevston89 interpolator
    Obscura wrote: »
    OMG I can't fucking believe this. Years has been thrown out on the window...This girl deleted every important things from my computer........by important I mean my works......

    WTF. That's really not ok. You didn't have any back ups?
  • Obscura
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    Obscura grand marshal polycounter
    Nope...Because I never thought that this will ever happen. Self owned...
  • stevston89
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    stevston89 interpolator
    Ugh Sorry to hear man... For future I would recommend having back ups. It's always a good idea never know what might happen. I keep backups mostly to guard against hard drive failure.

    Really malicious thing to do though. Real sorry to hear.
  • LRoy
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    LRoy polycounter lvl 14
    She broke up with you and deleted everything off your computer?
  • Shiniku
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    Shiniku polycounter lvl 14
    Jeez that sucks dude. Another sign that she probably wasn't 'the one'. I don't know who would even be so spiteful to do something like that.

    Oh well, you can build anew, and make better work. Try to see this fresh start as a good thing potentially.
  • Muzzoid
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    Muzzoid polycounter lvl 10
    Welp.... there is no going back now. She my friend has crossed into crazy ex territory in record time.
  • StephenVyas
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    StephenVyas polycounter lvl 18
    There has to be some way to recover the data...
    Wish I was a computer wiz to help, but I'm sure someone here might be able to offer some advice
  • ExcessiveZero
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    ExcessiveZero polycounter lvl 12
    you could probably gather evidence and start a civil dispute against her, the malicious attack against your property has left you in a position where you may have a loss of earnings.

    Furthermore I would look into file recovery software, a lot is surprisingly possible.
  • Xoliul
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    Xoliul polycounter lvl 14
    She's probably quite a noob at that stuff, so unless you start writing anything to your HD< you could undelete it with something like Dirsnoop or whatever else undelete program there is.

    Btw, this is really fucked up man, get away from her as fast and as far as possible!
  • stevston89
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    stevston89 interpolator
    you could probably gather evidence and start a civil dispute against her, the malicious attack against your property has left you in a position where you may have a loss of earnings.

    Furthermore I would look into file recovery software, a lot is surprisingly possible.

    Being a dick in return is not going to get your files back or make you feel better. I would just try to move on being a dick about it will only make the situation worse.
  • haiddasalami
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    haiddasalami polycounter lvl 14
    I've used Recuva to get back files when my parents accidentally deleted stuff. On the other hand this shit sounds messed up.
  • Noren
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    Noren polycounter lvl 19
    Just get your stuff out there as quickly as possible, especially the PC if you haven't already. Take someone with you as witness/protection.
    Like was pointed out, there are good chances you can recover most of the data if she wasn't thorough.
    Just keep in mind to recover to a fresh drive and don't write on the deleted one.
    If you can, hook it up to a different machine.
  • Neox
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    Neox godlike master sticky
    and back up your stuff man :O

    i still have 7 years of freelance pretty much all backed on several machines
  • Canadian Ink
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    Canadian Ink polycounter lvl 12
    I was in a situation where I was dating a girl and even if I had a games job that paid as well as a Doctor, it still wouldn't have been enough for her. So I dumped her and then met my future wife. She is also an artist and so we really understand that journey that we are on professionally and the how often times sacrifices will need to be made.

    If it is already like this with your girl after a year, then I cant imagine what she will be like in 2 years, 5 years - 10 years.

    Work/life balance is super important, but it doesn't sound that is the real issue in all of this.
  • Obscura
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    Obscura grand marshal polycounter
    Thank you guys very much for the tips, but recovering them is probably not possible. I'm at my mother now, and I left my computer at ex gf, because I couldn't bring it that time, and I can't until july 10. So maybe I could recover after that, but now I'm not sure about even my computer will be there then. Actually I wouldn't be surprised if it would be sold or formated. Also, even talking with exgf now is not really possible because she turned to be crazy and she talk back with attacking.
  • Neox
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    Neox godlike master sticky
    just call the police, she has your stuff, you should have the right to pick it up.
  • stevston89
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    stevston89 interpolator
    Uhhh what a mess. Yeah if you have no other options go to the police. Also don't wait get your shit now. Find a way. Do whatever you can. Don't just let it sit.
  • ivanzu
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    ivanzu polycounter lvl 10
  • Alphavader
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    Alphavader polycounter lvl 11
    See what you can do, but i would suggest to work on alternatives.

    1.Whats really importaint to rescue ?
    2.Changes all your Passwords !
    3.What can you do now ? What do you need? Who can help you (relatives) ?
    4. Make a Plan to see what police can do, but also what YOU
    can do for your self.
    5. Move on - sounds stupid but you waste time
  • Xoliul
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    Xoliul polycounter lvl 14
    Uh yeah wth man, she's gone this far so you have the right to at least get your stuff back...
  • Obscura
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    Obscura grand marshal polycounter
    Well. The computer itself is not a big problem to me, because I could buy a new one, the problem is my stuff is missing from it now. I knew that they has been deleted from that I signed in into my dropbox account from here, and there was nothing. The another problem is that I don't have papers from that computer is mine because its an old pc and its papers lost probably years ago. So then I think the police couldn't do anything. On the other hand, the police here usually say don't disturb them with relationship problems, try to find a solution, and they come only if theres blood flows. Thanks for the help by the way, but actually I was the stupid because I didn't made any saves from my stuff anywhere else.
  • Xoliul
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    Xoliul polycounter lvl 14
    Dude you know Dropbox has undelete/backup for 30 days, right ?
  • Obscura
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    Obscura grand marshal polycounter
    Wow. Thanks, this helps, because this saves some model files and some of my older works, but unfortunately the UDK files were stored just on my pc. Thanks again!
  • Xoliul
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    Xoliul polycounter lvl 14
    No problem! It's the reason my current project is always stored in my dropbox folder. Best and easiest backup solution there is.
  • skankerzero
    If you get your PC back, use WinUndelete. It works wonders as long as she didn't format the machine or use a professional deletion program.

    I told ya man. She was wrong from the very first page of this thread.
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