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I'm not sure how relevant this shitpost will be, but I just have to speak up.

I've been doing 3d for three years now.(im 23yo) Thought it was my dream and the whole activity suits me pretty darn well, couse i love games and weapons and i love the whole process of making 3d. I have a pretty decent weapons portfolio that I've been working hard on. Yes, I realize that this portfolio is not top tier and that many people have much better pieces and for less time, but anyway. I can't find a job for about a year now, all jobs require experience, and the test tasks imply this very experience. But one of the main problems that many studios that gave you test tasks don't give you feedback after rejection, and you don't even realize what your mistake was. I applied to a lot of studios. Some of them told me right away that I had a good portfolio, but they needed experienced guys, some of them already had me on the short list, but again, there was a guy with experience who took my place. I don't understand what I should do, how much longer I have to knock on doors and get another rejection. Am I a loser or am I just unlucky? I have completely lost the motivation to create anything, and now doing it through the pain and remnants of discipline I have left in me.

I mean i know that im still probably young and everything, but i cant let myself spent more time for nothing

I apologize for the unnecessary venting and whining, I just don't have the energy anymore.
Here is some of my works if you are interested!