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disgusting coworkers

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polycounter lvl 18
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Justin Meisse polycounter lvl 18
I go into the bathroom at work today to find diarrhea not only sprayed all over the toilet seat but up the wall to the height of about 3 feet as well!

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  • oXYnary
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    oXYnary polycounter lvl 18
    where is this wonderful place?
  • man_o_mule
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    man_o_mule polycounter lvl 18
    that wasn't a coworker at all.

    ATTACK OF THE 3 FOOT MIDGET ANUS FROM OUTER SPACE!!!!!
  • Eric Chadwick
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    We got someone here who wipes backwards or something, because there's always some poop smeared on the back rim of the seat. You think they'd notice this, but nope.

    Wow Justin, that one sounds like a goatse disaster.
  • swampbug
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    swampbug polycounter lvl 18
    At Volition.. some wise guy keeps taking one poptart from the wrapper leaving one behind.

    Just take both! Instead the swindler leaves an unsanitary poptart for some fool to eat, Oh I swear!... well have fun with your one poptart!.. They day i find you I'll make you eat 2 poptarts and like it !
  • Zatoichi
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    Zatoichi polycounter lvl 18
    I think the worst bathroom was the 2nd floor of the THQ building... broken toilet seats and each one of them covered in urine. EA was a bit better. Vivendi tho... only 2 toilets for all the testers, and they had a booger problem there. *barf*
  • swampbug
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    swampbug polycounter lvl 18
    You're thinking of Tubgirl.


    [ QUOTE ]
    We got someone here who wipes backwards or something, because there's always some poop smeared on the back rim of the seat. You think they'd notice this, but nope.

    Wow Justin, that one sounds like a goatse disaster.

    [/ QUOTE ]
  • Justin Meisse
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    Justin Meisse polycounter lvl 18
    I work at a newspaper, you'd think all the Macs being used would civilize these people just a little bit!

    ugh, the dreaded poop smear! My theory is that it's caused by someone positioning their, shall we say, "point of exit" too close to the back edge of the toilet seat, therefore scraping off a sample when "delivering the goods".
  • Rick Stirling
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    Rick Stirling polycounter lvl 18
    The language the people use in my office is disgusting. And they talk about...*it*...too much.

    And I ithink some of them buy pornography. And some drink. You know. Alcohol.
  • Slayerjerman
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    Slayerjerman polycounter lvl 18
    AHAHA - just walk down *ANY* of the halls of Microsoft (specifically the millienum campus) around the good ole hour of 1pm and the halls are lined with trash cans filled to the brim with post-lunch goodies and the scent of rotting garbage.

    That or the dreaded year-old left overs in any employee fridge X_X
  • Josh_Singh
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    Josh_Singh polycounter lvl 18
    Rick, I bet people at your work play that evil Grand theft auto game.
  • kleinluka
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    kleinluka polycounter lvl 18
    my co-worker found a nugget in the bowl yesterday.
  • motives
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    motives polycounter lvl 18
    [ QUOTE ]
    And some drink. You know. Alcohol.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    no way
  • ScoobyDoofus
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    ScoobyDoofus polycounter lvl 19
    My office is RIGHT next to the crapper here, so I get to hear & smell the foul bowel emissions of our talented staff.

    Somebody here also leaves the empty cardboard tube on the TP roll, and sets the new one on top of the toilet, instead of just changing the roll. Same thing with the paper towels.
  • PaK
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    PaK polycounter lvl 18
    wow, i have never seen any of this. that would disgust me. though the dudes at ubi montreal would 'regularly' clog up the toilet. siomeone put directions up on howto properly take a dump, i thought that was clever, iw as waiting for someone to use it as toilet paper, but i didn't get to stay long enough to see that happen.

    -R
  • ElysiumGX
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    ElysiumGX polycounter lvl 18
    shittiest thread ever.

    do all these guys still live in their parent's basement? think they would have control of their bodily functions by now...and the decency to wipe the seat off.
    I've called co-workers disgusting because of their smoking habits. Watching the tar drip off the walls of a musty breakroom isn't fun while trying to eat lunch. Then there's the sick coughing noises.

    Our species is still climbing up that ladder slowly.
  • man_o_mule
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    man_o_mule polycounter lvl 18
    luckily nobody here at Falcon Northwest leaves messes in the bathroom. we did ahve a sewage problem a little while ago where every day at a certain time the bathroom would just reek. luckily we called the sewer people and got that taken care of.
  • Dukester
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    Dukester polycounter lvl 18
    In the summer of 80 I worked at Treasure City and I was the janitor. TC was one of the few department stores that had public bathrooms. I had the weekend off and the store was closed saturday and open sunday. Monday morning was always an eye opener.

    It was always horrible. Please don't make me elaborate further frown.gif
  • AstroZombie
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    AstroZombie polycounter lvl 18
    One of the people in the office brought in one of those school fund raising catalogues for their kid's class. She just let the catalogue go around the office freely so that no one would feel pressured to buy anything if they didn't want to. Well, the catalogue was making it's way around until it got to one person's desk who chose to take it with him to the restroom. Needless to say, that catalogue never made it through the rest of the office as no one really wanted to touch a catalogue that someone had used as reading material while taking a crap.
  • Weiser_Cain
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    Weiser_Cain polycounter lvl 18
    I refuse to use public restrooms, I'll piss but nothing else.
  • Ninjas
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    Ninjas polycounter lvl 18
    I usually find a closet, prop myself on my shoulders and urinate/deficate in my own mouth. Saves me from having to use disgusting public restrooms..
  • Moz
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    Moz polycounter lvl 18
    Real men sweat it out.
  • gauss
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    gauss polycounter lvl 18
    awesome story of my brother's about a friend of his that has a slight problem with dairy. not that he can't eat it, but if he does it does tend to give him the intestinal rodeo... so they go to some mexican joint and knowing that he probably shouldn't, he gets a big old bean burrito with cheese and sour cream, the works. all the friends eat their fill and pile into the car to go back to their apartment... about 5 minutes away from the apartment the guy realizes he has to GO. NOW. he clambers out of the car, fumbles the key into the lock

    runs up the stairs

    opens the bathroom door

    pulls his pants down and turns around,

    and THERE, bent over but not yet sitting down, he sprays the whole toilet and back wall of the bathroom with diarrhea.

    my brother said it was one of the worst sights/smells ever... they felt sorry for him, but definitely made him clean it all up laugh.gif
  • Weiser_Cain
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    Weiser_Cain polycounter lvl 18
    I wish you hadn't fuckn' shared that, I'm gonna go off and wonder why I read it...
  • TomDunne
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    TomDunne polycounter lvl 18
    [ QUOTE ]
    At Volition.. some wise guy keeps taking one poptart from the wrapper leaving one behind.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Gabe Botkins.
  • oXYnary
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    oXYnary polycounter lvl 18
    You know. Now we know all this, next time you see a janitor, give them a big old hug (and a raise if possible). smile.gif
  • Rhinokey
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    Rhinokey polycounter lvl 18
    eww janitors have to clean all this up.. maybe the raise, but definately not a hug
  • Sean McBride
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    Sean McBride polycounter lvl 18
    gauss hahahahaha sounds like the guy has a extream case of what i have. lactose intolerance... but my lower stomach just KILLS me after i eat something like that... someone needs to tell that guy there are pills he can take that will help his body digest that stuff! wink.gif "Lactaid"

    I feel sorry for that guy! D:

    and janitors...

    hilarious thread. smile.gif
  • monster
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    monster polycounter
    When I detect I'm going to be longer than 5 minutes in the john, I take my PSP. I feel a little embarassed when someone else comes in and can hear the game sound fx, but they can't see me....
  • Daz
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    Daz polycounter lvl 18
    A couple of years ago at EA redwood shores one saturday afternoon, I saw jizz floating in the toilet. There was only a handful of us around to so I narrowed it down.
  • Weiser_Cain
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    Weiser_Cain polycounter lvl 18
    You gotta go you gotta go...
  • Rick Stirling
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    Rick Stirling polycounter lvl 18
    I heard someone having a wank a few weeks ago.

    (It put me off my stroke)
  • danr
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    danr interpolator
    who the hell is so desperate that they're forced to wank at work?

    we've moved offices now, so hopefully we will have left our mystery turd-fiend behind. How is it POSSIBLE to get actual shit on the toilet roll holder? Eh? EH??
  • aesir
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    aesir polycounter lvl 18
    some people are just don't give a shit about anyone else around them. (haha, I snuck the word "shit" in there)

    On a side note, I've found that many animators lack any type of hygiene and are largely, a disgusting group of people.
  • Rick Stirling
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    Rick Stirling polycounter lvl 18
    Danr - it passes the time.
  • notman
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    notman polycounter lvl 18
    I've seen these trends at several places. The crap on the walls, the shit stain on the back of the seat (like they sat back too far), and the stuffed up toilet where they felt like sharing their loaf. The other disgusting habit I've noticed are the booger bandits. The guys that can't seem to use the tissue right next to them, to blow their nose. Instead they pick and flick it all over the walls and the handicap bars. I mean what the hell is wrong with people?

    The other thing that bothers me are the guys that act like they are giving birth in the bathroom. You're sitting in a stall, then suddenly you hear from the stall next to you, 'AAWWAAEEERRRRRGGG...oooooaharrrgggg!!!" My god, what did you eat that has reformed into a size that you can't crap out without pain?
  • Jeremy Lindstrom
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    Jeremy Lindstrom polycounter lvl 18
    This thread reminds me of "The Steakhouse Incident"

    http://www.ihos.com/steakhouse.html
  • snemmy
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    snemmy polycounter lvl 18
    once when i went to the restroom at my gf's dorm i opened a stall door to behold the largest turds i have ever seen in my life or on tv.. well other than the Triceratops poo in Jurassic Park but this gave that a run for the top spot.. it looked like someone had backed a rhino into the stall. they were so large in circumfrance that they could never have fit through the pipes. i swear to all that is holy that they were at lest 6 inches in diameter.. i dont see how they got it out without destroying thier rectum.....

    other than that ive not seen anything remotely close to what's been described so far. and ive lived in 3 dorms with public toilets/showers and i work at Wal-Mart
  • Mark Dygert
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    At Humongous, we had someone I shall refer to as "the breather". He worked on the second floor and was a pretty big guy, so big that he couldn't take the stairs (only two floors) and taking the elevator was enough to make him VERY wheezy for most of the morning. Because chicken is healthier than regualr fast food he would get a bucket from KFC. His keyboard and workspace in general where a big greasy mess. If and when he would get up (which rare) it was to go to lunch, the bathroom/get some more soda.

    So normally (not known to me at the time) around 2:00-3:30pm the breather would get up from his desk with his (empty) giant 2 liter therma-mug and go for a refill and hit the head on the way back. My first week after we moved upstairs, I get trapped in the bathroom with the breather, TWICE!

    IF a guy gets wheezy after taking the elevator, imagine what a trek across the building does. It sounded like he was going to pass out or have a heart attack, maybe a bit of both each time, who knows.

    Encounters of the 1st kind:
    Only two stalls, one handi and one regular. The breather required the handi stall and would wait you out if you had unwittingly taken it, as I did the first time I was trapped. It was inviting, large, slightly cleaner the seat was kind of loose but I'll take that over a dirty stall any day. Since no one could see feet in the handi stall without bending so far over you might as well say hi. He kicked the door. This door opens out so he had to kick it hard enough to get it to "bounce". On the first kick he must have figured it wasn't hard enough. By the third kick I coughed and he stopped trying to break in. He sighed and stood wheezing and gasping, drinking his soda like he had just ran a race. I finished like a soilder suprised by a fire fight with his pants around his ancles. I opened the door, squeezed by, washed my hands and almost ran back to my desk.

    The Twilight Zone:
    The second time I was wise to the game and took the regular stall, which featured a non loose seat but plenty of nasty skids and a bit of something that just wouldn't go down no matter how many times I flushed before giving up. I covered and hovered knowing the thin paper barrier would not protect me catching ass rot. It was really distracting hearing someone go thru the grunting and squeezing. The worst part was before that, sitting there feeling the floor gentely shake, thinking at first it was my legs getting tired of hovering. Hearing the wheezing/gasping getting louder, hoping he would pass the bathroom by and knowing he wouldn't.

    After the Dust Settles:
    Add to it the physical exertion needed to drop trow and FORCE breakfast out and there was very little air in the bathroom that he had not exhaled at some point from some oreaphas. If you had the misfourtune of wandering in after he paid his visit you normally turned around and ran to the down stairs bathroom. If you where brave, you used what little air you had in your t-shirt and prayed that the dryer sheets you used yesterday would hold back the tide of stench. After my first encounter I had day-mares about having to pull his half naked body out of the stall to do CPR... I later found out that others had similar encounters and I cursed them with the same day-mares after telling them.
  • TelekineticFrog
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    TelekineticFrog polycounter lvl 18
    I present to you these great signs that a coworker of mine produced for such instances. We had a problem for a while but I think these shamed them to change, or so it seems.

    nopoo25vo.jpg
  • steve_o
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    steve_o polycounter lvl 18
    Not only one poptart but also half a donut or something always shows up at Volition's kitchens.

    Oh I've seen boogers on the walls in the bathrooms before, sometimes it's funny until I think about where else they might be around the studio.
  • notman
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    notman polycounter lvl 18
    Actually just came back from our bathroom a little bit ago and someone had a urine soaked streak of toilet paper sitting on the floor. It's like they dropped it on the ground, then pissed on it. Especially weird since there was not urine surrounding it.
    Another disgusting thing is someone appears to be going bald in their private area. There is always a bundle of pubic hair in front of the crapper, or on the ring. It's really nasty. They provide ass-gaskets here, but they really don't seem like enough when you consider the environment.

    The bathroom by my lab doubles as the locker room for our fitness area. So you also occasionally get to walk in to see guys naked taking a shower. To top it off, these guys seem to get off on displaying themselves. The hall to the urinals goes between the lockers and shower area. The openign for the showers is basically in the direction that you're pointing as soon as you walk in. Sometimes guys will be standing there in a superman type pose to apparently show off their wang. I usually refer to that bathroom as the gay bar.
  • oXYnary
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    oXYnary polycounter lvl 18
    I have to wonder, many of these messes are made by shall we say.... nah, lets just be blunt. Fat Asses, Big Boys, Programmers who havent seen the light of day for years. Since their rectum is now blocked by layers of fat, a direct exit/aim isnt as easy (hence shit smears). They consume much more which makes the amount that exits them greater (which can lead to clogs). This also ties into the amount of toilet paper they use since they have a larger surface area to clean.

    So going back to a janitor, when they see a fatass entering the restroom they are cringing to themself. Working at a weight watchers must be a janitors nightmare, while working at a health club, their dream.
  • Joshua Stubbles
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    Joshua Stubbles polycounter lvl 19
    Not always true, Ox. I know of some pretty damned fit people who seem rather proud of taking +1ft long poops.

    Gauss' story above reminds of of when I worked as a pump attendant at a Chevron station. I was also the stockboy and janitor as well..

    Some old bum went into the stall. A few minutes later I went in to restock the toilet paper (since it was low). Upon opening the door, my nostrils burned with fecal aroma. After I flicked the light on, I was welcomed to the sight of brown/orange dripping walls. I damn near puked on the spot. I had to have used at least 5 gallons of undiluted cleanser on that bathroom...

    ack.
  • KeyserSoze
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    KeyserSoze polycounter lvl 18
    [ QUOTE ]
    Because chicken is healthier than regualr fast food he would get a bucket from KFC.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    After you slather it in fattening batter and then dunk it in boiling lard, chicken is no longer healthy. Anyone who believes KFC is healthier than other fast food is kidding themselves. I'm sure you're aware of that, but it's sad that this guy (and many others) don't know any better.

    [ QUOTE ]
    So going back to a janitor, when they see a fatass entering the restroom they are cringing to themself. Working at a weight watchers must be a janitors nightmare, while working at a health club, their dream.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Well, you may have a point, but I don't think being a janitor anywhere would be a dream... unless it was at the Playboy Mansion or something, then I think I might be able to put up with being a janitor ooo.gif.
  • Joshua Stubbles
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    Joshua Stubbles polycounter lvl 19
    [ QUOTE ]
    ... unless it was at the Playboy Mansion or something, then I think I might be able to put up with being a janitor ooo.gif.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Wouldn't that sort of break the illusion though?
    Going into a restroom after a bunny, only to see she left a loaf behind? ooo.gif
  • Illusions
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    Illusions polycounter lvl 18
    Working in a doctor's office I've seen my fare share of disgusting stuff, in and out of the restroom. I've seen blood on papers, lcd screens, toilets, walls, doors, floors. Discarded bandages next to trashbins. Since I'm one of the few guys working there, the seat is always down when I use the bathroom, and of course I have to lift it up...manually. By far the worst experience was lifting it up to find what can only be described as a mixture of urine, blood (I don't want to know how they achieved this feet), and crap across the bottom surface...

    ...I washed my hands...a lot that day. Thank god for hospital grade disinfectants.
  • danr
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    danr interpolator
    ah yes, being a janitor at the playboy mansion. Mmmmm! Cleaning up the remnants of manically repeated entry, demanded and demanded again - faster - because the light is failing. Slag Issue. *drool*

    d'you know how much a jizz-mopper makes per hour? Not enough
  • killingpeople
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    killingpeople polycounter lvl 18
    [ QUOTE ]
    Sometimes guys will be standing there in a superman type pose to apparently show off their wang. I usually refer to that bathroom as the gay bar.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    haha! awesome. sounds like something my little brother would do.
  • flaagan
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    flaagan polycounter lvl 18
    the EA QA restrooms always reaked, and some group of geniuses ALWAYS pissed all over the toilet seats and floors... I think it was the Tiger Woods QA team, that group never struck me as the brightest bunch.

    Back in high school, word went around that the janitors were finding football sized loads in the toilets; they couldnt be flushed so the janitors had to removed them. This went on for a few weeks and then stopped; never found who was dropping the bombs, but it was believed to be one of the football players.
  • nealb4me
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    nealb4me polycounter lvl 18
    Oh geez, my stomach hurts from laughter.

    Maybe the shite smears on the back of the seat is from guys hovering while in the act, because the toilet is already too filthy to actually sit on? Just speculating here :P

    Back in highschool there was this kind of slow kid, all scrawny and small and very much in his own little world. He took it upon himself to do his business on the benches in the changing rooms during lunch break and once in the showers too... It's just so unexpected, like you walk in there about to put your bag down and then "Oh! HelLo!" It had a very mellow odour :S Anyways I feel sorry for the kid but it was hilarious at the time.
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