I'm either going to cry, break something (possibly part of my own body), or go insane
Ok file this under 'Emo'.
Last couple of weeks, maybe month or so I've been having a very hard time doing anything at all worth talking about when it comes to game art.
It's driving me crazy, I see so much that inspires me, so much that motivates me, but the last 3 projects I've started, I've just scrapped and deleted in rage.
Up until now, I'd worked my ass off, every spare second I had I was learning, practicing, doing portfolio work because my dream is the same as many on here... to get employed as a game artist.
I have no idea what it is, and at the risk of sounding utterly pitiful, it's actually like a depression. I just can't get into anything.
I tried a chopper, after being incredibly impressed and inspired by Xoliuls incredible work and what his shader can do on vehicles. I got a half-assed Hi-Poly done, got some great crit, started another and just gave up and scrapped it.
So I thought, ok lets try a WoW style environment. Couldn't produce anything of real interest in Max, rushed into the painting, made it look crap, gave it a rest for a bit, came back, still sucked, deleted.
So I found a reference I liked of an environment, started blocking it out, and again, thought it sucked so gave up.
I know for a fact these symptoms are suffered by many, but I just feel so shitty right now that I'm not sure how to get through it and start doing stuff I enjoy again.
Something else that makes this feeling 10 times worse is that ever since I started getting into game based 3D work, I've felt like I'm up against the clock. I'm now 25, and I feel like each day is a ticking clock where I gotta get myself up to a decent standard as soon as possible.
Feel free to offer e-hugs or kicks up the ass in the comments below.
Last couple of weeks, maybe month or so I've been having a very hard time doing anything at all worth talking about when it comes to game art.
It's driving me crazy, I see so much that inspires me, so much that motivates me, but the last 3 projects I've started, I've just scrapped and deleted in rage.
Up until now, I'd worked my ass off, every spare second I had I was learning, practicing, doing portfolio work because my dream is the same as many on here... to get employed as a game artist.
I have no idea what it is, and at the risk of sounding utterly pitiful, it's actually like a depression. I just can't get into anything.
I tried a chopper, after being incredibly impressed and inspired by Xoliuls incredible work and what his shader can do on vehicles. I got a half-assed Hi-Poly done, got some great crit, started another and just gave up and scrapped it.
So I thought, ok lets try a WoW style environment. Couldn't produce anything of real interest in Max, rushed into the painting, made it look crap, gave it a rest for a bit, came back, still sucked, deleted.
So I found a reference I liked of an environment, started blocking it out, and again, thought it sucked so gave up.
I know for a fact these symptoms are suffered by many, but I just feel so shitty right now that I'm not sure how to get through it and start doing stuff I enjoy again.
Something else that makes this feeling 10 times worse is that ever since I started getting into game based 3D work, I've felt like I'm up against the clock. I'm now 25, and I feel like each day is a ticking clock where I gotta get myself up to a decent standard as soon as possible.
Feel free to offer e-hugs or kicks up the ass in the comments below.
Replies
Arrrgh, part of me wants to be like 'man up, get down to it' but there's also a big part of me not wanting to.
I often have the same problem. I'd say start with small things that you can finish, you know, an original prop that you can finish in one day, that will leave a good feeling after you completed it. Than move on to some bigger props, start a tiny scene, make it bigger, plan a map with a friend and motivate each other.
It's 2010 man, see it as a new chance, just hang a post it on your screen that says "Don't start what you won't finish, because it's just a waste of time".
Also it might be a good thing to test you for ADHD, might be a chance that you have the attention disorder problem. Even if you don't smash things up but well your topic title suggest other things
Also not your personal blog and blabla
So I'm going to focus on revising my demo reel. I've spent the last year creating a lot of stuff but never really finishing any of it. I guess what I'm trying to say is that when you get burnt out on one thing it's usually best to let it sit and go work on something else for a while. Then when you come back not only will you be eager to do some work, you'll also be more willing to adopt better work habits.
or, you know...
Sniper, I don't so much have ADHD, the title was somewhat of an exaggeration, but it is depressing. Fortunately I generally live a happy life, it's just this aspect that's getting me down. But I think to be honest you've hit the nail on the head in stating I'm taking on big projects that are never gonna get finished.
My first project ever, the workshop in UE3, was done exactly the way you suggested, building little by little, prop by prop, and I think going from that to something as technical as a motorcycle was a bad move.
It's the game art workflow combined with my background in arch viz that causes problems. I don't so much have the issue with building Hi Polys, so I end up creating some insanely detailed, overly modelled object and then when I come to do a low poly and bake, my lack of experience shows and I give up.
I'm probably pushing myself a bit much I think, I read a post on here about how it's important to not just do things you're comfortable with, and I think I took it to the extreme and ended up just making things worse.
Well you've all already helped a great deal thank you, I'm gonna go make a rock or something
Seriously though, thanks!
Problem solved.
Take it easy, and do what you enjoy doing!
I think there's just that whole 'running out of time' feeling I have that almost makes me feel 'forced' to start producing portfolio stuff.
Ok I'm feeling better about it, really appreciate the comments people.
Good luck!
To make you feel better: I get that too, you know. Just now, I did some attempts at creating an environment for my hotrod. It just went nowhere, felt like horrible bland empty landscapes and I couldn't really get an idea on where to start and improve it. I really wish I could take my art further than just the finished prop on a grey background.
I think in my case, if I have to flesh something out, create it as a detailed product, I really have trouble getting it to go anywhere if there's no decent concept or reference. I can create a fictional car, but only if I studied tons of similar cars and drew a stack of concepts. If I try to do something for which this approach doesn't work directly or that I'm not used to (like a fantasy outdoor environment), I get that same thing as you happening.
So yeah, what I would and am gonna try, is to build it up, like I did with my cars 4 years ago. Start simpler, small-scale. I started building 5.000 poly cars with only diffuse textures, from a folder with hundreds of refpics, some taken by myself in real life to fill the gaps. I'm gonna do the same for this environment, start with something real life, many repeating elements, a gazillion refpics, pick props than can go a long way so I don't have to build a lot of different ones and just try to get it finished. I can drag myself through a 2 month car project, so an enviro should be doable too.
Tell ya what, I try and finish this thing I'm gonna start, you do the same thing for a project of yours ?
(btw, to see that you actually only started doing game art this september, you really are advancing well. Don't let the tripping over overambitious projects get you down!)
you need to enforce some kind of deadline with a real punishment.
i dont know, construct some kind of machine in your room that will break a vial of poison gas after X amount of time and the only way you can shut it off is if you finish a kickass scene and get the code to turn off the machine.
Speaking of reference pics, go out and take some. That could help too
Xoliul, you didn't cause my loss of motivation, the opposite in fact. What I meant really was that I'd never considered attempting vehicles until I saw what your shader can do on them, and also your Brutal Rod. It was my lack of skill that caused the loss in motivation!
But you're right, and backing up what everyone is saying, start with something I'm capable of finishing.
I'm really keen to get a vehicle of some sort done done, but I think I will just start small and simple, and possibly even build part by part rather than do a whole high poly then start feeling like this when it all goes wrong at the next stage. I know that's not really the best way to work in terms of a game based workflow, but hey, if it gets me thinking positive again then that's good with me.
And I think I will take a step back, Darksiders/Bayonetta will keep me occupied for a while anyway!
Many thanks
I've been sort of in a rut lately too, not wanting to do any art really. Or well, I tell myself I need to, but don't. I guess I'm waiting to do art when I get back to work.
I've just been learning to drum otherwise, went home for a couple weeks for xmas, and I might start skateboarding again. Maybe it's better to take a break sometimes, then get completely burnt out.
I will finish my model though, just need to get in the mood.
I dunno, but you work at IW, don't you get your fix of creating cool stuff at work ?
Creation: yeah if you wanna do vehicles, start with a simpler thing. A motorcycle is like ... top-shelf difficulty. I didn't even finish mine yet. Some boxier car, like a landrover. Just make sure you think it's awesome, like see a documentary about it or on Top Gear or something.
maybe you should be doing smaller projects every now and then, ones than you can finish in one evening.
you want to have a great portfolio because you think the job is fun, but already aren't having fun working on the portfolio. then you must be doing something wrong
Not to belittle this thread, we all know how brutal the art road can be at times. but i can't help but think polycount is falling apart from all these darned "emo" threads. This threads been made hundreds of times. When i first started coming to this place, there was so much 3d awesomeness that noobs like us would be afraid to post, but now it seems like threads of frustration are keeping everyone else quiet. Shrug, i dunno.
Hate to say it, but you gotta suck it up. You need to figure out how you can get better at art, it's a different path for everyone. The last thing you want to be remembered for is the guy who needs to vent on polycount, that wont help you get a job. As someone stated earlier, sometimes it's best to just take a little break, not kick yourself for not getting better. 25 is still young in my book, i'll be 28 soon and i'm in the same boat, plenty of time to get better.
Some quick advice: Just do what gets you excited about art again. Competitions and mod teams are GREAT motivation. Sometimes you can't do it on your own, find something that will help motivate you.
http://boards.polycount.net/showthread.php?t=68591
QFT
Also, how do you think its going to be when you're doing this for a job? They're going to give you assets at some point that you'll not be excited about creating, you have to find a way to get through it, its part of the job. Of course, "get this done, or I find someone who will" is pretty motivating. You can't expect that you'll always be jazzed about whatever it is, but that's where work ethic, perseverance and the burning need to see a project through till its end, all come into play.
If you sit around and wait for inspiration to strike you like lightning then you're going to be waiting a long time. Sometimes the best motivation is digging into something and just going for it.
It also could be that you're not doing new things? Not pushing yourself?
I've known artists that would only draw one thing, but they do it really really well but they would also lament about being bored... well duh... you draw one thing, how can you not be bored.
Your problem is that you keep giving up and think that if you dont make something amazing the first go you suck.
No you dont suck for this, you suck for giving up and not completing a project. Do you honestly think all the talented people here just went from 0 to fucking awesome? Not a chance. To get better at something you have to work at it, not try and give up and start something new expecting it to be better when you didnt finish or learn anything for your last attempt.
The reason you finish projects is to learn from them and apply the skills and things you did wrong to your next project. Sure you might have learned 1 or 2 things along with your "emo rage quitting projects" but you would learn 100 times more if you actually completed any of them.
I know from personal experience that I have done tons of assets and environments that I dont think are great at all compared to most of the stuff I see here. But I stuck it out through every one of them. I never gave up on a project because I didnt like it or it was no where near as good as other people but I knew it takes time to get the skills and knowledge to work better.
This is why I am a big supporter of schools as they force you to finish projects or you fail. You are given deadlines you have to meet like in the industry and you have to turn in whatever you have when that deadline comes. If it sucks you will fail or in the industry maybe laid off. Some times you have to turn in things your not 100% happy with because in reality there is always something you could do to improve but it helps you learn to work faster, hit deadlines, make sure you plan accordingly and gets you to finish projects and move onto the next one to learn more.
Moral of the story is, suck it up, stop emoing on PC, pick a project you think you could reasonably finish, make a plan on when it has to be done, finish said project, learn from your mistakes, start the next project.
Don't expect to go from zero to hero.
It's the same to everything in life..
you have to work hard for things..
or do you think, most awesome artists started making cool shit from the get go?
that's a great idea, but not here. don't ask people on polycount for emotional advice. it's a terrible idea. it's not their field. you're goign to get retarded bullshit like "suck it up" -- not because they're stupid, but because many of them are emotionally unconscious, because it's not what they do all day.. however:
Even if someone here is the SHIT, emotionally speaking, such a person simply can't unpack your psychology efficiently enough online in order to help you. listen to some of the things that have been said here! these people haven't asked you to further explain exactly how you feel, they just heard what you said, they ASSUMED that they understood the deeper level, and just started speaking to that fantasy. that's not tactful, and not what you'll get from a therapist.
if you feel like shit, go get advice from someone who is emotionally mature, like a therapist. I recommend finding a good NLP. oh, and if you're afraid of going and getting some sort of guidance because it'll mean you're a 'loser' or some retarded bullshit like that..
"suck it up" and start acting in your best interest. you can either feel better or be lazy, refuse to change, and keep feeling like shit. pretty obvious decision, isn't it? if you chose option b, just make sure you get your whole head in front of the shotgun.
I'm hardly ever content with anything i do most of the time. But that drives me forward, too. It makes me mad at myself but pushes me to get better.
If it doesn't look the way you want it to look, it doesn't have to mean "you just generally suck". It usually just means you haven't spend enough time on it. It's especially when you're unhappy with stuff that you musn't quit working on it, because the quest to figure out just how to make it look awesome is what makes you improve.
Think of it as an rpg. If you run from battles halfway through you'll get nothing even tho you wasted some HP and SP on trying a bit. You'll only really level if you face the challenge and finish it
Try out all sorts of things to see how it turns out and you'll learn. Keep tweaking and trying.
It's okay to take a break and play a bit, a game that really inspires you and reminds you of what you want to create. (But come back to your project afterwards :P)
Also try keeping track of what you achieve. You could make notes of it or kind of mentally think "Achievement unlocked: Got better and quicker at unwrapping" or "Normal Mapping Skill level UP~!" and keep track of what you finish and if you can look back on the stuff you've finished, that, again is motivation on it's own in a way. Good luck^^
says the guy who wouldnt change the wood texture of his barrel?
TAKE
THE
TIME
rushing, even a bit is something that has 100% always led me to ruin. take your time to get something done right, whether it's a model or a painting. then do it again. again. you get speed with time.. but rushing or straight up giving up? that won't get you anywhere.
and as others have said, do stuff that keeps your interest and motivates you.
"Time and time again the lack of drive will come from the lack of interest.
The lack of interest always comes from your lack of focus.
You lack of focus comes from your lack of organization.
Are we seeing a pattern developing here?
Keep it organized , you will find it quicker and keep yourself on track."
i work best with a half working dumpshot of slowed down system
dunno why but its just like that
don't give up, keep at it!
...you just need to finish your 1,000 crappy drawings to get to it.
Hahahah
I am pretty sure that once I make 20 or more (perhaps will be 50 for me) characters they will start turning in alright
And I still dont belive in all of those - "yeaa this is my first sculpt I just got zbrush and look at me ....
This is me Circa 2002 Suck it.
I know chuck jones (bugs bunny) was famous for saying it, but I'm pretty sure he grabbed it from someone else.
you must be the only one then lol
Maybe you think to much and rush to much and Rome wasn't built in a day.
make art or that will happen to you ^
Why do you Want to get into the games indsutry ? ask yourself that question.
because money women and power come from people who say they make video games for a living
seriously though it takes a rare group of people who enjoy this and can get slapped around a bit and get back up
Stop being so greedy. What you want isn't earned buy passionate complaining. Stop looking so far ahead and focus.