Wanting to be Great, struggling when you realise you're not
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Ok this is another one of those personal productivity threads, I know some people loathe them but I know some people struggle too so I'm keen to hear some thoughts.
Recently, I've been noticing that whenever I do something creative, be that drawing, painting or other art related stuff, or even music stuff like composing... I get a daunting realisation that I'm not as good as I want to be and I lose all interest in carrying on.
I see great art, or hear great music and I get inspired, but then for some reason I obviously expect to be able to create stuff of a similar greatness. Inevitably with my level of skill, I fall far short of my goals and that just makes me lose all motivation to do it.
I suppose the correct way to progress is to use the feeling of inadequacy as a power to try again, but it's very hard to not just want to give up when the stuff you are creating is shit (in your own opinion).
So how do you guys get past the fact you are unsatisfied with your work and keep going. I know being satisfied with your work is not something necessarily good, but there's a difference between knowing something is just plain rubbish and not being satisfied but knowing your work is of a reasonable level.
Recently, I've been noticing that whenever I do something creative, be that drawing, painting or other art related stuff, or even music stuff like composing... I get a daunting realisation that I'm not as good as I want to be and I lose all interest in carrying on.
I see great art, or hear great music and I get inspired, but then for some reason I obviously expect to be able to create stuff of a similar greatness. Inevitably with my level of skill, I fall far short of my goals and that just makes me lose all motivation to do it.
I suppose the correct way to progress is to use the feeling of inadequacy as a power to try again, but it's very hard to not just want to give up when the stuff you are creating is shit (in your own opinion).
So how do you guys get past the fact you are unsatisfied with your work and keep going. I know being satisfied with your work is not something necessarily good, but there's a difference between knowing something is just plain rubbish and not being satisfied but knowing your work is of a reasonable level.
Replies
There's really no point in just giving up and starting something new (I've done that plenty of times), because don't you really learn where you went wrong once you've finished it.
I'm not sure how you're comparing yourself to artists greater than you. Don't expect to achieve the same amount of quality as quickly as they will, they've had more experience doing similar things so it's to be expected. If they were to do stuff that they've never done before it will most likely take more time. They might even give up.
Recently I've been feeling like I'd reached a plateau and I wasn't actually getting better at what I do. Sure, I was practicing what I know and I was becoming faster at what I do, but I wasn't actually improving my art. This made me realize that there are other artists out there who do the same things I do, but they've been doing it for a shorter time and they're better than I am.
To combat the feeling that I'm just not good enough, I set up projects for myself with a specific goal in mind for them. For example, the character I'm working on for the Mutant League challenge is already nowhere near as good as it could be. It's alright. It could be better. I'm sure I could get a more interesting silhouette and/or overall design. But I've designed it with specific technical (and artistic) goals in mind so that I can quantify what I've taught myself.
I want to teach myself better, more efficient UV mapping techniques. With that in mind, I designed the character to have three arms that all have different geometry, but those arms are all going to share the same UV space because I want to figure out ways of using UVs more efficiently.
I also want to teach myself how to enhance silhouettes with interesting features on low-poly models because it's very relevant to the work I'm doing at my job. To that end, I've been pushing and pulling verts around so that the silhouette is pretty wildly deformed. His arms and legs are bendy and have massive differences in thickness, and that's something I usually don't get in my models.
The final thing I want to learn is how to use colored shadows and highlights on a neutral base color in 100% hand-painted textures. I've never really had a great sense of color when it comes to creating art (which is why I often stick to monochrome drawing), so I'm trying to change that with a project that uses techniques I haven't practiced.
I recognized three specific areas where my skills could be much better than they currently are, and I set up a project (the Mutant League entry) to educate myself and improve those skills. Now that I have these goals in mind, I don't care as much that the model itself is probably not going to look as awesome as I'd like because I realize that it's a learning exercise and it represents the combination of three areas where I'm weakest.
By far the majority of my time is spent trying to find some direction>inspiration>motivation. Some people can just throw down something and have fun with it and end up with great results, and sometimes it seems like the harder you try to think up and make something awesome the less likely it is to turn out awesome.
I guess advice would be to try to not try so hard and keep working and iterating. Also if you can work with something/someone to give you some direction that would surely help a lot. Whatever you do don't let things get out of control to the point you're in a rut where you can't even find the motivation to rationalize opening the program. Those are hard to get out of...
I feel one of the worst things to do is when you are at the point of being pissed off when working. You anger and frustration will only hinder your progress. When I get to this point I usually end up just staring at the monitor more than working. Just like Gestalt said try to not try so hard and just have fun with it. I always feel my best work comes out when I'm not stressed about it being perfect but just relaxing and having fun doing what I love.
The hardest thing is that it's all in my own head, I do get compliments from others occasionally but it still doesn't alter how bad I might think it is. I think it's difficult too because it's dangerous to be completely satisfied with your own work, but at the same time, as Swizzle said, you gotta be sure you're actually improving.
I've no idea why I have this idea that I 'need' to instantly be as good as the artists who inspire me, but I need to lower my expectations I reckon, otherwise I'm not gonna get anywhere.
So just do it.
Befriend them
Make myself believe im an unworthy disgrace compared to there skill
Late knights studying and sulking and refining my skill
Weeks later my skill level rises
Now Im on there level or have surpassed
Ever since i lost my ability to produce a 2D drawing ive grown less confident in just about everything, i use to feel a sense of extreme excitement when i seen some very well done fanart like this http://jdillon82.deviantart.com/art/Samus-Aran-169035226?q=favby%3Amadnessimport%2F41091031&qo=28 now i rage because it'll take me years to reclaim my skill or even get on this level.
This helps.
mine is 10.000 hours to many thing ... no wonder none of it turn that good lolz ... ^_@
Would you still make art?
The idea of being great at art is a fantastic notion, everybody wants to be great at everything... But the end result of art -- the "greatness" that comes out of it -- is the smallest part of it. The biggest part of art is the work and thought that goes into getting to that result, and if you can't enjoy the process of making art on its own merit, then the odds are stacked against you and it's always going to be an uphill battle.
I don't think anyone succeeds on just the lure of greatness alone. They succeed because success is practically inevitable when you pursue what you enjoy (even if you don't enjoy it ALL the time).. You naturally become great at it so long as you have the desire to do the work and the desire to do better. If you have both of those then you need not worry about a thing.
Dii - I should clarify that when I talk about 'greatness' I mean solely in my own opinion. I'm not looking for praise or respect from others, and financial success or a career opportunity don't interest me in regards to my art, and most of the time I don't even show my music to anyone. I do it because I enjoy it, the process is always fun but the end result is what lets me down.
That Ira Glass quote is golden and that's definitely the page I'm on.
I tend to believe that anybody who can't motivate themselves really doesn't enjoy it as much as they would like to tell themselves.
What keeps me going is that I have got this far on my own completely. I will get to where I want by sheer brute force because I will not stop. Its only logical that if I keep going forwards I will get to where I want to be at some point. I am never happy with work, and in most cases am embarassed by what I produce. But that is because I want it to be better, as you say it is never as good as I want it to be. But I then remind myself that I am not superman, I have other commitments and they get in the way sometimes. The only way I can keep my head above water is to try and focus on what I have achieved and not using other people as a yard stick to myself. We are all different and everything effects us in some way.
I got really down but then realised I didnt have a computer until I was 15, which means I had to self teach all that basic stuff before I could even get started on industry related subjects. I then had to work since I was 16 where other people could afford not to. This again delayed me, as did a number of other things.
What I can say however is that I have worked my hardest whenever I can and have done well ever since I found my feet in this field. I was the best out of all my friends at uni and did not know of anyone better than me on the course. I even taught many of them as the course didnt seem to help them.
After leaving uni with a 2:1 (was onlya few marks from a 1st but there is some personal drama about this which i wont go into) I have been asked by 2 indie teams to work for them. (One indie and a cryengine 3 mod) I havent been able to do either due to personal commitments but the fact they asked me made me feel great and told me that I have some skill even if its not honed yet.
On top of all this I honestly think I am most proud of the fact that I got here on my own steam, while dealing with life as well. I am not where I want to be yet, but so far I think I am doing well and I think if you focus on your achievements you will do too. As this related to your work, just remind youreself it doesnt have to be your best work, not even close, but as long as it is better than your last piece you can count that as a win. Even the pro's gotta take baby steps, no one (and i mean no one) got to where they want to be overnight.
Edit - Scratch that, I was rushing to write this but I was joint best artist on my course (that I knew of) me and a mate who I met later in the course where very closely matched in our skillset and worked closely together. We still talk today and if i had to choose an artist I know personally I would say he is the most talented artist I know. He also wont come on forums which drives me mad lol. wuss
Well, keep going is one of the key parts to it.
if you are losing your interest in any project, take a break, come back later and continue. If you keep on starting a project and than discarding it before finishing it off, chances are you are going to get used to that habit.
Remember, no one is good, and we all started from some part, and we have to get to certain standard. Your standard being "you are not as good as this other guy who composes his music better than you do." If it helps you understand the fact of you are struggling to get by with anything, just remember this fact happens to everyone.
Motivation is the second key, watch youtube videos of speed drawings or speed sculpting and all, to get motivated about your work. Listen to music. and practice.
And lastly, A mild push to get you moving on and getting things done. Like you will get one from this thread.
Majorly, it is easy to give up man, I mean I thought about giving up 3d arts because its too lame and the stuff that I need to work with later on is hellish. But I DECIDE not to give up.
http://vimeo.com/19428188
Thanks! I am actually a bit of a fan of Nick's podcasts/talks (and his MoGraph work) and the people he talks about too (Merlin Mann/Seth Godin etc). I actually haven't listened to their stuff for so long and it's funny because most of what they talk about is probably directly relevant to how I'm feeling about all this so thanks for the reminder!
Firstly, feature creep. The bane of absolutely everyone, can be used to help you improve. If you want to keep changing stuff, and you're getting better continually, then you'll be reworking and remaking, throwing away the old crappy modeling and making new modeling, using it to make better models. I've got one thing, been working on it for 10 months now, longer if you count the original sketches. But, I'm 100 times better than before, it looks better with half the parts not done that it did when I tore it apart. It improves with me, and I like that.
BUT, you always need to have a turnover I think. Something mildly complex, that you can knock out in 3-4 days. Benchmark yourself. It can be worth setting yourself a target, something you have to be better than, or even blend in amongst. You can target something specific, or you can fire at something random (do both), but this is the objective part. Mythbusters said it best - replicate the circumstances (deadline), then replicate the result. Or if you got the result, then make it spectacular.
The last (more general) point is, it has to be personal on some level. Doesn't matter if it's music, modeling or motor racing, if your heart's not in it you're going to stop dead at 90%. But if it's something you're not familiar with, and you heart's in it you can collect your extra 10% anyway.
In fact I've been giving a talk on motivation for artists lately and afterwards a few people wrote me that they get really discouraged looking at other peoples work and that seemed like the point I didn't cover at all. And I was sort of surprised, 'cause I haven't experienced this problem for years and almost forgot what it's like. So I've been giving it a thought and here are a few ideas on the subject that I have:
You're not sure you're gonna stick to game art no matter how ugly it gets?
When people have the highest level of commitment they have no problem with not being good enough - they know they'll get there no matter how much time it takes, it's just that they are not there yet.
Beginning artists always need confirmation in the form of public opinion or at least a comparison with what they look up to, that they've done the right choice with their field of activity.
"Why should I try to get into something when there are people that much better? It'll take forever to get there, if I ever will..."
Motivation 101 says you've got to believe that you have a big chance of success to undertake any kind of activity. The bigger your belief in your success the bigger your motivation. And how can you hope to compete with people that are already that much better than you?
That might be the sort of thing that's going on subconsciously in your head.
And if I had to give a few advices I'd say
1) Don't. Don't compete with no one. Be focused on the process and not on the results. When you play basketball all your attention should always be at the ball and not on the scoreboard. You get better only because of how much you play, and not because of how much you win.
Then you...
2) Analyze. Make it a positive experience. Realize that seeing someone do an awesome job akin to what you do is a blessing, not a curse. Because you can use what they did.
There's an interesting phenomena in corporate takeover: When one company tries to buy out the other they actually spend a hell of a lot money on insider info on how to best make their offer and how much to bid. But then everyone else just analyzes their offer and bids some more and if the company that made the initial offer really wants that deal they end up paying much more, than other companies would have. They call it a real problem.
Luckily art is not that way yet. Someones' great job is actually a distilled source of information that you're getting way easier than the author did. It's full on things you find beautiful - so learn from it! Analyze it piece by piece and find what it has that you don't.
Every time you see something awesome make yourself happy by becoming better because of it. There's no way it'll get to you then, but on the contrary will motivate you to work even more!
3)Don't get too hung up on the elusive "greatness". No matter how good you get there's always, and I mean ALWAYS, someone to rip your sorry ass to shreds. Even when you are an art director on AAA game those assholes in Hollywood will art direct something better. You just don't let it get to you. You get a challenge out of it, sure, but try to look for the ways to make yourself happy solely by the work you do, and not by how it looks compared to others.
4)Just get through it. If nothing else helps, just work through it, sluggishly and painfully. People get discouraged with their work all the time. Every single person does.
Those who quit - lose. Those who stick to it no matter what find a shiny reward at the end. It's only a matter of choice, be sure to make the right one.
Some really great points there, I appreciate the suggestions. I'm actually feeling a lot more positive about it just from reading some of this. It's surprising how a little change in mentality can really shift your mood.
I should clarify though, I'm not like full on emo freaking out here, not even particularly down about it. It's just a little bit of a kick in the balls when you can't satisfy your own tastes. In any case, I'll take these points into mind next time I head into the studio or get down to some art.
hwaiting!
This is the exact reason I choose projects that require me to finish them before I'm able to say I actually learned what I set out to.
I'm starting to work more with modular environments and I think that process alone is helping me think and plan better, especially in environments that, say, require only 10 assets and the rest of the map is just tiled like that.
The best advice my old man ever gave me was when he asked me, "Son, how do you eat an elephant?" After thinking for a bit and coming up with nothing, he said, "One bite at a time." Brilliant advice when up against big projects, or any project for that matter.
For example, yesterday I felt really confident and happy with myself (as an artist), Now I feel like absolute shit. I've gotten used to this constant mood swing, kind of. Sometimes I manage to trick myself into thinking I've closed that gap until a day or two later, click, wrong again brain!
Bah..
I'm looking forward to some time off this Christmas to just relax and work on some paintings, should help a lot.
It's totally ok to feel like shit about yourself. In fact it might even be a necessity. I think that if you want to be a good artist this is something you'll have to learn to live with. Just make sure there is a difference between knowing there's a long way to go and obsessive compulsive disorder.
It doesn't get you down so much when you're realize you'll hopefully be unsatisfied with yourself for the rest of your life.
*group hug now*