TF2 - Polypack - Zwebbie
polycounter lvl 18
Finished and submitted!
The Man-hittin' Project:
The Fallout Shotter:
The Jiminy Crockett:
The Duct Tape and Cover:
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Listen up, maggots! [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Yesterday at 0800 hours I had a little talk with the boys from R&D. Those four-eye sissies told me that I should get along with my time. Talking about how they invented atoms and that I should kill people with their new invisible gases. I was just about to show them worthless bags of brains personally how effective a good old shovel to the face can be, when they rolled out a demonstration video. Now I don't know how these atomic gimmicky doodads work, but apparently they cause explosions. Big explosions. And I do know that every true patriot loves explosions.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Gentlemen, I have decided to propel myself into...[/FONT]
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First up is something they call the Shady Rocket, or something like that. I do not know why those R&D pansies always want to come up with all those fancy nancy nicknames for weapons. Perhaps they have nothing better to do during their girly tea parties.
They told me it was a tripod mounted nucular device, but I told them that if God wanted us to mount weapons on tripods, He wouldn't have given us shoulders, so I made some adjustments myself.
Dismissed!
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The Man-hittin' Project:
The Fallout Shotter:
The Jiminy Crockett:
The Duct Tape and Cover:
--- original post ---
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]
[/FONT][FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Listen up, maggots! [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Yesterday at 0800 hours I had a little talk with the boys from R&D. Those four-eye sissies told me that I should get along with my time. Talking about how they invented atoms and that I should kill people with their new invisible gases. I was just about to show them worthless bags of brains personally how effective a good old shovel to the face can be, when they rolled out a demonstration video. Now I don't know how these atomic gimmicky doodads work, but apparently they cause explosions. Big explosions. And I do know that every true patriot loves explosions.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Gentlemen, I have decided to propel myself into...[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]
First up is something they call the Shady Rocket, or something like that. I do not know why those R&D pansies always want to come up with all those fancy nancy nicknames for weapons. Perhaps they have nothing better to do during their girly tea parties.
They told me it was a tripod mounted nucular device, but I told them that if God wanted us to mount weapons on tripods, He wouldn't have given us shoulders, so I made some adjustments myself.
Dismissed!
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Replies
I wonder how it would work in game though.
(I'll let someone that isn't just a leech like me do the actual criticism on the model)
Also: Awesomeness.
the jiminy crockett.i called it.
BAM! Done! That's a wrap, folks.
Hph hruhru hmphmphuh? Hmmp nyuh nm huh Hmphheh mph. Mhnkf!*
*A triple reference? That's way over the Soldier's head. Thanks!
Listen up, you sorry sons of botanists!
Those lazy R&D girls are still working on this! They tried to make it more "Valve friendly". I do not know what that means, but friendly is the opposite of manly! I am showing you pictures now, because once it is done you will only have a very short time of looking at it before exploding, melting and catching fire ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
You don't have to come up with gameplay or stats.
The rocket is looking real nice! I liked the tape/straps holding on the handles on the first one though and the story that went with it.
But what's with the fan?
I think that's meant to be the nuclear symbol.
Ah that makes sense. It's a crosshair of sorts I'm guessing then? I thought it was a fan too...
Listen up, you walking pieces of shame!
It's part of some "Valve-friendly" project. What that means, I do not know. I never need valves: I shower in my enemies' sweat and drink their tears.
While the previous weapon ran into some trouble (something to do with asthmatics), here's something new. The R&D boys told me it was a man-portable remote detonation nuclear fission device. That's some vague scientist mumbo-jumbo that doesn't mean anything. It was hard to whack people over the head with it, so I added a stick myself.
Gentlemen, I give you the Man-hittin' Project. It's a mace.
(LOL do not fire at texas)
Ahem.
It is an interesting piece of work you have here, Soldier- its lack of subtlety is very "you." I suppose those who cannot wrap their minds around subterfuge and stealth will find it invaluable.
However, as there is a chance I might be in the blast radius if this... monstrosity malfunctions, I feel obligated to point out that the rocket is actually wider than the weapon it is being launched from (around the middle, where it narrows down).
I also think it would benefit from some psychological effects. The best weapon is one you never have to fire- add some more little details to make it intimidating, perhaps. Make it more... messy looking.
The only thing more terrifying than a portable nuke is a portable nuke that looks unstable.
Listen up, you wastes of dog food!
Thank you Spy, it's good to see that you're doing something for the war effort other than your usual dress-up parties.
Work on the rocket launcer is progressing slowly; the R&D slowasses are doing a bit of a "redesign", which is scientist talk for a retreat. I think they may have been infiltrated by an enemy Spy, because they keep talking of "silhouettes". We don't need your nancy Frenchy words!
In the meantime, look at this colour picture of the Man-hittin' Project. A hundred pounds of bludgeoning beauty.
Agreed here, the handle is a little plain.
Now y'all just slow on down partner. How're you thinking of science-ing up your atomic aged weaponry without ol' Engy to guide yah? Mah expertise is perfect for this, got myself at least 3 or 4 advanced degrees in atomic engineering and thermonuclear dynamics if I recall correctly.
Now this, er, Man-Hitter or whatchamacallit...son, do you know how dangerous such a weapon is to handle?
I spose a jughead like y'all might not cotton to the dangers, but let me make it real simple for ya: mah Engy senses are tingling, and it ain't Spahs - it's radiation.
Perhaps you shoulda coulda woulda oughta putta Radioactivity warning label on that there weapon.
Sorta like this here lil number:
I LIKE SANDVICH!
Nah, I think it's alright.
It looks like Soldier just carelessly shoved something up there, which sounds exactly like something he would do without much though about consequence: "And then he beat the crap out of every single one!".
I also don't like the idea of making the cords go to some button or something like that, I like it like this. When it looks like someone without much idea what "atomic" weaponry is just decided to shove a stick into it and use it as a mace.
ooh and a little idea, maybe ad some light on it, that flashes whenever you hit something, as if you have activated the timer, but then its stops with a small fizz
Reminds me of the sea mine scene in Hot Fuzz:
[ame]
I'm reminded of Fallout 3's fatman.
Ahem.
Gentilmin,
I think we have a spy among us.
Problem solved.
Listen up, you soon-to-be-spilled buckets of blood!
You Engies and your concern with safety. WAR ISN'T SAFE! If you want safety, maybe you can go back home to your mother and play dolls with your little sister.
There's no need to ruin a perfectly good club with pictures. And those blue team cowards wouldn't have time to be warned before being smacked anyway.
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If a man attacks you with a sword, you can defend yourself.
If a man attacks you with a rifle, you can defend yourself.
Even if a man attacks you with a minigun, you can defend yourself.
The answer in all these cases is, of course, a rocket launcher. Just gib those goddamn bastards when they get close.
But there are all kinds of invisible ways of attacking today. Mind control. Magnetism. Radiation. It's how Charlotte Curie killed Napoleon. Using state of the art repellant tin foil, I crafted myself the Duct Tape and Cover to be completely immune:
It still needs some work, but no Albert Einstein is going to be able to defeat me!
SECRET AGENDA
YES