Dealing with Artistic Self Doubt?
polycounter lvl 17
So, I got my review today, and while it wasn't exactly bad, it did highlight a few things that I need to work on (that's pretty standard). However, for whatever reason, this review made me question my skills heavily.
While I'm sure it will pass, and it is my belief every artist goes through this once in a while, but does anyone here have good ideas for working through it faster? or what helps you get through these shitty times?
Thanks
-Nick
While I'm sure it will pass, and it is my belief every artist goes through this once in a while, but does anyone here have good ideas for working through it faster? or what helps you get through these shitty times?
Thanks
-Nick
Replies
I dunno, I've never been confident of my skills. I've never made a piece I liked for more than a day. So, Im where you are, except thats the norm for me.
I looked at your site and you have really good work there, if they told you what you need to improve just practice. If you were not good enough you would not have a job simple as that. That said if you feel you are not good enough at something take the time to learn it, just don't get all stressed out about it.
Alex
bam---^
On the flipside, making something bad will only depress you more. :P
- BoBo
I'm a huge critic of my own work. My personal work suffers from it, because I always back out. That's why I never finish any damn challenges, lol. At work it's a little different because I know I must finish, no matter what. There's some kind of switch that turns off after 5pm to where my nitpicky self takes back over. It's frustrating.
Like some have said, working on something you really like is good incentive to keep going. Working on crap at my previous 2 jobs got me in a real slump the past few years. Now I'm working on something I love, with a team I really respect - I haven't been this happy in years.
You really just have to relax and work through it. As BoBo said, he ends up finishing work he'd otherwise throw away. That's exactly right. If you work past the point of frustration you'll usually find yourself sailing through the rest. Just one more speedbump down
I don't love most of the stuff I do (I think there's one thing in my game right now that I still like, and it has things that really bug me), but I don't doubt I'm capable of producing something acceptable.
I try to outdo myself every time, and push myself farther with each piece. It doesn't mean every prior piece is shit because it's not up to my current level, but old work is never going to demonstrate as much skill and talent as new work.
I'm lucky enough to work on pretty much exactly the shit I'd be doing in my spare time at work, so this helps me keep my spirits up and myself engaged in what I'm working on - it's the stuff I really want to nail. If you're not working on stuff that you really enjoy at work perhaps you should work on something else at home to push yourself and improve?
I think the reason that this one affected me so much, is that I'm being moved off of a project I REALLY enjoy working on, and onto a project I don't really care too much about. So doing something I LOVE isn't really an option right away. I guess I need to find things I love within the new project, but it'll take a bit before I'm there.
The main concerns in the review were less of my technical abilities as an artist, but more of my artistic eye/vision on the project. People seem to think that I'm fairly good at churning out ok stuff, but not so good at making something amazing. I don't disagree, but I'm not really sure what to do with that type of critique.
I think part of the solution to much of this, is that I need to get back to my roots, and take a traditional art class somewhere. It's been too long.
There are things that you learn to see after a while, rhythms, harmonies between forms, interactions between colors... and the emotive side of a piece, which might not even have anything to do with its craftsmanship. Going back to basics is a great way to train yourself to start seeing these things again.
On the other hand, I'm doubting my own technical skills as a painter these days...go figure.
I, like Vassago, constantly critique my own stuff. I think its an important skill to have. It really helps keep those "I love it" 2hrs later "what was I thinking" moments to a min. But it also means I always see things I can improve on and never really fall in love with much of anything I do.
It may not feel like it but this will probably lead you to feeling more confident and making better art, provided you don't get stuck in the funk.
How do you get anywhere if you never know where you're at?
Now that you know, it sounds like you're on the right path to get to where you want to go! I agree, each time I focus on traditional art, (and work on something totally unrelated to what I do every day), it improves everything I do.
That said, one of the better things I've done was to take some time off creating art, and just spent my time studying art. Viewing works that I really liked and asking myself, "I know I like the way this looks, but why?" proved to be helpful.
If it's hobby work, I'll just stop working to let my head breath. It's supposed to be for fun.
I'll hang in there if it's a work thing and work through the frustrations. Sometimes all it takes is a walk around the building. It's my job to be focused and stay productive.
If I'm having a rough day at work, I tend to look for technical or organizational tasks to make my tomorrow easier. Hopefully I'll be more in the zone later on.
If it gets bad and it's not just a bad day, it's time to find the source of my frustration by thinking about it and doing my best to remedy my problem. Typically I find for me, it's external stress that makes me overreact to my insecurities.
At work of course it will not work like that, but things that I tend to do there often to keep the track are solving everything else around the problem first, thinking about the things that disturb me, resting on a parkbench for a while, DO some studies if there is the time, accept to work a little slower and learn (it tends to have a fast finish, a little risky deadline business..). Sometimes the problem lies on oneself with a non focused mind or other types of things that hinder you to make good stuff and sometimes someone else may be responsible for the blockade. If the ideas are dumb and plain, the concept got shitty and non of those folks complaind about that in the early stages or made some decisions then of course you will be in a pretty frustrating situation. Sometimes there is room for complains, sometimes I need to find out what the hell the "idea" man was thinking in the first place and blend the right amount of shit away, and sometimes I really need to do something about it! (remind some guys to make desicions in there life..)
and sometimes its just a bad day, this really happens and i try to accept that. giving 100% every day is not good, sometimes the day does not want more than 60, and sometimes it wants a 120 - trying to reach 100% every day feels like a act of fear to me - it kills self-confidence and a active creative mind. so i try to go with the flow on such days - pays of in the long run, keeps things sorted
looking critical on my work? in the company yes - thats needed, I need to tell others why this and that, I need to stay to directions, describe it to others...
but for private stuff - yes and no - i just want to follow my attention and if that attention wants me draw without judge then i will do, so on so on
I try to be attentive, i guess thats my main concern as its for my job or for my works (or for myself) - and it works somehow, keeps my doubts low
No. . . but now I'm interested. . .
Thanks for all the replies guys. I've talked to a few people to try and nail down a little better what the issues were.
I work in a small team (5) and I came from a team where I had 5 env artists around me. The main problem is that I was treating the whole team (Char artist, Animator, Designer, Programmer) like that Env team, when looking for feedback.
When I thought I was being collaborative, and getting feedback from each of them, I was actually coming across like I didn't know what I was doing, and was grasping for ideas from whoever was around me. That wasn't my intention. I was trying to involve the whole team in the creative process for the environment (since we were ALL brainstorming design things too), but that's not how it came across.
Lesson learned, I will be on a larger team now, with more opportunities to get that simple feedback from other env artists, rather than having to probe everyone around me.
I'm not happy about this, but I can cope. It's not that I thought I was an amazing artist, and I'm shocked to find out I'm not. It's that I thought I was doing fairly well, and learning as I went, but found out that I seemed somewhat clueless and bumbling instead.
I hope you can get feedback from the new team without sounding like a dumb blond. I think this was more of a culture clash thing than you lacking skills.
i know im not in the industry
so i dunno if my opinion / advice would be valued as much as somebody else's, but i figured id provide my thoughts to this thread anyway.
personally, i'm always attacking my own art. earlier, i didnt used to, then polycount came about. everything, and every strand of desire to keep doing 3d crashed, and tore apart. i figured that id screwed up my future, and set a dream i could never attain. thankfully, with quite a bit of support, from friends, family and polycount alike, i got back on my feet, and onto the right train of thought.
i kept doing the stuff i was bad at, but :
- payed attention to advice, and kept trying to improve along those lines
- never looked back. if something is terrible, i'll think of it to be so 'forever'. might aswell forget it existed, and flip to a new 'page.'
though some may argue this isnt a good idea, i know it worked for me. many people on the boards have commented on my apparent improvement, and those words are more motivating to me than all the 'dude that's awesome!' from all my friends, especially considering the class of artists its comming from!
also, i think that trying something completely new might help alot. i know i was / am feelin terrible about my character art skills. so i tried out for the mod facade challenge. first time do env. art. and im loving it. not only am i enjoying the 'new' venture, the community support is really helping my confidence levels.
just my thoughts on the subject.
i still think my character art is equivalent to the poo of most of you artists on these boards, but im trying to change that asap.
till then, ill do what gets my mood going =D
I agree with you, and admit that I haven't posted much of my actual work here. That's mainly due to the atrophy of my outside work. I do a lot of 3d at Cryptic, but have pretty much stopped (short of the Mod Facade Challenge) doing 3d outside of that. I need to get back into doing little things in my free time, and practice more there.
You guys are a valuable resource, which is the whole reason I posted this. I wasn't looking for pity, or a pat on the back, and I'm very happy that that is exactly what I didn't get. Instead, I got a ton of good insight, ideas and motivation to do better.
Just as poetry is refined through structure and cadence, so should we strive to work with our shortcomings, instead of struggling against them.
what i do instead is look at the technique I am struggling with and try another angle or do more research.
I made it up, just then. This is actually one of my limitations. Whenever I plan things out, or attempt to realise a vision for something, it always ends up as crap. Whenever I sit down and just doodle, or spit out content spontaneously, it ends up as solid gold. I can never take control of my creative vision without spoiling the end product. In order to gain the quality I need to impress, I have to relinquish control.
Life is full of compromises.