Help me sort out the mistakes

Foma

Hello everyone!
This is my second model, and I ask you to point out the mistakes made in it.
 The model is made in Maya, textures are standard from Substance Painter.

JamesBrisnehan

Not bad for your second ever model. Here are some things I've noticed that could be worked on:
The overall design is very minimalist, and I think it could use more detail. Was this based off a real-world shotgun? If it was, can you share some of your reference with us?
Some of the edges are too sharp and aren't catching any highlights. Did you bake down from a high-res model? If not maybe bevel the 90 degree angles for a more realistic look.
Also there is a texture seam running down the cylindrical grip. Using 3d projection in substance painter should help with that.

1337gamer15

Reminds me of a Remington 870 Express. Are you trying to correlate the design to a real shotgun model? You seem to be missing the action release and safety button. Maybe put some scratches around the ejection port too.

icegodofhungary

In addition to real world references for the gun you want to make, it might also be helpful to gather some reference of other people's work on the same subject. That would help give you a target for quality and detail.

https://www.artstation.com/artwork/0B40y

https://www.artstation.com/artwork/8LmER

https://www.artstation.com/artwork/58Rxag

While this level of quality may feel out of reach when you're new at this, I believe you can get a lot closer.

Your metal material doesn't look metallic enough and it lacks proper wear and tear. You have a dirt texture but it's too consistent. When you apply wear to your objects, think about where and how the object was used. Was this shotgun stored in a closet for decades? Was it used on the battlefield? Is it brand new or is it old? These things help you know where and how much dirt or wear to apply. Also gather some references for the materials as well and try to make your metal look like real metal. When you're starting out everything you do should have a reference attached to it. Because our ideas and memories of what metal or guns should look like are different than how they actually look. Even if you get the modeling right, the materials can really break the realism.

As for the modeling, I think the shape of your ejection port is wrong. I'm assuming you box modeled over a profile picture of the gun. You traced the shape of the ejection port on the picture, but it doesn't look quite right in three dimensions. Whenever you transfer flat details to 3D, you have to think about the forms and how these shapes wrap around it. Look at some references of the gun in other angles to get a better sense of how that shape should look in 3D.

It's a very good start and with a little more work this could be a very solid piece. Keep going!

Foma

icegodofhungary said:

In addition to real world references for the gun you want to make, it might also be helpful to gather some reference of other people's work on the same subject. That would help give you a target for quality and detail.

https://www.artstation.com/artwork/0B40y

https://www.artstation.com/artwork/8LmER

https://www.artstation.com/artwork/58Rxag

While this level of quality may feel out of reach when you're new at this, I believe you can get a lot closer.

Your metal material doesn't look metallic enough and it lacks proper wear and tear. You have a dirt texture but it's too consistent. When you apply wear to your objects, think about where and how the object was used. Was this shotgun stored in a closet for decades? Was it used on the battlefield? Is it brand new or is it old? These things help you know where and how much dirt or wear to apply. Also gather some references for the materials as well and try to make your metal look like real metal. When you're starting out everything you do should have a reference attached to it. Because our ideas and memories of what metal or guns should look like are different than how they actually look. Even if you get the modeling right, the materials can really break the realism.

As for the modeling, I think the shape of your ejection port is wrong. I'm assuming you box modeled over a profile picture of the gun. You traced the shape of the ejection port on the picture, but it doesn't look quite right in three dimensions. Whenever you transfer flat details to 3D, you have to think about the forms and how these shapes wrap around it. Look at some references of the gun in other angles to get a better sense of how that shape should look in 3D.

It's a very good start and with a little more work this could be a very solid piece. Keep going!

Thank you, I will remember your advice.So far, I'm not very good at ditalization, but I'll try my best 

Foma

JamesBrisnehan said:

Not bad for your second ever model. Here are some things I've noticed that could be worked on:
The overall design is very minimalist, and I think it could use more detail. Was this based off a real-world shotgun? If it was, can you share some of your reference with us?
Some of the edges are too sharp and aren't catching any highlights. Did you bake down from a high-res model? If not maybe bevel the 90 degree angles for a more realistic look.
Also there is a texture seam running down the cylindrical grip. Using 3d projection in substance painter should help with that.

Thanks for the feedback. I'll keep the mistakes in mind. I got the shotgun from this site https://airsoft-rus.ru/catalog/1029/174314/

Foma

JamesBrisnehan

Ah, ok. Seeing that reference helped. The silhouette and large shapes all look about right. You just need to add in more of the small details, like screws and welds.