But it's not reading tech stuff why I've taken so long.
There have been other circumstances in my life that physically prevented me from getting work done. Like, even if I sat down for 8 hours and did what others said and got to work, I was still prevented in other ways from working on my portfolio.
It's something that I really hated but I've been powerless against it. When I eventually do get a job, I might finally be able to talk about what happen to me in those 2 years.
This is why I've done my best to work so hard on my art while keeping a low profile. Many people are getting the wrong impression about me over circumstances I couldn't control. It's my goal to reverse those misconceptions.
Well, after all this time figuring out what issues are holding you back from being your best, I know I am going to be pretty disappointed if there isn't three awesome portfolio pieces on September 8th, 2018 from @JordanN.
I actually came close to finish everything I had in May, but I pushed it back because I'm really not a person who likes rushing.
I really do believe August is finally the month everything will come together, but if I feel like I'm going too fast or there's not enough polish, then I try and give myself more time. I'm really treating this project like I'm literally betting my life on. I have no other options left.
Alright, but as long as you don't lose any limbs or have major mental breakdowns or an ex breaks out of prison and tries to murder you... September 8th, right?
If you have/are having unrelated problems that makes you unable to work long hours the more reason to listen to what people here are saying, and the more reason to focus your art to smaller subjects that take less time but show skill, you don't have time sitting around on a forum discussing technology which you would gain nothing from other then rendering out stuff faster that wouldn't land you a job anyway.
Alright, but as long as you don't lose any limbs or have major mental breakdowns or an ex breaks out of prison and tries to murder you... September 8th, right?
Major mental breakdown might be a good description of what happen. Along with a very heinous incident I still have to deal with to this day.
I am working on something I will post to Polycount later this year. And it's going to sound very depressing and aggravating, but it's what I went through.
I had a big head injury and was clinically depressed for three years. I tried different pills, but some just made me angry, others made me suicidal. No bueno. I tried going to college, but couldn't stick with it. It got really bad at some times, like I couldn't get out of bed in the days before my wedding.
It wasn't until I got really excited about 3d that I started finding myself feeling like a kid again. Getting up at 5am to work. A year later, it's still the same. All the time my wife is telling me to take it easy and stop working so much. But I can't. There's too much to do, and not enough time in the day. It gives me purpose, which having a lack of was what was making me depressed. It had nothing to do with the head injury -- I don't believe so anymore, anyway. It was just that after getting out of the army, I simply didn't know what to do, and I was alone, and that's just not normal for a young man. It can drive you crazy. You've got to stay active.
Anyway, that's my story. Depression works different for different people. Maybe you jsut need to light a bit of a fire under your own ass, and be careful to catch yourself when you start making excuses. Maybe its something else. Whatever it is, you got to find the enemy, and destroy him.
@BIGTIMEMASTER My daughter gave me purpose and drive but 3D Art is what gave me focus in life. The only thing kicking around in my head prior was getting buzzed and being a saddo. I don't think I was ever truly passionate about anything before it. Silly me for waiting 26 years to discover it but, that's just how it goes.
After my last layoff, I was unemployed for 5 months. It felt like a month. Which is weird, but that's how my depression presented itself. I didn't feel particularly sad, I didn't feel particularly anxious, most of the time. Time just passed, and I felt unable to do anything during that time. Dissociation, I suppose. I'd sit at my computer, and bam, it would be night time, and I hadn't gotten anything done; and it wasn't because I didn't want to do work, and it wasn't because I'm not passionate for 3D— it just wouldn't happen. I felt somehow unable to do anything. And before I knew it, it'd been 5 months. And good luck explaining that to people around you. This kind of behaviour looks like laziness to much of the outside world; they can't see the battle being fought to even get up in the morning.
And because my symptoms were atypical, I didn't feel like I had depression, or that it would be fair to say I had it, even though it was clearly interfering with my life. I wasn't hopelessly sad, or suicidal. I was just foggy and unmotivated, and time passed oddly.
Eventually I got a job; not in the industry, but a job that kept me busy many days a week. And while it didn't get rid of the depression, and didn't help too much on my days off, it got me out of bed, and forced me to be productive and active in at least some way, which felt better. And I've been steadily getting more productive on my off time.
Recently I took the dive into antidepressants. I haven't had much luck yet, but I'd rather take some time to figure it out, than waste another 5 months, while alienating the people around me.
Too much information for a game art forum? Maybe. But I think it's important to discuss issues like this, since they seem to affect a lot of people, especially in more artistic fields.
I feel one of the problem is that is hard to focus on what is important. What is really fundamental to learn. The problem is that it really vague and you can get stuck on pressing buttons on zbrush/other software mode. Do you press this button in zbrush, or is there a better button to press in zbrush.
I feel a lot more confident in anatomy when I started to look at how traditional sculptors study anatomy and then later on how doctor study anatomy. But, it took me a few online courses to change the way I study anatomy. Now it totally different to what I was doing a year ago.
If you had to make a Wolf in zbrush, I doubt there is a button that you can press to make it. But, then how do you make a realistic wolf, probably would be more understand on canine anatomy, which case it would be studying veterinary books on dogs. Understand the bones of a dog, understanding how the muscles connect to the bones, understanding where fat is store on dog.
Would be easier to just waste time on irrelevant stuff.
Replies
There have been other circumstances in my life that physically prevented me from getting work done. Like, even if I sat down for 8 hours and did what others said and got to work, I was still prevented in other ways from working on my portfolio.
It's something that I really hated but I've been powerless against it. When I eventually do get a job, I might finally be able to talk about what happen to me in those 2 years.
This is why I've done my best to work so hard on my art while keeping a low profile. Many people are getting the wrong impression about me over circumstances I couldn't control. It's my goal to reverse those misconceptions.
I really do believe August is finally the month everything will come together, but if I feel like I'm going too fast or there's not enough polish, then I try and give myself more time. I'm really treating this project like I'm literally betting my life on. I have no other options left.
Major mental breakdown might be a good description of what happen. Along with a very heinous incident I still have to deal with to this day.
I am working on something I will post to Polycount later this year. And it's going to sound very depressing and aggravating, but it's what I went through.
It wasn't until I got really excited about 3d that I started finding myself feeling like a kid again. Getting up at 5am to work. A year later, it's still the same. All the time my wife is telling me to take it easy and stop working so much. But I can't. There's too much to do, and not enough time in the day. It gives me purpose, which having a lack of was what was making me depressed. It had nothing to do with the head injury -- I don't believe so anymore, anyway. It was just that after getting out of the army, I simply didn't know what to do, and I was alone, and that's just not normal for a young man. It can drive you crazy. You've got to stay active.
Anyway, that's my story. Depression works different for different people. Maybe you jsut need to light a bit of a fire under your own ass, and be careful to catch yourself when you start making excuses. Maybe its something else. Whatever it is, you got to find the enemy, and destroy him.
Moving from General Discussion to Career & Education. Thread seems more about stagnating careers, than stagnating tech.
My daughter gave me purpose and drive but 3D Art is what gave me focus in life. The only thing kicking around in my head prior was getting buzzed and being a saddo. I don't think I was ever truly passionate about anything before it. Silly me for waiting 26 years to discover it but, that's just how it goes.
After my last layoff, I was unemployed for 5 months. It felt like a month. Which is weird, but that's how my depression presented itself. I didn't feel particularly sad, I didn't feel particularly anxious, most of the time. Time just passed, and I felt unable to do anything during that time. Dissociation, I suppose. I'd sit at my computer, and bam, it would be night time, and I hadn't gotten anything done; and it wasn't because I didn't want to do work, and it wasn't because I'm not passionate for 3D— it just wouldn't happen. I felt somehow unable to do anything. And before I knew it, it'd been 5 months. And good luck explaining that to people around you. This kind of behaviour looks like laziness to much of the outside world; they can't see the battle being fought to even get up in the morning.
And because my symptoms were atypical, I didn't feel like I had depression, or that it would be fair to say I had it, even though it was clearly interfering with my life. I wasn't hopelessly sad, or suicidal. I was just foggy and unmotivated, and time passed oddly.
Eventually I got a job; not in the industry, but a job that kept me busy many days a week. And while it didn't get rid of the depression, and didn't help too much on my days off, it got me out of bed, and forced me to be productive and active in at least some way, which felt better. And I've been steadily getting more productive on my off time.
Recently I took the dive into antidepressants. I haven't had much luck yet, but I'd rather take some time to figure it out, than waste another 5 months, while alienating the people around me.
Too much information for a game art forum? Maybe. But I think it's important to discuss issues like this, since they seem to affect a lot of people, especially in more artistic fields.
I feel a lot more confident in anatomy when I started to look at how traditional sculptors study anatomy and then later on how doctor study anatomy. But, it took me a few online courses to change the way I study anatomy. Now it totally different to what I was doing a year ago.
If you had to make a Wolf in zbrush, I doubt there is a button that you can press to make it. But, then how do you make a realistic wolf, probably would be more understand on canine anatomy, which case it would be studying veterinary books on dogs. Understand the bones of a dog, understanding how the muscles connect to the bones, understanding where fat is store on dog.
Would be easier to just waste time on irrelevant stuff.