Dying bird (looking for feedback)

VanZark

I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions or feedback on this animation before I start doing the cleanup. Unfortunately it has to be only 60 frames long. So that's why it's so short. I really wanted to fit as much as I could in that time though. Does that make it too "sped up" or jerky looking?

I'm still fairly new to animation so any tips or feedback would be appreciated.

Thanks

Arturow

LOL, loved how his wings transforms into like hands, its a clear idea and funny. Maybe when you finish the animation it will feel a little bit rushed the 360° ( just an opinion) but I think that it can be going from the choke to the dead ( so we can read that choke a few more frames ) and add a nice overlap to the body when falling , remember is just my opinion but good job! please post the final result

VanZark

Thanks for the great suggestions. I kinda want to keep the 360° since it kinda adds a more "cartoon dramatic death" feel. Maybe going with one large cough would be better then the two quick coughs? might read better and slow things down a bit?

Arturow

I think 2 coughs are working good and 1 would be too fast. I wouldn't put a large cough , since all the movements are fast and it would looks strange.

If you want to keep the 360° then go for it !! and start the clean up , if you feel that later the 360 is too fast , just take frames from the end and add another pose in the 360. Take my points as opinions , at the end you are the one that is going to decide, cheers and good luck!!

linwail

Hah! It is pretty funny even though its rushed feeling.

Jonny10

My first impression was that I didn't know what was going on until I saw him dead on the floor. I've been looking at it over and over again. To me the spinning part isn't very clear.

I think it's wings shouldn't be extended while he's spinning since he's spinning very fast. When an ice skater spins he extends his arms to slow down and retracts them to speed up. Perhaps you could add more emphasis to the fact that he spins on one leg by sticking the other one straight out. Maybe even make him land on his back with the same leg up to tie it all together.