Good start, but I do have a couple suggestions. I'd recommend framing this to a wide screen aspect ratio, even if it's going to be rendered to NTSC. Starting with something closer to the golden rectangle makes composing shots a little easier imho. There are also some continuity issues between 5,6 and 7. The robot appears to start traveling left to right in the frame, then right to left in the next and back to left to right. Those types of changes can confuse the viewer as to how the space is organized and how the character is traveling through it.
I agree with the 16:9 aspect ratio. I'm also in agreement with jStines with the continuity. You're breaking the "180 degree rule" when the camera goes to the other side of the character. If you want to go to the other side you need a mid shot where you neutralize your 180 degree line so the next shot you can establish a new line. Another thing I recommend is drawing quick thumbnails before you fully render your images. It'll allow quick easy edits and allow you to explore different shots without committing to anything. Storyboards can be black/white sketchy, you're trying to establish character design, story, and color theme/mood all in one go. Another thing that comes before story boarding is the script! Have you written a script and a shot list? Last little thing is when you said "camera then cuts to a dump and slowly pans in" this type of a camera move is called a "truck in or truck out" where you physically take the camera and move it forward or back in space. A pan I believe can either be where the camera rotates from a fixed position or its like pan navigation in any 3D program - where you physically move the camera up down left right or any direction but not forward or back. Overall I do feel there is some tension in this story which is good. You also get straight to the main character after your establishing shot without dilly dallying around which is also good.
thanks guys for the feed back and I do agree with you guys, i need to fix the 180 rule that I break. my teacher told me that same thing, as for the pitch and script, it has no script, I was trying to make it a opening for a game or a game trailer
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