You could cut this down to 10 sec. Have the AO and wire frame happen around the 180 and 360 turn mark. There's really no need to see this spin around 10 x's. The presentation is good... just kill the music and shorting it up a lot.
Looks like rays are perhaps not casting out far enough? In xNormal, for your low-poly settings, I always change it from 0.5 , 0.5 to 10 and 10. Not sure if that will make a difference for you, as it could be a ton of other things, but give it a try.
That's not 8/10 quality. It looks more like 3/10 I think Tinypic recompresses the image if the filesize or dimensions are too large. Try posting the screenshots as 2 separate images? 1200 pixels wide or so should be plenty I think.