putting down the mouse
polycounter lvl 18
I'm officially putting down the mouse for a while, for some reason I thought it was a good idea to put my life on hold while I try and get a nice portfolio together.
My dad came down with a strange sickness shortly after I graduated from college. It turned out to be pancreatic cancer and he died about 14 months later.
I only realized this morning that there was a dividing line in my life where art was fun and flowed through me to now where at best opening maya or photoshop induces mild stomach cramps to anxiety attacks at worse.
I guess I'm posting this because I have trouble talking to people, in person or on im. Maybe I'm posting to make it official, I tried working on some textures today despite my decision and the familiar dread flowed over me. Maybe it's an apology to everyone who's been helping me and encouraging me for the last 3 years.
I'm going to get help and turn my life around and hopefully I'll make a comeback down the road.
My dad came down with a strange sickness shortly after I graduated from college. It turned out to be pancreatic cancer and he died about 14 months later.
I only realized this morning that there was a dividing line in my life where art was fun and flowed through me to now where at best opening maya or photoshop induces mild stomach cramps to anxiety attacks at worse.
I guess I'm posting this because I have trouble talking to people, in person or on im. Maybe I'm posting to make it official, I tried working on some textures today despite my decision and the familiar dread flowed over me. Maybe it's an apology to everyone who's been helping me and encouraging me for the last 3 years.
I'm going to get help and turn my life around and hopefully I'll make a comeback down the road.
Replies
you can't just sit there for ages, doing nothing than 3d. that's the best way to burn out really fast. even worse: surround yourself mostly with videogame-freaks, play games all the time and on top of that use them as your main source of inspiration.
if you want to do this for a living and for longer than one product-cycle, you should make sure to stay fresh and motivated - by pursuing other interests that do not require a computer nearby, for example.
ohn, and do sports regularly or your health will suffer inevitably (eye sight, carpal tunnel, etc). not to mention that you'll start to grow posable breasts
you know, everone who posts one of these "i'm out"-open letters is guaranteed to resurface within weeks anyway. take the time and get your life back on track.
However, going on a break from anything computer related for a few months can also be extremely helpful, especially if you have been spending far too much time on it lately. So, go get some perspective on your life, maybe travel a little, relax, and have some fun.
Do what you will, I should probably go and GET a life.
I think it is a good idea to lay it down for a while until you personally feel it is what you wan't to invest time in.
You will have enough time then to increase your awareness for yourself and the happenings around you and moments like the morning where you decided to do this will come more often. Moveing outwards is an interesting journey.
My view on my own mortality took a swift hit when my dad died 4 days after my 20th birthday. I serriously evaluated what I was doing with my time and how I spent it. I'm pretty sure that's normal? I know art has changed for me over the years but I always come back to it wishing I had never taken a break. Which is silly because I feel like I have to step away from it to get a fresh grasp on it.
Anywho... I hope you find a way to unwind (you sound pretty tense) and find the pleasure of art, life ect.
Thomas is right allthough he layed it down quite agressivly
[/ QUOTE ]
yeah i know i am not a born diplomat.
i've been in the same situation though and know that you can't take that stuff too lightly. it's just meant as a wake-up call.
i've seen quite a few who made it into the biz and came out totally
If working in games has taught me anything it's that there are 'many many many' reasons why an artist gets passed up for a job. Most of the reasons are completeky out of the artists' hands. IMHO most hiring managers don't even know what they need.
base your confidence on something that is real, and sustainable. I think it's good to unplug for a while, and while you do it be sure to find out what makes you feel worth your own weight in spit. it made a huge diff to my life when I did that.
-R
1. Fix your god damn life. make some friends. Have some fun.
2. Don't drink TOO much, it doesnt help. Beleve me.
3. 3D modeling is somthing that stays with you, like riding a bike. You can come back to it, and I have seen some of your stuff, and you are very talented.
4. In the end, it is your decision, and nothing I can say can change it. Just know that I am going thru some rough times, and I needed somone to talk to. I am here for you, (in AUSTRALIA anyway) anytime you need. Send me a PM if need be, and call whenever. It may be the middle of the night where I am, i dont give a fuck.
5. Dont think twice about what you are going to do, and have confidence in your decisions. Noone knows yourself better than you do.
you may find ists not really the 3d stuff that is making you anxious, but that you just need to get your head together a bit.
I am actually lucky in that i am composed entirely from pure stress energy and therefore am immune from these things.
I also placed an order for "Getting Things Done" I'll see if that can help me quantitize and manage everything.