Is your town a chav town?
polycounter lvl 18
howdy guys
heres one for you brits amoungst us,though im sure evryone else would get afew laughs from it.
we all know about "chavs" right?,ya know the pricks taht go round betending to be evrything they are not,hard,bling-bling,ya know the cowboy builder types.
Anyway great website here:- http://www.chavtowns.co.uk
Has your Home town turned into a ChavTown?
Heres all the places taht I can really relate to....and I should say for those of you that havent met me,these descriptions of the areas I live in have no reflection upon myself.....HONEST!
http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1038 (my Home Village,I can relate to evrything there,though today myself and my supervisor spent the best part of an hour taking the piss out of how someone could possibly get mugged down an alley IN CHINNOR!!....surily surily not.
http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=876 (If Im not in Chinnor this is where id be,proberly drinking with mates, again can indeed relate to everything said,but they never mentioned the kebab van which ursally draws the chavs in like bees to honey...hmmm)
http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=746 (and finally this is a town about 10miles away witch I visit pretty regularly,go shopping there and go to church there)
Is nowhere safe of the chav invasion
John
heres one for you brits amoungst us,though im sure evryone else would get afew laughs from it.
we all know about "chavs" right?,ya know the pricks taht go round betending to be evrything they are not,hard,bling-bling,ya know the cowboy builder types.
Anyway great website here:- http://www.chavtowns.co.uk
Has your Home town turned into a ChavTown?
Heres all the places taht I can really relate to....and I should say for those of you that havent met me,these descriptions of the areas I live in have no reflection upon myself.....HONEST!
http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1038 (my Home Village,I can relate to evrything there,though today myself and my supervisor spent the best part of an hour taking the piss out of how someone could possibly get mugged down an alley IN CHINNOR!!....surily surily not.
http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=876 (If Im not in Chinnor this is where id be,proberly drinking with mates, again can indeed relate to everything said,but they never mentioned the kebab van which ursally draws the chavs in like bees to honey...hmmm)
http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=746 (and finally this is a town about 10miles away witch I visit pretty regularly,go shopping there and go to church there)
Is nowhere safe of the chav invasion
John
Replies
Read all about it.
A very appealing place ya have there,I can see why ya going to Canada now!
Joihn
The word "chavalanche" fits perfectly.
One would also see these fine burberry kitted denizens at the post office que, cashing thier "chavellers cheques".
watch Devvo! (hes drunk/high a few times, curses a lot, and isnt the nicest guy around; just a heads up)
would AliG be considered a chav?
Im not sure, although he shares some obvious traits with them, calling AliG a chav doesn't feel right to me. I think of Chav's exclusively as spotty little white oiks. AliG is more of a wannabe gangsta, but I dunno what you'd call that in the UK. I'm so out of touch with the place after 5 years away!
the problem with york is this : contrary to popular myth, it's got some of THE roughest areas this side of hades. Chapeltown in Leeds? It's got nothing on Foxwood. But they, in themselves, aren't the problem.
Right bang slap next to these dog-rough areas are nice middle class houses with nice middle class families ... each with a pair of formative cunt children.
y'see, the knacker kids growing up in Foxwood/Acomb/Clifton know what happens when they shout or spit at a stranger on the street, or have a go at their parents. They get the same right back on them, probably doubled for good measure.
But the kids near me, the bastard little middle-class fuckers with the money for expensive clothes and brand new FUCKING SCOOTERS WITH HOLES DRILLED IN THE EXHAUSTS, and each with a "we're nothern and we're going to act like it" chip on their shoulders, get no comeback from their parents. The parents are far too busy organising street parties or buying planters to even dream that little Michael is throwing half full cans of Pepsi at passers by, or pissing on the window of the expensive restaurant on the corner, or sitting on his brand new BMX, in the road, SIDEWAYS. Man, these little cunts ... jesus ... all of them throwing away the services of the good school round the back of here, each one speaking like they don't have the benefit of lips and jaws. Of course, speaking with the natural diction granted to the human race by evolution isn't "hard", it isn't "street". Its what the southern posh people who came up for Ascot do. The "real kids", the ones from the Rock-Hard North speak like retarded jellyfish, yeah man, that's where it goes down. On the street. Living life in the northern ghetto ... except for the "ghetto", read £180,000 terrace houses with loft conversions and plasma screen tellys.
Fuckin' ignorance and rotten attitudes as a fashion. Jesus. Y'know it's great. We live in a world where the current craze amongst the youth isn't for yo-yos or Playstations or clackers ... it's to be ugly and stupid. Just what we fucking need to move on as a species.
Grew up in Tonbridge/Tunbridge Wells, and my parents are still there:
http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=478
http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=533
http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=962
I have since moved to Bristol
http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1103
http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=860
http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=630
http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1597
Now, take into account the fact that at the moment, I have blue hair and black nail polish... well, I suppose you can guuss from my avatar. Saturday nights out are FUN. Though quite why people would think it's a good idea to start on someone who is more sober and would be kicking out with these on their feet boggles me
http://www.cloggs.co.uk/invt/215
As for the moped thing! I can't believe that they haven't managed to kill the whole chav generation off. Little hint, wearing just a helmet isn't going to save you when you come off that thing at 40mph. What you will end up as is looking like a lolly-pop with a gristle stick.
Mini-motos and go-peds, too. These are illegal to ride on the road, but also on any public pathway or park. Doesn't stop them using Bristol wonderful cycle network as a personal racetrack.
Excuse me, I think I need to get somewhere high. Now, where did I put that PSG-1?
HAHA, thats pretty much the next street along that isn't a my street (my area)
Bramley Park is my local park (I live in Bramley), and I walk over that to go to my best mates..
[Edit]Chapeltown is a ghetto hole.. Science from BigBro is from Chapeltown and even he refers to is as the ghetto
lol the things you learn, well i definatly live in a chav town, Houston Texas,i went to high schools with many of these posers,they would sport gold,platinum and would try gangstas despite the fact they came from rich,affluent and white neighborhoods. in art school too, once met a white guy who spoke like this "yeah yeah dog wuz up?? thats just phat" well one day he recieved a phone call from his mother and went from speaking like that to "hi mom,yes recieved the cookies,yes mom,yes mom,i love you too" christ why people put up acts like that is beyond me.
Its all down the groups too.. they're rarely alone.
I need to wear three pairs of socks with them, though. Still being 'broken in', and I have had that pair for a year. The boots demand blood. Respect the boot.
My girlfriend has the same boots, and wears them all the time.
I thought scottish chavs in general were known as neds (non-educated-delinquents..) never heard of 'gadgies' - except in newcastle which refers more to an old bastard i think.. Geordie chavs are known as charvers, where I grew up anyway. and possibly 'scallies' or 'blurts' in liverpool I was once informed.
I wonder how many different words there are for the same thing.. like the inuit and their words for snow
They will always be charvers to me! I used to sit next to one in school. He said "arvenar" on a regular basis. After translation, it comes out as "I don't know".
I remember one guy who's hobby it was to punch windows and show off his lascerated hands to the chavettes and his mates. sad thing is the guy was clever, really good with maths.. but he couldnt admit that to his friends so he did stupid stuff like that, and went to join the army so he could shoot stuff.
If you did, then you are the first Geordie I know that did
r.
john
something that confuses me about these people - not being able to talk properly is one thing, but it's also not being able to see. I mean, how can someone spend hours in front of a mirror making themselves look that bad and then go "yeah, that's the look i'm after".
Like separating their fringes into little spikes, and plastering them down with wet-look gel in order to simulate having a really greasy forehead. "Hmmmm, my skin's excreting adolescent fluids, the girls are gonna love that. To set it off, i'll tip my cuntish cap back by 45 degrees so they can get a really good look at how slimy my head is. I'll also determinedly let my mouth hang perpetually open, so my fish lips will look even more dribbly. Mmmmm, sex god. And - the coup de grace - i'll tuck my tracksuit trousers into my socks! Wow, make way for the new Adonis, cower before my towering charisma."
didn't the ugly, greasy, dribbly kids at school use to get bullied and beaten up for it? If they didn't, they certainly would if they tucked their trousers into their socks before riding their bike. Has there been some sort of very subtle, gradual revolution going on?
I'm guessing that all those cheap signet rings and slime will weigh them down, and i'll be able to run faster than them. When i catch them, it'll be a show worth seeing. I've got no qualms about stamping hard on the ankle of a stranger that does something like that to me.
"they often attack a sitting target from what i've heard, usually at bus-stops."
in texas that will get you shot
Ive never exsperienced it,don't know anyone that has either.
Nearest thing ive done that came close was when i was at my mates free house,this girl we all work with came to visit and she was already pretty drunk. Not only taht it was afew weeks ago during the english heat wave and she was as red as a plum from sunburn.
Drunk + Sunburn = irrisistable..... a group of us proceeded to line up and slap her on the top of her sunburnt back one by one while the rest filmed it on there camera phones.
Harsh I know....but next time I saw her she coudln't remember what happened that night. Oviously none of us have shown her the footage as shed get her girlfriends on us and have us line up and they film while she kicks our balls in.
john
Unfortunatly i call that shit hole my home town, the first comment says it all really. We only really have one night club in Gosport which i frequented for the first time only a month or so ago but thankfully having survived that experience i am ready to teach Carmack about the look of Doom 4.
I used to work in the building next door to the McD's.
EDIT: I just read through the whole thing and they actually mentioned where I used to work: RB's hehe. What a dump.
However I remain chavless.
Wikkid innit!