Some smaller studies of various images in my reference-folder. My workflow is in a big need of change as I've realized a lot of my work-process is just me noodling for hours on end, blending back and forth. These are part of the steps taken to change that.
Trying to apply what I have learned recently into some smaller illustrations. I feel like I have become a lot looser and relaxed. Bit by bit the constant performance anxiety and crushing hopelesness of maybe not making this into a career is dissipating.
This one was made on an iPad. Scary stuff working on such a small screen.
Mentorship is taking up most of my creative time but that don't mean I ain't keeping on with the side-grinding. Here's a mix of both.
Been starting to paint really small. A bad habit I've aquired over all these years is getting into details way too quickly. So I was told to solve big problems first before tackling smaller ones and that's what I'll be doing for a while.
Burnt out hard last autumn, burnt out this summer. Feels like I'm climbing a neverending mountain to a goal I will never reach. This year has been slow, but I keep practicing between spurts of energy. Wish I could show more original works but I cant seem to be pleased with anything I do, its definitely not up to par with the studies I make, no matter how much reference I use.
Another update. I don't know why I'm continuing this thread as I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'll never become a commercial artist. Not a cry for pity but just the reality that's come with not being interested in the work offered in the entertainment-sphere, caution around AI, disinterest in NFTs and dread around drawing fanart of the local twitter pop-culture of the day and worsening chronic mental illness that require more stable routines in my life.ย
Slowly I've veered off comparisons to industry-standard and am a lot more interested in wanting to convey what's in my head to the best of my ability. I still get the odd commission here and there, my work and skill doesn't pull in any consistent customers but frankly, I really do not care anymore. I'm nearing 30, which is not old by any means but close enough to get stuck in commitments that can trap me in regret later in life. Not intending to save up for a future of happiness where my body and mind no longer can keep up with what happiness is to me now. Maybe the industry will change, maybe I will change, maybe I will get an opportunity I never knew existed and my skills will be on par with what's required. Two of the concept artists/illustrators I've studied under only found success they never intended for in their 40s. Or maybe any evidence of me ever putting pencil to paper will be in the footnotes of polycount.
Nevertheless, with mods permission, I'm gonna continue the thread because it's a time capsule I love going back to. Journaling my struggles and feelings like this "publicly" is weird but so interesting to look back on. I still love Game Art, concept art, drawing and painting. But for now, my intentions with it have changed.
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Two paintings for y'all! Most focus is going into my mentorship right now so original output is a bit slower.
Here are a couple of tidbits from the mentorship:
Some smaller studies of various images in my reference-folder. My workflow is in a big need of change as I've realized a lot of my work-process is just me noodling for hours on end, blending back and forth. These are part of the steps taken to change that.
This one was made on an iPad. Scary stuff working on such a small screen.
Been starting to paint really small. A bad habit I've aquired over all these years is getting into details way too quickly. So I was told to solve big problems first before tackling smaller ones and that's what I'll be doing for a while.
A pair of small Jakub Rozalski studies, trying to breakdown his process, brushwork and workflow.
And a sketch that applied it! Also tried some new ways of using reference. I've always been bad at it unless Im doing a study.
First off: some sketches and studies!
And then finally: A bigger piece Im working on.
Burnt out hard last autumn, burnt out this summer. Feels like I'm climbing a neverending mountain to a goal I will never reach. This year has been slow, but I keep practicing between spurts of energy. Wish I could show more original works but I cant seem to be pleased with anything I do, its definitely not up to par with the studies I make, no matter how much reference I use.
Anywho, enough sadposting. Here you go!
Practicing my drawing. All of these were done over the course of these past 3 weeks.
Congrats!
Your drawing/painting has come a long way since you'd opened this thread ๐๏ธ
Thank you so much! I sometimes lose perspective of what a journey it's been, but it has been a few years, hasn't it?
I just realized the more recent we get, the more we're getting into edgy and horror territory. Is this my artistic emo-phase?
Slowly I've veered off comparisons to industry-standard and am a lot more interested in wanting to convey what's in my head to the best of my ability. I still get the odd commission here and there, my work and skill doesn't pull in any consistent customers but frankly, I really do not care anymore. I'm nearing 30, which is not old by any means but close enough to get stuck in commitments that can trap me in regret later in life. Not intending to save up for a future of happiness where my body and mind no longer can keep up with what happiness is to me now.
Maybe the industry will change, maybe I will change, maybe I will get an opportunity I never knew existed and my skills will be on par with what's required. Two of the concept artists/illustrators I've studied under only found success they never intended for in their 40s. Or maybe any evidence of me ever putting pencil to paper will be in the footnotes of polycount.
Nevertheless, with mods permission, I'm gonna continue the thread because it's a time capsule I love going back to. Journaling my struggles and feelings like this "publicly" is weird but so interesting to look back on. I still love Game Art, concept art, drawing and painting. But for now, my intentions with it have changed.