The Make It Better Project
http://makeitbetterproject.com
*****WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT?******
From Dan's column about Billy Lucas:
"Billy Lucas was just 15 when he hanged himself in a barn on his grandmother's property. He reportedly endured intense bullying at the hands of his classmatesclassmates who called him a fag and told him to kill himself. His mother found his body.... I wish I could have talked to this kid for five minutes. I wish I could have told Billy that it gets better. I wish I could have told him that, however bad things were, however isolated and alone he was, it gets better.
"But gay adults aren't allowed to talk to these kids. Schools and churches don't bring us in to talk to teenagers who are being bullied. Many of these kids have homophobic parents who believe that they can prevent their gay children from growing up to be gayor from ever coming outby depriving them of information, resources, and positive role models.
"Why are we waiting for permission to talk to these kids? We have the ability to talk directly to them right now. We don't have to wait for permission to let them know that it gets better. We can reach these kids."
Read Dan's entire column here:
http://tinyurl.com/3xmu4le
Replies
It's shameful to live in a world where something as harmless as homosexuality can lead to suicide and murder. But as time passes, acceptance will eventually be more spread than fear.
For the moment I'm glad I live in a country that accepts homosexuality. While not treated 100% equal to straight people (there are still issues with giving blood for instance) it's still moving forward and from what I've seen it won't be long before everyone is treated the same.
I may not be gay myself, but many of my friends are gay and it breaks my heart to see how they can't be themselves because of fear of others. I hope recent events will be the final push towards full acceptance. Some countries have already started, it's about time the rest follow suit.
http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/10/04/youth.cyberbullying.abuse/index.html?hpt=C1
good on you to aid them with this, Ben. hopefully this kind of shit stops soon.
It's sad that the message has to be "it gets better, you just need to endure a little longer" why should anyone be forced to endure that BS?
Respect.
2nded
As a side question, if you don't mind, where were you from in VA?
Richmond.
Just thinking out loud, you didn't ever consider ending your video, straight faced with 'I'm Ben Mathis, of POOP IN MY MOUTH DOT COM.'
Sorry, not a thread for jokes..
edit: where did you record it by the way, It looked so well done I thought it might have been done by the project!
Hah, well the project is just a thought exercise by Dan Savage, there is no organization or money or studio. It was actually my first time recording video. I borrowed a friend's canon 7D, stuck my 85mm 1.8, and used my studio flashes modeling lights into a small silver umbrella for the main light, and a gridded reflector for the hair/edge light. I had to have my husband prefocus it, and then try to guess if I was in the frame and in focus (which is why there are many times I am neither).
Glad it's garnering such a positive response, I wish I could have seen something like this a long time ago, and hopefully with all these messages out on the "tubes" it will be viewed by those who need it most. Like someone said, it's a shame it's needed at all.
https://secure.aclu.org/site/Advocacy?pagename=homepage&id=1937&page=UserAction
More power to ya!
but thats because some aids guy hung around in my house because of my aunt, and stole our spirits and cloths and a bike
even thouh he was just a rotten to the core asshole, he completely ruined my sight of gay people and i think i cannot get healed from that fear, i even developped a ablutomania, and some other irrational phobias because of that guy
so if you are gay and hang around munich and see someone passing out, its probably me getting a anxiety attack.
If your born you already had enough power to win among 1000 other sperm... so if you think you can't do anything, you need to gain some confidence...
I have been through something similar, racism is HUGE in north america, especially in Canada.. so it wasn't easy to fit in, but if someone made fun of me, I did the same back, usually out smarting them and stopping them from any further comebacks, I learned this after all the abuse... can't just stand there in a group of "friends" and take the abuse, this is how I became more confident..
Iunno just my thoughts..
also if your gay, try not to flaunt it... our world isn't going to accept it in a second... it has taken years to get this far, and will take a few more till it becomes "normal"
salute poop
I don't really understand why some people are the way they are about these kinds of things. It's never made sense to me, not even when I was a child. And it's childish. It's childish to hate or hurt someone for what they are, and who they love. It's not right, and it never will be in any light.
Props to Mr.Mathis, and I hope everything gets better.
For everyone.
Awesome work again Ben, you get +1 mill to your epic meter.
One of my best friends had a friend of his commit suicide, no body suspected it, those are the people that suffer the most and are most likely to do it. I don't care if your gay/straight/fat/skinny/tall/short/rehead/blond/Jewish/Muslim/black/white etc etc, any kid can be bullied and all high school bullying should be taken seriously.
Nice post Ben, very responsible of you.
My brother didn't come out til after highschool, so he didn't have to deal with this, but we both went to a religious high school and another of his friends DID come out while still there. It was a pretty big deal for him, he even went so far as to get up on the cafeteria table one day and shout, "I'M GAY!!" for as many people to hear him as possible. I believe he wanted people to stop keeping their heads in the sand that 'one of them' could be 'this way'.
Sad thing is, a couple years later one of my biggoted teachers brought up this guy specifically in class, and not in a very nice way (I was a couple grades behind). Imagine that, having to deal with hate from your classmates AND the teachers...
What I find interesting is that high-school seems to be the cut-off point. Like before it you're not accepted, and after it things get better. Gotta wonder why that is. But what I'm curious about is if, from a bullied minority's perspective, the It Gets Better message applies to the people outside of that minority group?
It seems like it gets better in the sense that you find other similar people to be with. Like if you're gay, you find other gay people. But what about the non-gay people? Do you find that they're more tolerant after highschool compared to before?
And I also wonder if that change is because of the age of people in highschool, or society in general changing? For some of us it's been 15 years or more since highschool. Maybe society has changed since then. But it could just be an age thing.
I think it is mostly because in school you have no choice but to be around your classmates. So if you don't fit in for any reason your life sucks.
But in adult life you can leave the jerks behind and go find some people you do fit in with.
I almost cried laughing. j/k, I cried.
This. Kudos for making the video, I'm not gay but I've been bullied plenty at school so I know how it is, although admitedly on a smaller scale.