Shafted

Leto

Hey guys,
Anyone care to crit me on my new sculpt? Any and all feedback is welcome. Thanks in advance.

Paul Pepera

The pose seems overly dramatic and artificial. Her hair and those front straps are flapping around yet her skirt is perfectly still? Maybe if she was wearing armor instead of a two-peice and a garter belt she would have been more protected against incoming arrows?

Dan!

looks great, lots of motion. The boots feel deflated at the bend as if the are empty boots with no foot in them. The hands seem to be gripping oddly with the thumb underneath the fingers on the arrow and the thumb not bent over the fingers on the knife hand.

Leto

great comments, thanks guys! more more!

Butthair

Those flaps are a bit dramatized, but they give a nice touch to balance how the hair is going. It may not be right, but I can dig it.

I think you should loosen her grip on her blade, might help give a little more oomph to the sudden pierce of the arrow. Like it's dropping out of her hand a bit, maybe?

Neox

nice work so far!
one thing you mght want to add is the hole that arrow makes, the tip is wider than the shaft so there must be some wound.

almighty_gir

the arrow is in the wrong place?

slipsius

I would push the pose a little more. her upper body is twisting a bit back to the left, but i would push that even further and make her lean back even more. And id move the arrow a little more over to her left, closer to her heart. right in the center is kinda boring and weird looking.

Seirei

Well atleast it isn't the knee. ^^

I like the action in the scene here.

Bertil

I think you should move the arrow a bit to the side. It seems to perfect having the arrow in the center, kinda like someone placed it there rather than shot her.

Ahrkey

Really loving the drama in this. Allthough I feel her right hand/arm somewhat odd. To me it looks like a painful and unnatural twist.
If she even should grab it. I mean... getting hit by an arrow... TO THE CHEST and still managing to hold on to the dagger and also grab the arrow likely to cause even more pain.
Also you gotta have ninja-reflexes to get your hand up there so fast.

I'd keep the dagger in the left hand and adjust the right arm to perhaps tell something more about what she was doing the moment she got shot. Perhaps trying to fend some melee away or... grab something... or someone...

whats_true

Her pose is all wrong for someone getting shot with a arrow that big. a force that hits you in the front, would contort the body the opposite direction, bending you forward rather then backwards. Shes kneeling down too, makeing it even more unbelivable that she would get shot in such a position.
Also, all that movement makes no sense to me. The hair, the clothing. She would have to have landed from a very high point in the air for it to go that high in the air. As it looks, shes kneeling down.

Everything combined, it looks like your not using reference for this, cause the movement, the pose, the stance, dont match up to whats happening.

Snader

I think you should either have her crouching forward, or toppling over backward, like this guy:
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GfziEThFes"]Sonny bill big hit - YouTube[/ame]

Right now you have two opposite movements.

S_ource

Looks good, but i think it would be more scratch rather than a hole where the arrow goes in, dont ask me how it would look, and i dont want to know.

Leto

Thank you everyone who took the time to provide feedback!

@pepera: I tend towards melodrama in my work, so that is intentional. However, you correct about the relative lifelessness of her skirt, and I am going to fix that. Thanks! As for the (lack of) armor, ha, yeah, well I need to practice my anatomy so..

@dan!: Totally correct about the boots, those were bothering me as well. You are right about the hands as well, thanks.

@butthair: Yeah, if I can get the loops to behave I will try to start that hand over in an open state so she is dropping the blade. Thanks!

@neox: agree that hole must exist.

@gir/slipsius/bertil/s_ource: will move the arrow as suggested and create a hole; however, i used to have her leaning back farther and this version feels more balanced. thanks guys.

@ahrkey: totally valid point about getting the arm up that fast. i like your idea of moving her arm out in a defensive gesture. it adds story and might make the pose more dynamic. thanks a lot!

@whats_true/snader: whats_true: i was using boromir's death scene as a rough reference. the shots are not cut the best, but in them what you desribe as the backward momentum push is immediately followed by a reversed spasm of the body where the chest comes up and the head back. it may be that they took some artistic liberty there, but it provides the appropriately dramatic feeling that i was looking for. a backwards flying body becomes a faceless corpse, and i wanted to express anguish, the character's pain, with this pose. so i probably won't change the pose at this point but your comment was still good food for thought, so thank you.

Thanks again everyone. As I am a total attention whore, your commenting on my work is, like, totally appreciated!

Orangeknight

I feel like maybe she should have a shield up for blocking before she got hit, also maybe the arrow comes in from a angle. Because she would have probably have seen a archer in front of her so a arrow from a archer farther to one side makes more sense.

almighty_gir

Snader wrote: »

I think you should either have her crouching forward, or toppling over backward, like this guy:
Sonny bill big hit - YouTube

Right now you have two opposite movements.

notice the moment of impact there though, where the head and feet snap forward as the body is pushed back.

edit:
watch the boromir scene again, and look how his body reacts to the impact. it's very similar to the rugby video.

Leto

I have a random technical question for you guys, actually. Recently this file started behaving strangely: Everytime I hit undo, i enter Mask mode, so that my next stroke ends up being a mask draw instead of a normal one. Hitting space puts me back in normal draw mode. It has made working on this file very annoying and difficult. The only thing I can think of is that it is a memory issue. Has anyone else experienced this?

Leto

Moved right arm, added shield, arrows
Moved main arrow to left breast
Boot foot polish
Added movement in skirt

almighty_gir

the arrow should be in her left shoulder for the angle on her body.

Leto

Moved breastplates inward
Replaced pouches with belt
Redid leather straps
Edits to brow and lips
Added teeth