i was hoping to post good news today...
ngon master
let me start by saying, i'm aware that "polycount is not your blog". however i do have art concerns too.
when i went to the last polycount meeting, i told the guys my girlfriend and i were expecting... it was still early days, but damn i as excited! it was my first child (technically... she already has 3, i count them as "mine") and so naturally i was both nervous and excited.
we had our first scan today, and it revealed that my girlfriend is currently undergoing a miscarriage... and i've spent most of the day in tatters. this really fucking sucks. i honestly don't know how to find words to describe it, and god forbid anyone here has been through this... i would love some help in finding a light to hold onto.
it's also led me to question a lot of things about myself. pretty much boiling down to "what the fuck am i doing with my life?!" i left a career in retail, which although i was successful in i really didn't enjoy. to persue a career in games development and art.
that was 3 1/2 years ago, and i honestly don't know where i stand with regards to my progress, or my future prospects within the industry... and to top it all off, THIS happened. it feels like it's my lot in life to just fuck up.
sad fucking panda...
thanks for reading.
when i went to the last polycount meeting, i told the guys my girlfriend and i were expecting... it was still early days, but damn i as excited! it was my first child (technically... she already has 3, i count them as "mine") and so naturally i was both nervous and excited.
we had our first scan today, and it revealed that my girlfriend is currently undergoing a miscarriage... and i've spent most of the day in tatters. this really fucking sucks. i honestly don't know how to find words to describe it, and god forbid anyone here has been through this... i would love some help in finding a light to hold onto.
it's also led me to question a lot of things about myself. pretty much boiling down to "what the fuck am i doing with my life?!" i left a career in retail, which although i was successful in i really didn't enjoy. to persue a career in games development and art.
that was 3 1/2 years ago, and i honestly don't know where i stand with regards to my progress, or my future prospects within the industry... and to top it all off, THIS happened. it feels like it's my lot in life to just fuck up.
sad fucking panda...
thanks for reading.
Replies
Cheer up dude
Good luck.
Keep at it! I'm a former retailer too and I dropped everything to do what we love to do. YOU KEEP AT IT YA HEAR? OTHERWISE YOU'RE GONNA BE HEARING FROM ME (angry phonecalls)
Don't give up on the family either. My mother had quite a few miscarriages before I was conceived, they had to sew me into her womb while I was in there and then when it was time for me to head out the doctor had to unstitch it so I could be brought into this world. We are the lucky ones, and you will have a lucky one I'm sure
I don't share that with a lot of people (until now I suppose lol) but hopefully it will make you feel the least bit better :]
I know this won't make you happier, but maybe, just maybe a small reading on things to be prepared on is a good idea to get on incase your lady needs you.
http://beyondjane.com/family/motherhood/what-to-do-when-youre-having-a-miscarriage/3/
I wish I could do more, but I don't know how to, just hang in there, and don't regret anything in life. Stuff happens, it will make your stronger, it might sound all bollocks to your right now, but just remember, if you need an ear, we're here.
I wish I had something profound or comforting to say..
However, the others are right. No reason to put your art and choice of career in question. When we're feeling bad, we tend to put everything we're stressed about in a bad light. Your art keeps getting better and better, man. Keep at it, and a job will come. But for now, put that aside and just worry about you and your girlfriend.
best wishes to you both
Grieve as much as you need to heal. Find that light in your life again. I'm sure this artform is a part of it, just as your lady is. You guys will be ok in time, and yes, try try again.
FWIW I'm the only child my mother ever brought to term out of 4 or 5 pregnancies that I know about.
but this is overwhelming... over the last few years, due to not working, and spending all my time looking after the kids i've lost touch with a lot of friends and had pretty much no social life. so when you guys rally around me like this, it feels amazing. i've gotten some lovely PM's from people, and the posts here are great.
it's hard... my girlfriend and i are grieving together. but we've already decided to try again. my only concern right now is to make sure she is healthy.
thanks so much everyone!
My parents had a chance about 5% to get kids and you know what?I´m here nontheless spitting on percentages.
I hope you and your family get over it fast, this would be better for your kids too
Sorry to hear that bro...I honestly have no words to sympathize with your situation but I assure you that many of us are good listeners and will support you.
I pray, that everything goes back to normal for you.
with love
[ame]
that's lovely.
I hope you get through ok.
I know you left a career you hated for one you loved and have stumbled some in that way, but I wouldn't suggest going back. Life is too short to be working a job you hate. Do what you love and be happy, even though it's hard at times.
I left the industry in 2006 because the studio I was at was sinking. I spent two and a half years scripting slot machine games and making no art at all. I was great at it but I had never been so miserable, despite my prosperity. In 2008 I left and took a contract job at Microsoft, working on Forza and moved to Redmond, outside of Seattle. I was happy again. After my 1yr contract ended, the economy collapsed and I was unemployed for 10 months and nearly filed bankruptcy. I got another 1yr contract which ended and now I've been unemployed again for 3 months, can't pay all my bills and have threats of litigation from creditors. It's a shitty situation that I need a job to fix, so I'm applying and waiting.
With as crap as this situation is though, I'm happy, believe it or not. I'd rather be where I am now than back at IGT, scripting slot machines. You have to do what makes you happy, regardless of the hardships you face along the way. Otherwise, what's the point of it all?
I'm glad to hear that you and the girlfriend are trying again though, I hope mother and child are healthy this time around.
Jobs are pretty rough these days. Just keep at it and something will break.
I'm pulling for you, your girlfriend, and a gig for you.