I just wanted ask the community here if they know of or have used any skill building exercises for 3D art that provide quick and tangible results for those that are hopelessly impulsive and must see quick results to feel engaged.
You see, I have ADHD and anxiety. This makes it hard for me to invest myself in my work if it doesn't give me something that spurs me on. I end up paralyzed by the fear of failure and indecision due to a lack of experience/knowledge. It also makes me impatient.
Those of you whom have seen my barrel thread have commented on the amount of dedication and effort I put into improving my skill in 3D art. It really fed my desire to do more and better. But my focus is a fickle mistress and I need something that will last with me after the feedback fades and it's time to move to a new project.
So if any of you other artists out there have ADHD, you know what I'm talking about. Please share with me how you deal with it and how you made yourself better at your art.
Replies
Doesnt even need to be anyhting art related, example:
this morning i went for a run at 6:30, paid my rent and bills around 8, did household work until 11 and then got down to business on my contracts. Once i've accomplished a few tasks early on in the day, it helps fuel me for more creative tasks that need to be done
I find putting a film or tv show, podcast on in the background, something that distracts that part of the brain helps.
Focus on a small part and get that done something that you know can be done, like model or paint an eye, or that grip thing. If you get stuck doing that part then dont worry about it focus on another part.
While I've never been 'officially' diagnosed, I know exactly how you feel (and I don't mean I just get a little bit 'oh i suck' sometimes, I know how hard anxiety can be). Thanks for posting this, will be interesting to see the responses and suggestions.
What I actually found helpful is that in college I split a room with a friend of mine from college. Both being extremely passionate and motivated artists this helped me stay on track more often then when I lived just with other roommates but had my own room. Having another passionate individual in the same room working on his stuff only fueled me to work on my own work and not let myself get distracted.
The same holds true while at work. I generally can work for hours on end without it ever being an issue. I will take breaks now and then to browse Polycount and such but that is more to give my eyes and brain a break from my work to come back fresh.
I know it might not be possible but living with others who are passionate about what you do and are actively doing it will help you stay focus I found. If that is not possible try and take your work on a laptop and go to a public place like a library. It might help force you to be productive when you know people could be watching what your doing at any time.
How fortunate that you were diagnosed so early! I didn't find out that I have ADHD until I was 27. I'm 30 now and I'm just starting to learn how to deal with it. I can't take any meds for it because they all give me unmanageable side effects. I don't like the meds anyway.
I can see some logic in being around others that are doing the same things I do to motivate me. I had that when I was taking classes at Brown College for Game Dev, but I had to drop out due to finances, so you guys are my only contact with other game artists. I'm living in a technologically repressed rural area right now and not many around here do what I do.
I'm actually going to be interview for a retail job at a local computer shop so I hope I will at least be around people that know the difference between a PCI bus and a USB port.
http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/Generation_RX/70120653?trkid=2429428#height2279
ADHD has no real science behind it. Its really just a construct of the pharmaceutical industrial complex.
People have fears, anxiety, and fidget, its a survival mechanism.
I share the same issues as you guys, and I have even considered being diagnosed with ADHD, but literally the cure is worse than the disease.
PS: I agree with Calabi. put on some background noise, and let yourself get lost in the details of your work.
ADHD/ADD (or whatever it is) is pretty much real, but still a complex issue and easily mixed up with other things, considering the little we know of the brain, it's one thing to experience something at some part of your life, it's another thing to have something be so fundamentally a core of your brain that it's completely unconnected from whatever mood you are in, it's always there.
But yeah, the brain is complex, and taking drugs are equivalent to nuking the problem.
There's just something magically weird with having your brain going at 500% and often too fast that you'll never get anything done.
All I can say is, brute force it in whatever way possible, stay with one thing even if there's a thousand other things in your head all wanting attention at that time.
Make a list of small tasks for a current project, it'll help you organize in the way that your brain won't be able to, take it in small steps.
In the end, learn to channel the fact that your brain is everywhere at the same time, it's nice letting go and just read up or watch a ton of different things for creativity, or to just get a ton of different ideas that you can write or sketch down.
What makes somthing effective is a complex issue.
People are in flux, never the same twice.
Your audience, and yourself, are always in a constant state of flux. This is true for all artists. The fact that you have ADHD might actually be a blessing in disguise.
It will FORCE you to find simpler ways of doing things that that facilitate quick iterations. I would, like eld said, embrace this as a strength not a weakness.
The great masters thought LESS, and simply, about the RIGHT things, not more, and complexly, about everything...food for thought.
When working, I have to have a DVD on in the background otherwise I can't concentrate. It also helps me know how long I've been working without constantly checking the clock thinking "have I worked long enough"/"have I done enough" etc...
The other thing I do is break it up into manageable sizes. DVD while working, eat, take the dog out, another DVD while working, hoover, do the washing up, another DVD while working etc... that stops me from getting restless
The most important thing about breaking the day up though is lists. I mean seriously detailed lists.... so instead of "write essay" for example, it becomes write intro, write task one, task two, task three, conclusion, bibliography, print... This way I have a long list but feel like I'm achieving lots of things by being able to tick things off. The list approach is probably the biggest thing that helps me.
Having the windows 7 post-it note program open every time you turn your computer on helps too... I'm constantly typing details, music, lists, films etc and able to organise 'em on my desktop easily
Hope this helps you!
Vicki
when im work in something, I listen to lets play ( game) without looking at video ( or at least make the window small) , or any sound related to lecture like science documentary it helps me to fall into work limbo without even realizing it
my favorite LP-ers is this guy
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4uvyGvIViE&playnext=1&list=PLD8257639FF4AEB0E[/ame]
music can be tricky, because when it change genre or track, it will change your mood.
The psychiatric diagnosis system is notoriously close to pseudoscience. Here is an interesting article about that:
http://www.wired.com/magazine/2010/12/ff_dsmv/all/1
On the other hand I think you showed an impressive amount of improvement which can only be the result of above average dedication and focus. People are not motivated and focused all the time.
if you have trouble keeping on task for large projects, maybe environment work is for you, since when ever things slow down you can move to knocking out a few little detail props, than move back to bigger pieces once you got some of your attention span back.
also BG music, i seriously cant work without it, but keeping in mind the selection of music is just as important as have it on or off. You want to make sure to stay with up beats things, or music you can really zone out too.
good example would be if i had something like Elliott Smith while working on it would prolly result of me getting bored quick of the work. But if i swapped that up with something kinda upbeat like Steely Dan or early Van Morrison i defiantly would be working at a decent pace. So keep that in mind with the music selection, make sure it puts you in the proper mood to work.
I tend to get most motivated about making weapons, props, scene assets, and vehicles. I was recently working on a mage's staff inspired by Dragon Age 2. Hawke's staff tends to bear some melee features that didn't appear in the DA series before and I was attempting to create something that fit in to the game, but I've been stuck. You can see that here: http://www.polycount.com/forum/showthread.php?t=84258
> Set up a task
> Break it down to its components, research tehm extensively if you are not familiar with the process involved
> Estimate the time it would take to achieve the task, in order to stick to it
> Evaluate your skills
> Improve them while achieving the task in the estimated time
> Repeat
I think you're mixing it up with the "hyperactive, kid cant sit still syndrome" or personality, or whatever you want to call it, as mentioned several times: this is much about being easily unfocused, concentration issues, having too many thoughts at the same time, with the biggest solution being keeping lists.
You easily forget the things you listed, but the paper and ink will remember them for you.
Every job is extremely tedious, it doesn't matter if you can move around, it's about learning how to deal with it.
This.yes.
I just used working on films as an example because it's what I know. I never found it to be boring or tedious. Only physically exhausting, and annoying to have to deal with human beings.
I know it sounds rough, but this really is a HUGE part of working around any ailment.
Don't buy into the disability so to say. I can't affect you more than you let it.
In my case, I have genetically terrible muscle balance in my eyes among other things, and as a result I have fits of dyslexia and migraines when I'm tired or stressed. When this actually happens I obviously struggle to do anything other than crash. So to combat this situation, I started to consciously alter my daily habits so that I would not set myself up for this to happen.
For me, that meant reconsidering my whole life outlook in order to avoid stress, and then of course getting on a more consistent sleep schedule. Flash forward to today, and I haven't had a migraine in years, when I used to have them a couple times a week. There was all sorts of medication which I never took because I knew I could work around it, and as a result I know a lot more about myself and much more prepared when feces meets the fan.
For your situation, I would definitely agree with whats been said, and setting up short term goals for you to accomplish with each sitting. This is something that would help anyone keep on task, but may actively combat your particular issue.
As for Autocon's point, about having a roommate beside you to keep the fan to the flame, why not use polycount as your virtual roommate? Post early and often so that there's a little bit of healthy pressure to get things done
oh but how am i supposed to wast time chatting on steam and polycount and watch stupid vids on youtube.............
oh i got where your going.
Silence is great ...
If I don't have other stuff going on in the background, I get bored and look for things to do hahaha!
VLC is great. DVD running on top of all my other windows! \o/ Can't wait till I get another screen one of these days hahaha!
It's one of the weirdest things, having something running in the background: lets plays, podcasts, music, makes me focus much better, coincidently I can't remember a thing of what I actually listened to.
You could say it keeps your mind busy.
I do books on tape sometimes. I find there is little overlap between the art part of my brain and the conscious mind, so the books on tape are great. It depends on the job though. Coding while listening to a book would be impossible.
I find sticking to a plan works a lot. Be visual about it, write it all up in point form and hang it on a wall behind your monitor. Crossing off all the parts. I think that thinking of the project on a whole, it seems daunting. But focusing on one part 100% and no other part (like texturing this guys head and not thinking about how to setup the material in UDK or how the normal will come out or where to post it etc.) will help.
that is all.
Hah, I heard it was good medicine for anything related to children :P
I think we're really shitty at diagnosing mental issues like these, especially since hyperactivity wasn't actually prevalent with adults. I guess most would see it as chronic laziness, since the symptoms are basically that.
Or is it school tiredness. I never could understand while I failed at everything school, but every teacher would say how promising I was, and that I never actually had any problems with anything, maybe I was just lazy?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ADHD_predominantly_inattentive#DSM-IV_criteria
Now I don't have any diagnose, waitinglists are too long, nor do I see it as an excuse for anything, but it's interesting to be able to understand how one works, especially since things aren't just solved like trying to tell a chronic depressive person that he is just having a bad day and should cheer up.
That whole wiki article describes me to a T. I have issues with organizing thoughts while working on tasks (working memory). When I underwent the battery of tests four years ago, I had immense difficulty taking a random group of letters and numbers and try to reorganize them in order into separate groups. I'd forget most of the letters and numbers spoken to me and would even add in something that wasn't given to me. I also can't sit still when I'm bored. I'll bounce my knee, rock in my chair, or swivel around if I'm not engaged. You can be talking directly to me and I can miss everything you say. In school I was always loosing my schoolwork, pens, pencils, you name it. I couldn't keep track of what work I was assigned nor when it was due. Every conference the teachers told my mother that I was a "bright kid, but he just doesn't apply himself". And the whole "you're irresponsible", "you're immature", "you're lazy", "you don't care/show any effort", "you just aren't trying" mantra, that was my whole childhood, including some physical and verbal abuse from my ham-fisted father.
My ADHD symptoms would be considered "severe". As they greatly interfere with my ability to get anything done. Compounded with anxiety, performing any cognitive tasks are difficult for me. I'm afraid of failure, so I get stuck in a constant cycle of procrastination. This is frustrating for me, because despite my symptoms, I actually have an above average IQ. In fact, when I underwent testing, my scores on logical reasoning were higher than my therapist had ever seen (yay me! ). Which is why, when I write, my thoughts and well-structured, well-reasoned, and eloquent. If you were to speak to me live, I'd be a jumble of stuttering mixed words and half completed thoughts.
haha, well there's certainly an element of truth to it. i'm sure that people do genuinely suffer from an inability to focus, however i'm also sure that this stems from upbringing and self discipline more than actual medical reasons.
ANY child will lose interest in a subject quickly, it happens, it's just the way life is. and so many times i hear my girlfriends friend bitching on about how she thinks her kid has ADHD. but unfortunately i'm too polite (read: i enjoy sex with my girlfriend too much to piss her friend off) to tell her "no, you just need to put your foot down, and tell him to shut the fuck up". kids nowadays literally run wild when compared to my generation, it's insane! and to top it off, doctors freely diagnose them with ADHD?
this is going to come off as sort of a ramble and/or rant, and i'm sorry if i offend anyone. this just comes from my own experiences.
when i was growing up i used to be an aggressive little bastard, always picking fights, never paying attention when i needed to, always rebelling against my parents. reward systems didn't work, but punishment systems did. understanding what loss actually was, became the first big step toward me being "cured" (since i'm sure if i was a child now, and behaved the same way i'd be diagnosed as "ill"). learning that misbehaving and/or not paying attention led to me losing things, often permanently, led to me focusing my energies somewhat more positively. it even helped me recognise that to get the things i wanted but didn't even have yet, i might need to put in extra effort, and so i joined a cadet force which tought me even more self discipline.
now, it's more difficult for adults, but really... all you need to do, is build yourself a routine, and stick to it. and understand that you won't get the things you want without that routine.
if you feel you can't work a full day at home, studying anatomy and stuff. that's fine. build a routine around what you CAN do. do 2 hours studying, 2 hours play, 2 hours study, 2 hours play. treat yourself like a little kid for a while, but force yourself to understand that if you don't do the 2 hours study, you don't get the 2 hours play.
/end rant/opinion.
This presentation from RSA explains what children are struggling with quite well.
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDZFcDGpL4U[/ame]
It's not that they are lacking discipline, they are just surrounded by stimulation. Their school and home life are very under-stimulating by comparison. Also children with ADHD have very different learning needs compared to the rest of children and they tend to be "hard to control" because nobody is observing and addressing those needs. Instead, they pump them full of drugs to calm them down.
for example in my living room we have:
an xbox 360
a ps3
2 pc's
a tv
a shelf full of dvd's
a shelf full of books (both childrens, adults, and inbetween in content).
now, ask me which is the first one which the kids ask to use every day after school? it's got absolutely fuck all to do with being "over stimulated", and everything to do with "DURRR I WANT TO PLAY GAMES!".
i wonder if they have published any studies on households who have a lot of electrical entertainment systems vs. households who don't, with regard to their childrens attention to study. because i can tell you for a fact, that everyone i've met who refused to buy their kids an xbox, has a harder working kid.
There tends to be a lot of self-diagnosing going on, and doctors who just want to get it over with and slap the first best thing on the child, And then there's the problem that children are by default quite energetic.
The problem is that both situations share the same symptoms, except for one child it just doesn't go away.
It doesn't negate the fact that it exists, as much as someone depressed over the day doesn't negate the fact that chronically depressed people exist.
It looks exactly the same, one guy will get over it, but the other one has to live with it for all his life.
I wasn't hyperactive when I was young, I had a perfectly fine upbringing, but even with the self diciplin and motivation I have today I still feel the effects of it, this isn't just some childhood thing, this is pretty deep, deep enough that I have to adjust after it.
You're forgetting about mobile phones. Every kid has one these days and they provide just as much stimulation as all of those devices above combined. Plus, it's a phone! On top of that, parents are getting lazy about raising their kids. They turn to the doctors to dope their kids up or they start smacking the kid (not that hitting your kid is anything new).
My parents took the latter because ADHD was barely known about. Trust me, hitting your ADHD child may get to them to stop for the moment, but in the long term it teaches them nothing on how to control their impulses or deal with their boredom. All it does is teach them to hit others when they are angry. This was in the 80's and early 90's when there wasn't any internet.
Why wouldn't the kids choose games over the books or DVDs? Books are boring, they're not interactive, and mostly don't have any pictures. Comic books were where it was at for me. Great story and great art too. I still read comics. Anyway, if you took those same books and put them into an interactive medium, such as a game or a digital comic book, I'm sure they would be fully immersed in them. The things we love most in life are those that engage us the most. Games do that very well. They require and stimulate a majority of the senses. They make you feel fully alive.
So anyway. Now that we've gone off topic, and that never happens in GD...
and no, i don't hit my kids. but they do understand the value of loss, and also the value of working for something.
those are two key lessons that i drilled into them as early as possible.
but hey, what do i know? their grades have only gone from two years below average, to a year above in the time i've lived with my girlfriend. i'm sorry i don't have "MD" behind my name to help give weight to my opinions.
Okay, there is one other obstacle to deal with: Fear of failure. I'll explain. All my life, failure has been met with shame, ridicule, and demeaning lecturing, "You're irresponsible, you're lazy, you don't care, you're stupid". This has left me with an inability to allow myself to make mistakes and as a result, I'm afraid to do things that I might fail at. So I procrastinate or, more aptly, avoid the situations that brought me the negative feedback in the first place. So, I have an automatic reaction of fear when faced with any task that requires the least amount of cognitive skill, I freeze. "It's too big, I'm not good enough, I'm don't know how to do it, It's too hard". Now a some of the time I can push past it because for some reason or another. I'm overwhelmed by my passion for what I want to create, but I look at the work of others and realize that's the bar by which I will be judged. That scares me shit-less.
I have a desperate need to get good enough to look for a job in the industry, but my skills aren't on par with what is common for an artist in the industry. I know those people didn't get that good in a day, but my inability to match that level of skill today kills my motivation to even try. The sad thing is, I do have the latent abilities required for this, art skill runs in my mother's side of my family. I can draw, my mother can draw, my brother can draw, and my grandmother used to be a painter. I'm skilled in music and I very good at spatial and mechanical reasoning.
I know I could be a good artist, I'm just getting in my own way.
Gir:
Don't take what I said as directly at you. It was more to the general state of parenting as it is today and I was referring more to families with ADHD children that don't know how to handle their different needs. It's great that you can get your kids to do well without negative feedback or physical punishment. You're making a good example for them.
to try, and fail, is to learn. to retry, and succeed is to have mastered. to never have tried at all, and all for the fear of failing, is to have failed entirely.
Yeah, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Must try harder!
by trying, and not succeeding, i'm not failing.
by not trying at all, i am failing.
paint over your concept to mark the areas you've completed, this will give you a good idea of the overall work left and help prevent spending too much time on unimportant details.
Yes master!