Alleyway Skateboard Scene(crit)
Yo yo yo. Here's a skate scene I'm working on. Let me know what you think and what you'd change.
Also here's an image for your shoeing pleasure(i'm sorry):
Also here's an image for your shoeing pleasure(i'm sorry):
Replies
The bottom of the board is way to clean if you compare it to the top. The nose, middle and tail should be really scratched, and same with the middle of the trucks. I'm just commenting on this because I've been a skater and I know what a board goes trough when you skate with it for a while. Apart from this bitching about scratches, it does look fantastic. You should make the scene a bit bigger too, should be interesting.
Love the mini environment man, the skate deck is nice as well, overall just a great little piece coming along, nice work!
I have an update for a bunch of the textures too but I'll have to upload it once I get back home from work. The shadows are also deeper and the lighting more contrasty. Getting ahead of myself here so I'll just wait to explain all that sheeeit when I post it.
Really all I'm saying is thanks for the crits and stuff.
I have an update for a bunch of the textures too but I'll have to upload it once I get back home from work. The shadows are also deeper and the lighting more contrasty. Getting ahead of myself here so I'll just wait to explain all that sheeeit when I post it.
In the meantime:
As I said tho, love the scene, interpret the crit anyway you want
Thanks
Eh, Kinda. I mean I'm making it fairly low but I don't really care if there is unnecessary geometry in some areas. My main thing is just to make it look good.
The angle of the ramp v. the skaters height doesn't seem to match up in my mind.
Thanks. Ha yeah - I haven't reduced it yet. I figured I'd do it after the whole scene is textured but I guess it wouldn't hurt to do it sooner either. I initially made it as it's own asset to be viewed really close. Then I was all "I wanna make a whole skate scene and include the board." I'll take care of that soonly.
I think it might be confusing because he's tweaking it down. normally the board would almost be at the opposite angle but he came up and tweaked it. I do see what you mean though. Maybe I'll scoot him back and down a little. here's what the progression is supposed to be. I was gonna sculpt every pose but.. you know how that goes sometimes.
Edit: Looking at it again, the 3rd pose in does seem to get really high really fast, unnaturally. Hrmmm.. I'll def have to rethink that.
Roger that. The bricks are supposed to be bigger bricks but if it looks wrong I'll scale em down and put more in. I'll make the parking spot bigger, although I brought in a car I modeled that's to scale of the human model and it's the right size. It's all about perception though and if it looks off, might as well fix it. Anyone else have thoughts on the scale?
Thanks for the crit. Appreciate it.
The bricks look a little large - I can't remember the last time I saw bricks that large that weren't breeze blocks (and if they are supposed to be breeze blocks, they wouldn't be so worn at the edges). Maybe add a wall running behind the entirety of the ramp instead - could provide an interesting texture opportunity, and since you're going for an obvious skater scene, maybe some graffiti would complement the scene nicely.
The parking spaces look fine to me - those bollards are intended to stop cars mounting the curb, not to delineate the spaces themselves, and as such they're usually spaced close enough together to prevent a car from passing between them. Compared to the scale of the skater, they look fine.
Some nice poses, and you've got some nice textures on the board - just fix some of the wear and damage, and it'll really pop. Nice work.
The deck looks pretty sick. I agree on the bottom needing to be more messed up. Especially the trucks... when grinding it leaves some gnarly scratches and divots which can be deeper than just a scratch. The grip tape turned out nice though.
Good stuff.
The brick/block wall is kind of dragging the scene down a bit. I'm not sure what to make of it. Bricks without mortar? They seem big and easily pushed around.
Did you model the shoe off of a specific brand?
I'm not sure the hand painted mixes all that well with the photo ref stuff.
His flesh tone seems a little pale and undead-ish?
Yeah I e-mailed myself to scale the bricks down and add more when I get home. I'll definitely fix that, along with the extra messed up sheeeit to the board and trucks. I've changed a lot of textures, too and will post a new render tonight. Thanks a lot. Really appreciate the feedback.
Especially now that everyone is mentioning the bricks I'm looking forward to the hopefully improved scene tonight. There is now a photo overlay on the brick which seems to have helped a ton. Same with the glass of the street lamp.
The shoe is based very loosely off of my Etnies. And I remembered after I baked out the normal map that the shoe is mirrored, so the RMT(lame anyway) is gonna have to go because it's reversed on the left shoe.
Oh, and the skin is not textured yet haha. I painted it last night. In that shot there is only an occlusion map applied. No worries, he shall come to life soon. :P
Any ideas on how to go about introducing some mortar to the brick now that they are separate? Just intersecting geometry with some concrete grain in the normal map?
Thanks a ton.
mortar - eye texture - all muh seams - SHOELACE PENETRATION! - belt texture - skin detail - skin spec map - hobo - hair texture and hair planes - more damage to skateboard
Any other critiques are greatly appreciated. I'm going to finish this shit tonight if it means I'm up til 5am. :O!
I hope all the changes are obvious. You guys have helped out a lot. The bricks look a trillion times better with a brick overlay and smaller, as suggested. Lighting was flat as hell and the shadows sucked. Those were my biggest gripes before and I'm glad they are fixed moreso. Lemmmme know what you think.
If you could, can you elaborate on this and give me some things that would steer it in the direction of being acceptable?
I'm not sure how to go about making it a night shot and keeping everything visible. Any pointers? This was my attempt at a night shot but I realize it doesn't look like it.
Basically desaturate (except for the lamplight), higher contrast (much darker shadows), slight blue tint over scene.
I would say, straighten his shoulders some so they're more horizontal, and then bring his front foot closer to his body, when hes going to land the tail grab he will need his weight to be centered over the board, and at the moment he is leaning really far backwards.
Your mesh isn't very efficient. Lots of edge loops and wasted triangles that aren't contributing much (read: at all) to the shape of the object. Rather than spend the triangles to smooth your bricks, you could have done a highpoly model and baked it down to a simpler cube shape. This same logic pretty well applies to everything in your scene - the skateboard especially.
I'm in the middle of doing a contest so I don't have time to do up some models to show you what I mean, but I would suggest looking at your scene then looking at this wireframe:
http://www.adambromell.com/subpage7/fc2.jpg
This isn't really intended to be a game scene though. I suppose it only makes sense to make it as efficient as possible but I just kinda wanted it to look good. It could definitely be lower. I might bring it to game res once I'm finished with it.
Thanks for taking the time to elaborate on what you meant. I really appreciate it.
The lamp light should be warm, and use a half sphere with a dark cool blue constant material (make it invisible in render) with final gathering if its in mental ray and not for games.