Relax. I saw breaknecks photo and had a laugh. I'm sure ae's adult enough to recognize 'no harm, no foul'. And to be fair (read: accurate), Carlo did those concepts - not me.
As for a critique, I was going to go to bed rather than write something up but here it goes:
Today at lunch Carlo and I were checking out some entries from around the different communities. When we hit up Brisck1's entry, we had a pretty good discussion about it which I think applies to your piece as well. While we like it, Carlo summed it up by saying its feels a little too... 'candy'. Bright colours, pretty areas, but not a lot too it. This isn't a bad thing, per se, but when there's not much by means of content to the piece it can be weakened.
I think this is happening to yours, but can easily be remedied: Don't worry about the lighting just yet. Flesh your scene out more. Realize everything about it before moving on. If you want to drop in a couple of lights early on to just see your scene and perhaps paint it with an overall colour you can see it harmonizing with, do it. But don't get knee-deep in colour this early in the game as you'll confuse the lighting noise with content and settle with how its feeling (busy but not much goin' on).
More specifically about your lighting: You have a lot of red happening in the foreground without cause, and a beautiful backdrop thats just being overtaken completely by the foreground. IMO, the red sides even overtake your primary focus of the scene. A wise French man once told me that the eye gravitates towards warm colours - keep this in mind.
On paper, we have a week left. Figure out if this feedback is useful to you and if it is, prioritize your next 6 days and you'll come out with something you're proud of. Promise
My bad guys for dirtying up AE's thread, I've edited it so it just has the crit (sorry about that Adam, AE).
Anyways man, I kinda like the hatch opened like that, I'm thinking if it was opened the other way, the shapes may get lost in the perspective, unless you find someway to light it so the door can be readable.
I think if you added in a cockpit, and maybe get rid of that little flame smoke thing right at the door, it maayyy work a bit better, but I actually don't know for sure
Hmmmm, so close AE, try messing around with the door placement a bit more, and see what works best.
I feel that you moved the pod too far back. Its a little hard to make out what it is. I also feel that it didnt help your focus on the ship at all as well. In the old version it was up in your face so my eyes would go there a lot more than it would now. The main thing that really draws all of my attention(and I think you've already received this critique) is that the red on that emergency sign is really vibrant and hot.
A possible solution for the emergency sign is breaking it up from all of the destruction going on. Maybe having the lights blown out or only a few letters lit up. You could also have a couple hanging at an angle to show some what of a destroyed sign as well.
I might just be retarded though, wait until what other people say before you make any changes! This piece has come a long ways since the first pass, keep it up.
The pod doesn't read well, and its too far away. Parking stands out too much. I think the composition could be too balanced right now, try moving the pod over to the left or right like 300 pixels and closer.
Sweet fast crits guys i did a ninja edit of the scene with the above crits in mind, toned down the red on the emergency and bringing the pod forward:
I would love to get some more crits on the scene ASAP cause i have all of tomorrow to work on this and would love to get all the issue sorted out! so crit away Polycount!
I will be devoting my time to grungifying the scene tomorrow if there are not issues pointed out
I really like the individual assets, I feel like the flames on the sides are too distracting and low quality and the ones on top of the parking place look very flat. This scene reminds me a little of robocop, it might be worth checking that out for some fun ref. There is alot of red at the moment and the composition doesnt really follow the old rule of 3s idea, like foreground object midground object and background and then a nice curve to the composition, the camera angle is just a bit flat really. The background meteors are very orange/red you might want them to look more white hot with a bit of sparks/glow.
Thanks for the crits man ill look at the flames an figure out how i can make them look less curvy, also i think compared to my previous shot i have toned down the red alot ill try to incorparate ess of it as much as possible andhopefully blend more lights into the scene to make it pop.
Sweet job so far, I'm liking it overall and the new camera angle is definitely better. It might actually be nice if you moved the camera down a bit so we could see more of the ground. I think it would serve to reduce some of the visual tension caused by the horizon line and the pod and everything being right up against the frame and seeming cropped.
I think the side of the pod that we can see is pretty plain, maybe add some greeble detail to it for more visual interest.
I also agree about the foreground flames. They are distracting and don't really match with the look of the rest of the scene. From the way they are poking in from out of frame it's really hard to imagine what their source would be. I think you'd be better off without them.
With the extension you have plenty of time to finish and tweak, good luck!
Haha ae, love the stripe and the greentooth, those little details really breath some life into that pod man!
Alrighty so I got inspired by your sexy scene and did a paintover with my lovely shitty mouse...
I was kinda going at random so these could be mostly lame ideas, but I thought I might as well post it, maybe you'll get a brainwave of awesome idea's of your own (cause you've been doing so already you crazy talented bastard!).
My biggest thing now is that I feel as though your scene needs to have some pieces in it to break it up... add a bit more diversity. I think you should try and add some sort of highlight to the back of the pod to help push it forward... that will help really put the focus on it.
Anyways AE, you're doing a great job buddy, I wish I could have been on this Unearthly challenge, so many amazing entries... meh
KEEP ON KICKING ASS BUDDY! I'll talk to you later today probably.
Just a quick update with a few adjustments i made thanks to some of Jasons crits!
the scene is basically done i added some street lights but it seemed to make the scene way too busy, if anyone has any suggestions im more than willing to see what i can add or take away from the scene to make it Awesome!
Not sure if you intended this but the pod looks unfinished. I would assume if this thing fell and smashed into the ground it would be totally messed up.
Not sure if you intended this but the pod looks unfinished. I would assume if this thing fell and smashed into the ground it would be totally messed up.
I actually did that on purpose i wanted the pod to look out of this world, kinda using the Dragon Ball Z pods at ref, i was gonna make it look smashed up but decided to keep it clean, like it is indestructible.
I kinda agree. Even if you don't want to dent up the actual silhouette of the pod, I think it would be sweet to see some scratches and scorching in some selective areas(not totally destroyed, kind of a combo of your initial intent with these suggestions). Also, the emergency sign makes me giggle. Great progress man, keep it up!
The only problem now is I think with the darker colour starches, its kinda getting sucked back into the scene, also maybe the scratches should be more vertical based on the direction it landed.
I understand that the pod would have some pretty nasty brunt marks (hence the blacker scratches) but maybe try playing around with lighter scratches as well, as if the Pod had some sort of painted metal, and now that paint has chipped off.
I'm currently in crunch at work so ill try my best to make the deadline, I wont be able to make any huge changes so ill be pulling an all nighter tonight and tomorrow to get this done!
Replies
As for a critique, I was going to go to bed rather than write something up but here it goes:
Today at lunch Carlo and I were checking out some entries from around the different communities. When we hit up Brisck1's entry, we had a pretty good discussion about it which I think applies to your piece as well. While we like it, Carlo summed it up by saying its feels a little too... 'candy'. Bright colours, pretty areas, but not a lot too it. This isn't a bad thing, per se, but when there's not much by means of content to the piece it can be weakened.
I think this is happening to yours, but can easily be remedied: Don't worry about the lighting just yet. Flesh your scene out more. Realize everything about it before moving on. If you want to drop in a couple of lights early on to just see your scene and perhaps paint it with an overall colour you can see it harmonizing with, do it. But don't get knee-deep in colour this early in the game as you'll confuse the lighting noise with content and settle with how its feeling (busy but not much goin' on).
More specifically about your lighting: You have a lot of red happening in the foreground without cause, and a beautiful backdrop thats just being overtaken completely by the foreground. IMO, the red sides even overtake your primary focus of the scene. A wise French man once told me that the eye gravitates towards warm colours - keep this in mind.
On paper, we have a week left. Figure out if this feedback is useful to you and if it is, prioritize your next 6 days and you'll come out with something you're proud of. Promise
THIS IS A SRS FORUM FOR SRS PPL!
I opened up the pods hatch but i dont like it as much as it closed what does everyone else think?
also i hope to do another pass with the lighting once i have the content down:
Anyways man, I kinda like the hatch opened like that, I'm thinking if it was opened the other way, the shapes may get lost in the perspective, unless you find someway to light it so the door can be readable.
I think if you added in a cockpit, and maybe get rid of that little flame smoke thing right at the door, it maayyy work a bit better, but I actually don't know for sure
Hmmmm, so close AE, try messing around with the door placement a bit more, and see what works best.
I feel that you moved the pod too far back. Its a little hard to make out what it is. I also feel that it didnt help your focus on the ship at all as well. In the old version it was up in your face so my eyes would go there a lot more than it would now. The main thing that really draws all of my attention(and I think you've already received this critique) is that the red on that emergency sign is really vibrant and hot.
A possible solution for the emergency sign is breaking it up from all of the destruction going on. Maybe having the lights blown out or only a few letters lit up. You could also have a couple hanging at an angle to show some what of a destroyed sign as well.
I might just be retarded though, wait until what other people say before you make any changes! This piece has come a long ways since the first pass, keep it up.
I would love to get some more crits on the scene ASAP cause i have all of tomorrow to work on this and would love to get all the issue sorted out! so crit away Polycount!
I will be devoting my time to grungifying the scene tomorrow if there are not issues pointed out
Thanks for the crits man ill look at the flames an figure out how i can make them look less curvy, also i think compared to my previous shot i have toned down the red alot ill try to incorparate ess of it as much as possible andhopefully blend more lights into the scene to make it pop.
I think the side of the pod that we can see is pretty plain, maybe add some greeble detail to it for more visual interest.
I also agree about the foreground flames. They are distracting and don't really match with the look of the rest of the scene. From the way they are poking in from out of frame it's really hard to imagine what their source would be. I think you'd be better off without them.
With the extension you have plenty of time to finish and tweak, good luck!
Hey Ged,
My noob is showing, may i ask what a portrait render is?
Thanks in advance.
Alrighty so I got inspired by your sexy scene and did a paintover with my lovely shitty mouse...
I was kinda going at random so these could be mostly lame ideas, but I thought I might as well post it, maybe you'll get a brainwave of awesome idea's of your own (cause you've been doing so already you crazy talented bastard!).
My biggest thing now is that I feel as though your scene needs to have some pieces in it to break it up... add a bit more diversity. I think you should try and add some sort of highlight to the back of the pod to help push it forward... that will help really put the focus on it.
Anyways AE, you're doing a great job buddy, I wish I could have been on this Unearthly challenge, so many amazing entries... meh
KEEP ON KICKING ASS BUDDY! I'll talk to you later today probably.
Things i need to do before final submission:
-Stop playing MW2 :P
- Add streelights
- go over lighting
- Get second shot
- Organize assets and get texture sheets for submission image.
Does anyone know ihow i would go about getting the polycount of the scene in unreal? or do i have to figure that out myself?
the scene is basically done i added some street lights but it seemed to make the scene way too busy, if anyone has any suggestions im more than willing to see what i can add or take away from the scene to make it Awesome!
I actually did that on purpose i wanted the pod to look out of this world, kinda using the Dragon Ball Z pods at ref, i was gonna make it look smashed up but decided to keep it clean, like it is indestructible.
do you think it brings the piece down?
I understand that the pod would have some pretty nasty brunt marks (hence the blacker scratches) but maybe try playing around with lighter scratches as well, as if the Pod had some sort of painted metal, and now that paint has chipped off.
I'm currently in crunch at work so ill try my best to make the deadline, I wont be able to make any huge changes so ill be pulling an all nighter tonight and tomorrow to get this done!
Thanks for the kind words im glad i wrapped this one up it was alot of fun!
I'm a little baffled why the text is backwards?
As for the text I accidentally transformed it Horizontally but forgot to flip it back when i was making the texture sheet :P
glad you did
still not sure what the fishing reel w/ light switch is , but it is pretty damn cool non the less