My Capstone Video

Canden Picard

So the capstone is the pinnacle pf the ITT education. Crits are welcome but keep in mind Im a Multi Media grad right now and havent done a whole lot of 3ds max study so Ive only come so far. But please let me know what you think. There arent any sound effects other than the dictation for many reasons. The main reason being I was having trouble with editing and more clips would have meant more problems.
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EDENtcuE_k[/ame]

Canden Picard

So, how was it?

oobersli

why are you talking during it? and please.. the last part with the swords and stuff with the accent, was just weird. I think your work would be better presented with just music and no talking.

Is this for a portfolio or for just fun and giggles? I'd say if its for portfolio then just ditch the elaborate backgrounds and go for something less distracting so the focus can be entirely on the props.

Canden Picard

Its a showcase on the weapons, I explain how they work. I was afraid the background would be distracting. It was for a capstone project so I had to fill 10 weeks with work I couldnt just do some video with just the weapons. But, I appreciate it. I was actually thinking on dong a dynamic zoom and display like: when I talked about the shot guns cocking guard like do a zoom in on the cocking guard and then zoom out. That was a though halfway through the video.

JasonLavoie

Canden Picard wrote: »

Thanks for the advice. Dont be creative and limit myself I got it.

In before the shit storm...

Edit: opps nm, good call on changing that man.

MikeF

Some of the models look decent, but its not a good way at all of showing them off, The backgrounds are distracting and in the second half most models go out of the safe action frame. while the description of how the weapons work is an interesting idea, its just boring, i got half way through the second weapon and stopped caring

Calabi

Make it a love story and it would be much better.

Canden Picard

Right right, it is a little bit slow. The original project was going to be a full first person scene much more interesting and entertaining but I had issues that led to the video and project failing. Here it is: like you said with the backgrounds, I prefered at first to purposefully focus attention on the weapons.
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDg7ngqHFOQ[/ame]

Canden Picard

Make it a love story and it would be much better.

Yeah lol The shotty and hammer have a thing going on but Dont tell the sniper, hes not someone you want to piss off.

Mark Dygert

0:00-0:24 needs to go. The glow effects and bad bevel/emboss are at best, impressive only with a time machine.
2:04 I nodded off. But did wake up thinking I should buy bacon flavored shotgun rounds...
3:00 Very much lost interest in watching each weapon spin, no wire frame, no flat shaded view, no cool holographic projected text highlighting the areas you talk about...

It doesn't speak to your technical skills at all, there are zero break down shots, and it feels like more of a sales pitch, which personally you kind of stink at. If you're going to go that route (and I suggest you don't) watch some late night TV infomercials, have your best friends sister record the dialog in her slutty robot chick voice.

Your signature is distracting. It's cool that your gun-ho for Jesus and want us all to know it, but really, a sandwich board gets the message across just like a billboard. I'm not trying to sensor your freedom of speech or stifle your religious expression but dude its an art board not 4chan huge sigs are gaudy and really unnecessary here.

slipsius

The animation on the hands at the start is really stiff. I dunno if its suppose to be a robot or not, since its only 4 fingers, but do that with your own hand. look at it, and bend your fingers as though you just realized they work. your pinky goes first, then ring finger, middle finger, index, and thumb. and i would start that finger movement jsut before the wrist turn ends. too much of a pause between the two I think

Canden Picard

Thanks VIG, Glad to see were all humble helpful artists here on polycount.

Thanks for the crit slipsius. Yeah, I dont have many Char models and he was an early one I had done. lol, Im glad to see you understood the whole "Hey im alive and I have a hand thing". Your right it was a little to Step by step looking, then agian I have a lot to learn and a long way to go.

oobersli

Canden Picard wrote: »

Its a showcase on the weapons, I explain how they work. I was afraid the background would be distracting. It was for a capstone project so I had to fill 10 weeks with work I couldnt just do some video with just the weapons. But, I appreciate it. I was actually thinking on dong a dynamic zoom and display like: when I talked about the shot guns cocking guard like do a zoom in on the cocking guard and then zoom out. That was a though halfway through the video.

just saying, the talking about the weapons might sound creative, but its boring. You need to work on your presentation voice more if you plan to go that route. Its like listening to a weather report in amish country. not trying to rude or anything.

an interesting way to present is to show concepts, schematics etc... along with the models as you talk so we have more to look at than a spinning model the whole time. As you narrate you could have the images tie in with things youre talking about at that moment so it reads as a story more.

Canden Picard

Right, Theres a saying "There is such a thing as too much" I thought it would be a nice touch in the video. I would have put my concepts in there, but the whole Education my finals were based around my sketches and Screens of my models and I didnt want to do any stills here. The main issue was it was too distant, It was to withdrawn from the weapons but in order to keep it centered it had to be that way, its much better full screen. Like I said Ive only come so far, I get better every day. thanks though.

Mark Dygert

Oh sorry forgot to kiss your jewel encrusted ass... princess =P

Humor didn't work lets try empathy and compassion mixed with a little coddling (next comes ignore).

I think you're off to a good start, but not there yet. Keep trying, compare what you do to what you see currently in the industry and shoot about 2-3 years in the future, because those are the games that are being made right now.

You used a lot of tricks that where worn out years ago and it didn't come off very well. I think you've got it in you to do better and I push you to keep going. If you continue to improve at the rate you're currently learning you could really have something soon. It could take longer if you choose to not listen to honest critique... But I think you could get there, now suck it up soldier and dig in.

Canden Picard

Thanks Vig Ill remember that.

dolemite

I thought it was pretty cool for what it is. I made a bunch of stuff like this when I was getting a multimedia degree, and I think the discs they were burned to are non-existent now.

I'd start a wip thread and get some feedback on a specific gun. So design a sniper rifle, get people's feedback, fix it, etc.

My initial reaction to the revolver pistol was "cylinder is superfluous. Either give it a clip or a cylinder." I think you need more feedback like that, but it's kind of overwhelming for people on here to watch the entire clip.

I think if you picked one gun and tried to make it great you would get a lot out of it. Make your next project a poly count WIP thread.

Canden Picard

Alright, cool dolemite. Ill remember that too.