artistic anxiety
I imagine that among the many artists on this site there are ones like me, who seemingly cannot finish any project they actually want to do. I'd even bet that there are those like me who have the ability to finish projects and tasks that we have no passion for and we do those exceedingly well.
I don't work in the game industry although it's a dream of mine, and I wonder if this is the barrier that seperates me from many of the talented and employed artists on this site. Is it that those people have the ability to do what they love and do it well or is it that what they want to do evades them as well and they do what they don't want to do really well.
I know this is a tad complex but I'm just trying to get myself passed this roadblock and I'd like to know how others who have faced it, conquered it.
I'm hoping this thread can bring meaningful advice or insight to people like myself on how to beat task anxiety.
I don't work in the game industry although it's a dream of mine, and I wonder if this is the barrier that seperates me from many of the talented and employed artists on this site. Is it that those people have the ability to do what they love and do it well or is it that what they want to do evades them as well and they do what they don't want to do really well.
I know this is a tad complex but I'm just trying to get myself passed this roadblock and I'd like to know how others who have faced it, conquered it.
I'm hoping this thread can bring meaningful advice or insight to people like myself on how to beat task anxiety.
Replies
if you have to, force yourself. you really, really don't wanna see some of my art from less than 2-3 years ago.
I'm sure there's both kinds of people in every industry, though.
Hard work and polycount education can and does pay off. Not to mention the networking skills you gain from knowing these people on the boards. I got my current job from knowing folks on this board.
Just keep doing what you love. There are always obstacles to overcome, but they don't stand it your way. Getting over your anxiety is just a part of the process towards reaching whatever goal in life it is you intend to reach. Dekard's got it.
I was too messed up to be stressed about finishing stuff
But seriously I suddenly found I had the ability to finish stuff as i developed a sense of pride in my work
i think you just have to love what you are doing really
My anxiety actually fuels my desire to finish my work
For example, I know many artists who always draw heads, that's pretty much all they draw, they draw heads in profile, from the front, and 3 quarters view.
They can usually do it pretty good to, but it's all they know and they never push themselves beyond that.
If you focus on pushing yourself outside yours safe zone, accepting/learning from your failures, and be honest with yourself about what you are lacking you will get better.
Being an artist is a HUGE mental drain. You have to be emotionally invested in what you create, but you also have to detach yourself enough to keep going even when your work does not meet your expectations.
It is one of the single most challenging balances one can try to achieve, and through it all artists are expected to remain humble and stoic.
It's an absurd paradox. Your expected to be able to let go, but in order to get better you have to spend your every waking moment with your art; forcing yourself to love it just as you are often times are coming to hate it.
The only way that I have found to get around this is by maintaining perspective. Not in the literally since, but in the figurative sense.
You have to be able to see where you are going, where you have come from, and where you are; while honestly taking into account the kind of person you are & the personal adversity that you have had to overcome.
This can be incredibly difficult to do because we usually mistake our own self criticism for honesty when, in reality, it is simply an emotional response and is no where near an honest or accurate assessment.
We do not choose to be born artists, we choose to become artists, and everyone is different. The key is knowing yourself and knowing where you want to go while maintaining a realistic and honest perspective along the way.
Here is an interesting Ted talk on being creative that re-iterates some of this:
http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html
I don't think any artist can ever be truely satisfied with the work they produce. Speaking for myself, I sometimes get a momentary sense of achievement when finishing a piece, but my overall artistic goals are always way above what I am currently capable of. The flaws in each piece are always painfully apparent to me, but I think it is really important to criticise and analyse your own work as much as possible in order to improve as an artist
So, don't get disheartened and don't treat each piece of work you do as the be-all-and-end-all. If you're psyching yourself out because something's not coming out as you'd like, then put it to one side and work on the underlying fundamentals that relate to that particular piece. Then, come back to it once you've levelled up those skills.
Also, don't start things only just for fun, i you have an idea, not "depurated", not enough solid, forget it because is very probable you will abandon soon (because you won't like it anymore). Like in all projects, if you are going to start something... you must plan all very well at the very beginning. And of course, divide the work in stages, in this way anxiety should not be a big problem. Each finished stage of work, is a bit of satisfaction
Ahh, don't forget to work only a few hours, to stay too many hours working on a project can be very bad, more if you push yourself working on sleeping hours (you can say yourself: "i have done this today, tomorrow more!"). Avoid the mental fatigue, a fresh mind sees things better.
A short step can be a big step ^^
If you have motivation, the better.
cheers!
I agree with the idea that planning is important. If you plan something out and don't start something without first understanding it then your anxiety will be reduced because you will simply be following a plan.
This takes some of the huge burden off of your artistic abilities and places it on your ability organize and plan things. Which helps even out the psychological burden your place on yourself.
It is often ill advised to engage in dicey art adventures where you just follow an idea without a road map. It's a good way to get lost, confused, and discouraged.
Planning is often times one of the least talked about aspects of art, but in one way or another it has to be done. When your are inexperienced you need to take extra time to make sure your plans are plausible and realistic.
Do research and learn about the ends and outs of your proposed projects, and make sure you truly understand the fundamental concepts before you try to start something big.
You are human just like everyone else so what works for others will often work for you. You just need to understand the idea well enough to utilize it in your own way.
It's not a good idea to work blindly through something that you don't understand. You will can make a giant mess and destroy your confidence.
That said don't be afraid to make mistakes, just make sure your projects are small enough that you make them quickly, learn from them, and move on.
All the advice in this thread is as useful as it is useless. The bottom line is that you just need to keep trying, whether you finish or not is initially not as important as the practise and the learning that comes from the previous work.
Just work at it, find what works for you, whether its working naked with your mum's sunday hat on and no idea what you are doing or steadfastly and professionally researching and planning everything out beforehand with clear objectives.
Initially its good to start with what we love and just explore. The rest will come from that.
I still suffer from anxiety, still question my worth, wonder if I have it all figured out wrong and really I'm just repeating the same boring forms again and again and no one wants to tell me the truth.
We're all nuts you know? Just don't quit on the notion because its difficult, often more is learned when we are uncomfortable.
We are all unique.
I'm not claiming to know it all. Nor am I trying to come across as being authoritative. I'm just thinking out loud in an attempt to hopefully dispense something that someone else might find useful. Please don't mistake me being verbose for me be authoritative.
I just do a poor job of distilling thoughts like these down into those handy little quotes.
Every bit of advice that I am giving was learned through my OWN mistakes. I didn't gleam any of this from some book and it wasn't handed down to me.
It's merely just my perspective at this moment.
I to still suffer from major anxiety, and I know I will never fully overcome it, nor would I want to. It is part of the mix that makes us who we are.
Everyone goes through times in their life where the odds are against them and try as they might they just can't overcome their problems, but if you can keep some momentum, and keep moving forward in a way that works for you, circumstances will change, and when they do, you will be far more ready to seize the moment than if you had just given up.
A lot of the time advice like this leads to over thinking simple issues and circular reasoning which can generate even more anxiety than it is meant to resolve.
So I would take everything with a grain of salt.
Like Kevin said, just making sure you can keep working is the most important thing. You don't want anything to get in the way of your ability to work, not even the advice given here. If you stop working and give up it's game over.
In the end, it's not about succeeding at everything you do, it's about living your life in a way that maximizes your chances for success.
That's my take on it
There are lots of people that think exactly like you do, I see them every time I go to the local video game store and they want to tell me about how they could work in the industry too because they are so skilled but just cant be bothered....Dont worry though, I encourage you to keep sitting on your butt. Its already tough enough competition for jobs between the people that are busting there assess in the industry right now.
Want some motivation?
There's some other joe blow out there that has overcome HIS fear of commitment, and while you have scraped 4 projects, he's taken his time and completed 2 great pieces. He's building a better portfolio than you have to show for by tossing projects away and starting something else. He'll probably get a job before you will (if the art's any good at all mind you).
Think of it that way. There's always someone else out there better than you that is busting their ass to get a job. Beat 'em and show 'em you got some. But don't go making haste and waste ya here!
this thread has proven to be a wealth of perspectives and ideologies that i'm definetly taking note of.
in light of your words and advice, i've posted my first "polycount" model, a low poly creature/monster bust over in the pimping and previews forum.
it was created specificly for the purpose of getting feedback and input on the way i model as to gain outside perspectives that may help guide me further through all of my personal roadblocks.
no joking, this forum is the best thing to happen to me in a while. thanks.
+1
Like already has been said the bottom line is you have to work hard and that means putting the hours in every day, making a lot of mistakes, indulging in and embracing bouts of intense self doubt as inevitable and remembering that everyone who ever got their dream 3d/art job or made an artistic masterpiece suffered the insecurity you may feel and probably worse.
I remember Peter Jackson the director of some film about rings saying in an interview that although he was living the dream and making a film he was absolutely fanatical about he often had days where he was so exhausted, so tired that thoughts crept in as to whether it was actually worth it and whether he should just hand over to someone else who was fresh and had more enthusiasm and gusto.
He just reminded himself of the days he used to work in a mind numbingly boring job in a petrol station and that no matter how stressed or self-critical he got, would there be any job in the world he'd rather be doing right now.
Sometimes you have to experience the lows and the bottom rungs of life to actually fire up the passion to achieve something more and shoot for the stars, in a way all achievement originates from discontent.
We all have our own unique ways of motivating ourselves but sometimes its enlightening to know what spurs others to carry on and persevere. Hope this helps
How do you get comfortable with being outside your comfort zone? Spend more time outside of your bubble, than in it.
Finishing a project means you're opening yourself up to critique. So you stay with what is comfortable and safe and never finish. It's time to bust your own balls and post things, finished or not. Get them critiqued and learn to deal with criticism in a healthy way. It's better to get that learning experience out of the way now, instead of the first week of your new job.
Just keep in mind, there is one thing that will knock you down and you won't be able to recover, this is not that thing. You will always be able to stand back up, shake this off and try again.
whatever helps you pull your head out of your ass...
But then, really, You have to work.
"There are no shortcuts. I've been teaching for about four years, and every student wants to know the secret of getting better. But there is no secret. The harder you work, the more you draw, the better you get." - Feng Zhu
Not just in art dude, but in life generally.
Looks like this thread is becoming a thread of inspirational quotes so here's another one that I really like.
"If you want to do something special, you just have to believe that what you do is special. There is no secret ingredient, it's all you."
-from the movie Kung Fu Panda
Decide where and who you want to be. Figure out how you get there. Then start doing it!
At times when I'm not very hungry and I'm too comfortable in my life I have a difficult time finishing art projects. When I'm fed up with a job or when I'm between jobs I always do my best work. I think this is also why there seems to be an abundance of great art out there right now. Lots of hungry hungry artists.
There's a certian trend I see with CG/Digital artists today, and that is "make something cool, and do it quickly!". Which in the end is a really bad way to work.
I remember when doing traditional art . No one was rushing their way to the finish line with it. I mean today you can indeed look at the Industry from a job point of view, or an artistic one.
The Industry/job one will usually rush his/her work with imaginary thoughts of a competition, or a deadline with their work and usually will lose passion, or interest quickly in that of what their working on. Only through their unhonest efforts, much like a machine than person.
The Artistic one will more than likely take as much time as needed (be it days or months on a single part) to achieve that of what is pictured in their minds, and will more than likely succeed because they are completely free of strenuous thoughts that would stress them to a stop due to weaknesses.
In the end, life's not a race.
"What is a life void of strife" - Charnel from Sacrifice
Despite being malevolent, and generally a bad guy, that quote stuck with me. It's simplicity conceals a deep truth: we cannot have the good with out the bad and in order to know what it is to be happy we have to know what it is to suffer. The harder something is the greater the reward.
So there's 2 modes right -- "I want to do this" (creative, fun, explorative, exciting) and "I need to get this done" (responsible, for some end, like putting food on the table)
Imo follow number 1 until you're not into it anymore, and then just change the way you think about the thing so that it feels like number 2.
works for me! i got a game up on Steam, bitches!
You have to want it.
You have to know where you want to be.
You have to be able to look at the big picture and then break it down into smaller, manageable pieces.
Then you have to commit.
You eat an elephant one bite at a time.
You can't hope to finish an epic project in a week, nor should anyone expect you to. So plan, and schedule, starting with smaller projects first to get your teeth in there... and take some small bites to get an idea of things... then when you are proficient at the work, and you can settle on a certain level of quality, you move on to the next bite.
As long as there's a minimum standard, and forward movement, you will get better.
The worst thing you can do is sit there and work on one thing over and over again trying to perfect it, especially when you're having trouble with it. Move on to something else, maybe doing the next part will give you insight on how to do the previous better.
Big projects are fun, but they take huge amounts of commitment and discipline to work with (scheduling and keeping interest) so start smaller scale.
Here I get long winded, so read on if you have time.
Hell... I planned an entire animation series of 16-20 episodes of 1 hour each and I'm currently writing it in my spare time. I'm on episode 13. I started christmas 2007 to give you an idea how this is going.
Have I hit roadblocks? Sure, everyone will. Everything from 'writer's block' to life. I've encountered people telling me I'm crazy, to people saying 'cool'... what, just 'cool'? I asked for input :poly127:
Why do I do it? Because I want to, I need to. It's been a goal of mine since high school when I used to write and an even bigger goal when I went to school for animation.
And when the scripts are done? I'm going to use the locations as material to model to get me a new job. And when that is done, I'm going to use the 3d locations as finished sets and backgrounds for a storyboard project, where I will storyboard the entire series, which was my ultimate goal.
Do I know when exactly I'll finish? probably not. I'm aiming for christmas of this year to finish scripting, maybe sooner. From there I'm hoping I can have enough 3d done for a portfolio 6 months after that. The storyboard schedule? no idea. I haven't looked that far ahead in the future.
Will it get done?
sure.
How do I know?
Cause 2 years ago when I finished the timeline, I saw a roadmap to finishing. I just need to follow my map. Might be a few detours on the way, but I'll get there. 1 cause I don't really like where I'm working now, but I can tolerate it. 2 cause I want more for myself and my career. I know I can do more, so I will.
I'm up around 700 pages of written script at episode 13... a monumental task when you say, I'm going to write over 700 pages of script.
But hey, in the timeline, I have x number of episodes... well writing one episode isn't that bad... it's only about 50 pages. I can do that in a few weeks worth of evenings and weekends, tops. Year and a half later... 13x50(ish) not so bad now.
Mind you... What HAVEN'T I done in the last 2 years to make this possible?
I don't play wow... hell I haven't played much of anything in 2 years... half an hour of pangya here and there, some COD4 on pc... but my 360 hasn't been on for about 8 months now.
I also suck as an artist compared to almost every other artist on pc... but I'll get better. Just need more time to work. But that's not a problem either. Cause I'll just do more art when I make the time and I'll get better.
I have every confidence that I can achieve what I set out to do. Hell, by the end of the year, I'll have written 20 hour long episodes of an animated series. That's not a small project, that's something I can say 'If I can do that, I can do anything.'
I think part of the problem was the expectation on my part of what I want and how to do it. I always expected to somehow come up with a perfect representation of what I want first time with no errors or bumps. I question why cant I do it? Whats wrong with me?
I've come to realise that art isnt really like that, I've looked at other artists(the few that tell you), and the ones I've seen even though they are experts they can still come up with rubbish and it takes them alot of hours to do some of the really good stuff((I guess at least a few fails and retries).
From what I can tell there isnt really anything special about artists they arent born with skills to draw a straighter line than the rest of us. They dont have an right oriented art brain. All they do is work at it, they keep trying. They also, look at the subject study it know it as much as they possibly can and they also look at there own art study it to know where they went wrong.
I'm not looking to be some perfect artist, when I create something I'm just going to see if I can make it look a bit like what I want it to. Once I've got it there I'll try and make it a bit more, and so on, Till I'm either satisfied or cant get it any further. No pressure, no worries.
You get perfection through practice. You can't expect perfection to just pour out of your arm as if guided by some supernatural force. Build up to your final, take your time and enjoy it, otherwise doing it as a job will eat a hole right through ya...
I've been at the frustrating crossroads quite a lot, and it never goes away. It could be that the way you deal with it changes, and because you get more experienced, your approach to the work evolves. For example, the modelling phase has now become less important than the texturing phase for me, and I think its down to wanting to see something finished and presentable. I used to start out with huge ideas in my head about an epic scene or environment, nowadays I'm breaking it down to basic items. I agree with the theory of starting small, at least when you have something finished you'll know what it took to get it at that certain level you want.
get something down, dirty the page, then set about shaving the roughest edges off. then shave the next roughest edges off. then keep doing that until you're happy or you run out of time
so basically you don't want to be the best artist out there, you wanna be the guy whose fucked up the most projects!