christmas/ holiday of choice shenanigans (spelling?)
polycounter lvl 11
I don't know about you guys, but i tend to get quite annoyed with the holiday season, mainly because of my strange, disfunctional and awkward family. Now, if you are anything like me, in order to have a good time in such a dire situation, i have to actively engage in something that either completely separates me from the rest of the family, or something that is mischievous and completely outlandish that will result in surrounding family members being either weirded out, or just generally annoyed.
Now, if anyone happens to find themselves in the same situation holiday season after holiday season - and you need some entertainment this year - i propose the birth of the traditional holiday shenanigans. (of course this would be an inside joke, only funny to you, and lets say, your sibling of choice)
The real goal of the traditional holiday shenanigans is to come up with something completely out of character, and implement it into your Christmas persona. You are with family and friends, so they know what your interests and hobby's are for the most part. For instance, lets assume you are a carpenter or something similar... This holiday season, wouldn't it be great if you informed your family that you are leaving the wood carving business to join the great photography industry?
This of course, isn't classified as shenanigans -- the shenanigans would start when you pull out your 15 year old poleroid camera that you purchased from the good-will store downtown, and forced everyone to take group photos all night. (Not one, but three pictures per pose!) You can go on and on about how the hobby is just slowly consuming your interests, and when you show them the freshly taken pictures, they will notice how out of focus and out of frame everyone's heads are, but of course you will just be under the impression that your photographic work is the stuff of legends!... little do they know that you care nothing about photography and will be disposing of the film the next day via a flaming trash can.
Make sure you bring extra film, this is the holiday year your family will remember!
Anyways, the point is --- do something outlandish and out of character, that's the whole point.... examples as follows:
Traditional Holiday Activities include drinking eggnog. -- That's boring.
Instead: The Traditional Christmas mustache.
Now, there is a certain awesomeness and annoyance that a mustache brings. One, is to everyone who wears a mustache, usually wears it very proudly, and just smells of awesomeness. But to everyone who does not have a mustache seems to be generally annoyed at a mustache as cool as yours' presence.
Keep in mind if you usually wear a mustache, this technique will not work with you.
Instead: The Traditional Over-the-top, clearly purchased at your local thrift store Holiday sweater.
Once again, usually people who wear these revel in awesomeness. But people who don't have them are always saying things that would denote clear jealousy. I propose mustering the largest collection of vintage Christmas sweaters and wear those garbs like they were going out of style.... not like they went out of style 20 years ago.
Keep in mind if yo usually wear awesome christmas sweaters, that this technique will not work with you.
So, there are 2 of my proposals so far.... i'm curious if any of you have any clever ideas of your own.
Now, if anyone happens to find themselves in the same situation holiday season after holiday season - and you need some entertainment this year - i propose the birth of the traditional holiday shenanigans. (of course this would be an inside joke, only funny to you, and lets say, your sibling of choice)
The real goal of the traditional holiday shenanigans is to come up with something completely out of character, and implement it into your Christmas persona. You are with family and friends, so they know what your interests and hobby's are for the most part. For instance, lets assume you are a carpenter or something similar... This holiday season, wouldn't it be great if you informed your family that you are leaving the wood carving business to join the great photography industry?
This of course, isn't classified as shenanigans -- the shenanigans would start when you pull out your 15 year old poleroid camera that you purchased from the good-will store downtown, and forced everyone to take group photos all night. (Not one, but three pictures per pose!) You can go on and on about how the hobby is just slowly consuming your interests, and when you show them the freshly taken pictures, they will notice how out of focus and out of frame everyone's heads are, but of course you will just be under the impression that your photographic work is the stuff of legends!... little do they know that you care nothing about photography and will be disposing of the film the next day via a flaming trash can.
Make sure you bring extra film, this is the holiday year your family will remember!
Anyways, the point is --- do something outlandish and out of character, that's the whole point.... examples as follows:
Traditional Holiday Activities include drinking eggnog. -- That's boring.
Instead: The Traditional Christmas mustache.
Now, there is a certain awesomeness and annoyance that a mustache brings. One, is to everyone who wears a mustache, usually wears it very proudly, and just smells of awesomeness. But to everyone who does not have a mustache seems to be generally annoyed at a mustache as cool as yours' presence.
Keep in mind if you usually wear a mustache, this technique will not work with you.
Instead: The Traditional Over-the-top, clearly purchased at your local thrift store Holiday sweater.
Once again, usually people who wear these revel in awesomeness. But people who don't have them are always saying things that would denote clear jealousy. I propose mustering the largest collection of vintage Christmas sweaters and wear those garbs like they were going out of style.... not like they went out of style 20 years ago.
Keep in mind if yo usually wear awesome christmas sweaters, that this technique will not work with you.
So, there are 2 of my proposals so far.... i'm curious if any of you have any clever ideas of your own.
Replies
Unless your family is a bunch of alcoholic abusive fucks,enjoy it because one day it might not be the same.
dude I too are living an half a world away (literally you can't get any further away i am at the polar opposite to my family on the planet)
but ease off on Virtuosic, i like his quirk, especially the Christmas sweater idea, haha this is great for an uptight side of your family, and play it dead straight like it is your favorite Xmas sweater ever!
generally speaking though my family tends to
a.) give gifts
b.)eat heaps,
c.) then proceed to get as wasted as humanly possible(grandad is a hoot when wasted) , then sleep/coma
the only Christmas spirit we usually see is 40 proof. ........ so JO420, i think your last line looks my way
Well i wont even mention the part about christmas day beingthe day with the highest suicide rate
Hehe my point was just to tell virt to try to appreciate what you have during the holidays.
grow some senses of humor, life is too short to not have one.
should be fun
sometimes he puts his dick in the turkey. lawl!
The creepyness would double fold because I NEVER send out cards. ( Bonus, send cards to people who you know, that haven't heard from you in years... like old family friends)
last christmas i was at my grandparent's house... and my uncle is kind of a swinger and has 3 children all from different mothers... well anyways the one we see the least happened to be there this christmas.... and he is technically... well.. a bastard.
Anyways he's really good at the piano, but has an AWEFUL singing voice. So out of nowhere he just busts out in song and starts playing the piano in the middle of the family room where everyone is sitting.... We (the normal people in my family) all looked at eachother extremely awkwardly and started to retreat to the kitchen..
Now that i think of it... behavior like this is exactly what I may try to emulate this year... but it would just be even better if other people were in on the joke!
or!
You could wear a Holiday Monocle and say it's to remember the birth of Christ!
or!
Rather than baking X-mas tree shaped cookies, you could tell members of your dysfunctional family you're collecting money to buy Dad a new flat screen TV. When approaching Dad, say you're collection money to buy Mom some jewelry and instead use that money to get a tattoo of "Christmas is Gay" on your chest. If your mom doesn't cry, punch her in the face.
or!
Rather than traditional Christmas Caroling, you could instead, announce at dinner that you have AIDS and will probably die before your parents will.
Keep in mind if you usually have AIDS (and I don't mean a house keeper or gardener), this technique will not work with you.
Happy Holidays
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The passage above speaks bout another fellow who liked to spoil "the party," with regard to Christmas. His name was Herod. Apparently he came up with the idea first, though.
That aside, the ideas you presented sound really funny. They'd be great for just doing something fun to weird people out. But why do this at a time that is so meaningful to so many people in your family? If it is to get a laugh, that is one thing. But if it is to spoil their time together or mock them, then I think you've got the wrong motive.
i was supposed to be doing christmas at my place, but that's not happening now for various reasons ... and npw i'm suddenly going to find myself at my brother's new house - which i've never been to - in the company of my other brother's brand new girlfriend who NO-ONE has met yet, having popped up on the scene the other day. mere weeks after him splitting up with his gf of 16 years.
i found all this out this very afternoon
oh, it's going to be a giggle
i'm going to take two bottles of good whisky, and my giant inflatable boxing gloves, and Rocky the Singing Lobster. Each of those fits into a grand plan that i'm formulating as i type. Mostly about punching my ten year old niece in the face with the inflatable boxing gloves to stop her biting me, the psycho. And distracting my mum from analysing this new girl with a singing lobster. And drinking the whisky until it all goes away