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dealing with the death of a friend...

ngon master
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almighty_gir ngon master
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/beds/bucks/herts/7677385.stm

i knew Gemma, through a mutual friend, and we hung out fairly regularly. i actually only heard about this today, and it's put me in such an awful mood.

i dunno what to do, really... i didn't know her well enough to grieve the way some people do. but i knew her enough to care, and to want to help her family.

from my own point of view, i feel really messed up and angry, and feel like "an eye for an eye" kinda thing... but i know that wouldn't help either.

i just want to do... SOMETHING. but i don't know what >_<

/end vent on the net (oh the irony...)

Replies

  • aesir
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    aesir polycounter lvl 18
    That's rough

    If you really need something to do, maybe a piece of art with her as the theme might be a cathartic release.
  • Wells
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    Wells polycounter lvl 18
    That's terrible. My condolences.

    I hope the shitbag who did this gets all he deserves.
  • pliang
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    pliang polycounter lvl 17
    Damn, well according to the description a nice charicature might help cope with it.
  • Target_Renegade
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    Target_Renegade polycounter lvl 11
    I wrote a musical ode for a friend that passed away in the asian tsunami. Being creative makes it personal and is always a good gesture.
  • notman
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    notman polycounter lvl 18
    Make sure to attend the funeral (if it hasn't happened already... or you haven't already attended). I'm assuming there are viewings in the UK like we have here. Sometimes it helps the family to have someone share memories with someone who interacted with her differently.

    I think other forms of expression, like art, poetry, or music are also cool. There's nothing you can do to undo her death, but there are other ways to comfort.
  • Em.
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    Em. polycounter lvl 17
    Sorry to hear about your loss.
    I'm with ya man, I lost a friend a couple of months ago to a car accident and had to put my cat Wilma of 22 years down over the weekend. I've been really moody and depressed as of late as a result. We all grieve differently and I think it's important to not question how you feel. Just because you didn't know someone very well, doesn't mean you can't cry your eyes out and vice versa. It would be nice to try to do a portrait of some sort of her or maybe you could make a contribution in her name to a charity she would have liked.

    Also, I'm with Sectaurs, I hope that fucker pays.
  • aniceto
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    aniceto polycounter lvl 18
    fuck man, thats awful! just thinking about losing a friend that way makes me want to poke someones eyes out >:[
  • SinisterUrge
    Why would someone do that?
  • greenj2
    aesir wrote: »
    If you really need something to do, maybe a piece of art with her as the theme might be a cathartic release.

    That's a great idea.

    Sorry for your loss and to hear about someone so young dying like that. I'd say take some solace in knowing she's at peace now and do what you can to support the people around you who knew her.
  • almighty_gir
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    almighty_gir ngon master
    i'm playing in a string quartet of 3 violins and a cello (i'll be on one of the violins), playing Pachelbel's Canon, at her funeral, as the coffin is lowered.

    it was her favorite piece of music, and she wanted to be married to it, so i and the three other friends performing it thought we should send her off to it. it's a happy tune...

    i think i'm still in shock, i don't feel sad, just angry right now.
  • Tumerboy
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    Tumerboy polycounter lvl 17
    wow man, I'm really sorry to hear about that. A friend of mine from college just dropped dead (not murdered) last week. I'm in the same boat, didn't know him well enough to truely grieve, but still have been feeling really crappy all week.

    Zach Cox was the art director at Santa Cruz Games for a while, just recently made the move to Activision I think.

    http://www.cogswell.edu/news/151.html
  • DarthWayne
    I'm relay sorry to hear that its hapened.

    Something similar happened to me 12 years back. A female friends I'd known for years was brutally raped, tortured and murdered over 12 hours in her home(hit the national news etc ). It screwed me up for a while as I was the last person to see her alive in public. All I can say is that the pain subsides in time and how I found a way through it was to put it all into my art and music. Someone never dies as long as you remember them.

    So I can understand what sort of a time your having right now...chin up dude.

    Wayne...
  • wim
  • notman
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    notman polycounter lvl 18
    i'm playing in a string quartet of 3 violins and a cello (i'll be on one of the violins), playing Pachelbel's Canon, at her funeral, as the coffin is lowered.

    it was her favorite piece of music, and she wanted to be married to it, so i and the three other friends performing it thought we should send her off to it. it's a happy tune...

    That should be an awesome tribute. Good luck with it and try not to stay too angry. I believe one way or another, that guy will get his returns.
  • ebagg
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    ebagg polycounter lvl 17
    Ugh that's horrible man. A few years back one of my classmates strangled his gf to death (another classmate of mine) then tried to commit suicide. I knew them both fairly well, especially the girl. Baffled the hell out of me because she was such a nice girl, not catty like many high school girls.

    Just gotta grieve and move forward, sadly. :(
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