[Graphic Novella] Wifebeater comic - critique please!

Snowfly

Haven't done one of these in a while...I threw this together over the weekend. Paint Tool SAI for pretty much everything.

The script's from a friend of friend...a bit lit major for my taste, but it seemed like an interesting non-videogamey story to draw. Getting the storytelling to come across was definitely a challenge. I think I failed big time.

For the rendering, Page 1 pretty much is the look I want to go for for the whole thing. Just the right balance of darks, mids, and clean vs. dirty areas. I got some good feedback last time I posted a comic here (ages ago), so once again, I'm putting up non-3D stuff for the black and green to tear apart.

rooster

fuck me, awesome work! some funny bits too.. that action movie poster with the grenade balls, and 'uproading'.. inspiring stuff :]

bounchfx

pftch, I enjoyed the read.

Snowfly

Heh, cheers guys. In case anyone's wondering, the movie poster subtitle translates to "This Bullet's For You!"

Yozora

its nice, but I really dislike that font... I managed to read through all of it but it was definitely not comfortable doing so!

Deathead

Very nice, I like Black and White Comics as it sets a really dark, and clouded feeling. Just like Sin City.

Sage

Nice. The font was hard to read at times.

karera

Nice style man! Go big!

pior

This is fantastic! More so for just a weekend worth of work!

However I agree about the font being painful to read. I would suggest switching to something more 'mechanical' like a Courier typewriter font. It would increase the contrast between text and pictures (as opposed to what you get from the current handdrawn fontface).
http://www.identifont.com/samples/microsoft/CourierNew.gif

I must say I'm not a great fan of the writing style either. It's a bit convoluted and trying to impress, with big words. However I like what you made of it!

Ever thought about trying the 'digital graphic novel' approach? Putting all this in video form with parallax backgrounds and such. I'm investigating that kind of things these days, it's quite fascinating.

On the art side, I love your shadow handling. Especially the girl shot in the first panel

Congrats, can't wait to see more!

BrodyB

Sage wrote: »

Nice. The font was hard to read at times.

Agreed. Font is difficult to read.

DarkAlleyEthics

Excellent, More, please!

FAT_CAP

Love it! Very jealous of your ability to get this done in just one weekend

rhoymand

yup, agreeing with everyone else. the typeface is kinda hard to read. especially cuz looks like its getting smaller/thinner/bolder from page to page.

check out: http://www.blambot.com/fonts.shtml

there are some good (and free) comic dialogue fonts. bottlerocket seems similar to yours and a little easier to read too.

arrangemonk

Tohama ftw!