Dyslexia sucks

Thegodzero

First off dyslexia sucks, it’s genetic and untreatable. Thankfully for me I only have a mild case, saving me from having to be in the "short bus" classes back in high school. Being a dyslexic I have always gravitated towards art, no words or numbers to get jumbled in my brain. I chose game art something I love; it seemed to work around my dyslexia.

Now after being in the industry for almost two years; during that time I have been put on probation once (due to slow progression) and have gotten in all my reviews that I’m not progressing fast enough.

I have come to realize that my dyslexia may be the cause. I have never used my dyslexia as a crutch before (nor do i want to) because I feel it unfair to those who have a more severe case. At the same time I feel that I’m trying just as hard as others around me yet am getting fucking over due to my dyslexia. At this point I feel to inform my producer that I’m dyslexic and what it means would seem like a copout. Like a “oh I can’t run today because I have bad knees, even if I did run last week” sort of thing because I didn’t tell him upfront.

I did tell my lead from the get go that I’m dyslexic but I don’t think he either believes me understands what it really means. I say that because I have done over 90% of the signs in the game. I don’t know what to do. If it was a new job it would be clear cut what to do but being as I have been at this job for almost two years its not.

:Note:
Who ever chose dyslexia as the term for people who have a hard time reading and writing should be shot. I had to copy and paste that fucking word every time.

BTW the mere fact that I'm talking about this freaks me out.

aesir

well, what are you looking for? Better raises? Sympathy? Not getting fired? I'd think about my goal in saying anything, and what possible reactions I'd get. Would the possible sympathy/pity be more annoying then being thought of as slower than others? I seriously doubt anyone would feel as though you were copping-out, most people aren't really like that unless they already disliked you from the start. I guess its mainly just up to you. I dont think it's as huge a decision as you're making it out to be, and I dont't think the reactions from people would be particularly strong, or that much would change. I'd just treat it as not a really big deal, and if it comes up that you're progressing slowly, then if you want to, bring up the fact that you're dyslexic. I seriously doubt you could bargain for a better raise just by going to your boss and telling him it. He'd think he was getting played for money since you'd never brought it up till now.

Thegodzero

aesir,

Your last two lines are why i posted. Thank you!

Why i typed all that up was to get the responses like yours. To better gage if it was a big deal or not or if my brain was making it one or not.

Asmuel

In what capacity does it affect your progression and/or what they criticize about you? I think it could be worth while talking to him about it if you think there are genuine and relevant instances where it becomes a roadblock, then they would probably be more sympathetic. But I wouldn't just be like "hey, I've got dyslexia, so you gotta give me some slack if my work sucks". Nah mean?

Thegodzero

asmuel,

Thats a really good idea, the goal is to be better at what i do and stop letting it get in my way. I don't want to have to pull that card. I think i'll ask my lead the specifics of what i need to work on and figure out ways to use what i'm working on to help move me forward. Because its all about learning the proprietary tools as far as i know. Art skill has nothing to do with dyslexia, its all on the other side of the brain.

Rens

yep,


i have dyslexia, pretty heavy aswell.

it took me 5 to 10 min to read through this, wich is freakn halarious and the reason i dont read big pieces of text. i dont read alot of books because the efford it takes is just to great.

i've done alot of extra classes untill highschool to get up to speed but its never enough.

i tried reading faster, but i dont seem to be able to keep up with it, wich is not a visual problem. im always like.. dyslexia comes with its ups and downs. i may be bad with words.. fuck it, but im brilliant with visual information, and i love it, i would not trade it for anything.

funny is that my dutch is getting wurst while my english is getting better. i dont wright alot of dutch things anymore, if it comes to correct spelling&grammar you can have a big laugh.

anyway, i know what its like
i dont tell people, unles it is relevent, not that im ashamed of it, tons of people have it in all shapes and sizes. if you think its relevent, just tell them you need some more time to work trough it.

RickA

To be honest, I can't really relate very much to you as I don't have any dyslexia at all. However, the following sentence struck me as being odd: 'I say that because I have done over 90% of the signs in the game'.

Now I'm going to assume that you weren't entirely comfortable doing all these signs, and that they may been part of the reason for 'not progressing fast enough'. Surely it's in your lead's best interest to know that you are dyslexic so he can play to your strengths rather than your weaknesses?

If the 'not progressing fast enough' is to do with the tools you need to use, then that too should be able to be helped fairly easily if the tools are inhouse. Talk to the programmers of the tools and ask them to provide images for specific things.

I feel it would be in everyone's best interest to know that you are are dyslexic as then they can take it into account.

Please excuse me if I've come off to strongly. I'm half-handicapped myself, and this is just my personal opinion. It wasn't meant to offend in any way.

notman

I would seek out professional help on the dyslexia. There are groups that help you work with dyslexia better. At the same time, you could get diagnosed for it and have something to prove to the boss. Otherwise people tend to think it's a joke when you say, 'I'm dyslexic'. I use to say it all the time (as a joke), then a coworker near me told me he was... then I felt sort of like an ass, so I stopped doing it. But I know many others still think of it as a joke.
To be honest, I've started wondering if I seriously am slightly dyslexic. Problem is, I don't know exactly what to look for.

Jeremy Lindstrom

I'd ask why they think you aren't progressing fast enough, do you have to read alot in your position? I'm not trying to offend, but once you know the job, you get used to the positions of where things are and don't have to hunt and read for them again.

It sounds a lot like ADHD, with slow progression and stuff. I'm just trying to see what is it in your particular job currently is hampering your progression in your eyes that you believe it to be your dyslexia?

Sage

Don't you have to read to use your 3d app? Do you get confused when using the tools? Just think about what makes you slow, I imagine that's what they mean by you are not progressing fast enough. Or does it have to do with learning new things? Then decide if it's just bad habits or your condition. It might be that your supervisor doesn't like you for whatever reason or still sees you for when you first started and were put on probation. If that is the case maybe you are better off getting new job.

Do you know anyone you can talk to that works in the industry so he/she can see how you do things and let you know if you are just too slow at the moment? Are you learning a new 3d app at this job? I suggest you narrow things down, maybe just asking for feedback on how to improve might help.

Good luck.

Alex

Thegodzero

Rens, thank you for posting. Its good to know that i'm not alone. I love to read books but don't any more because it pisses me off how long it takes to read each page.

Dekard, I think you might be rite about the ADHD thing. After looking up the symptoms and fitting most all of them. That and with the connection between it and dyslexia i made an appointment to see if i do have ADHD. At least with ADHD there is treatment.

All and all i'm really glad i posted this allot of great ideas/feedback in here. Just wanted to say thanks and that it means allot to me to get this kind of feed back.

HonkyPunch

Dyslexia does suck, I'm a fairly good reader, but will see words that no one else does and can interpret sentences entirely differently. Writing is terrible for me, and if it wasn't for the spell check built into my browser my posts would be riddled with unintentional spelling errors.
Math is a blur, i can't do simple stuff in my head because it gets lost.
I can relate to what you're saying, and I agree about it sucking. ADHD is a bitch as well, because it makes you feel like shit when you can't focus on doing something, no matter how much you love doing it.
I'd love to help but i'm kind of stuck here too

Thegodzero

You seems to have the exact same problem i have, only i can do math in my head but not as well on paper because i jumble up the numbers reading them. I crunch the numbers in my head then write down the solution for when i loose my place in my head like a save. I used to get in trouble in HS math classes because i didn't show the work that i was supposed to.

HonkyPunch

Honestly, i've never been able to do anything number related, and any ideas I have just get lost somewhere between my head and the paper, or whatever, and after a while it really gets to me.
Do you have any suggestions on making math easier? It's killing me right now.

Thegodzero

haha yeah i get up all the time and walk into another room to do something but half way there i forget what it was. Now i make sure i have lots of yellow sticky notes and write down information.

As for math do it all with something that shows your work. That way you can see what you have done and it helps remind you where your going. loosing your train of thought in math pisses me off too. Word problems yeah i have no clue they fuck with me to no end. I started taking ginkgo biloba, i found it helps me hold on to my thoughts longer.

hawken

even so. There's no cure.

My Father has it pretty bad and can't read jack.

Although it is understood more now than when he was a kid. Back then they just though you were fik.

So chances are your lead will understand if you tell him, but unless you have been tested for it and have something to prove, it's not going to change much.