Please add another one

tpe · Mar 2007

A man walks into a bar, sits down on a bench and orders a cold one. He swigs down the beer, looks in his pocket, cringes and orders another. He gulps down that one, looks in his pocket again, cringes and orders yet another one. This goes on for at least an hour and a half.

Finally the barman, bursting with curiosity, says,
"I know it's none of my business mate, but I have to ask. Why the 'drink, look in pocket, cringe and order another one' routine?"

"Well," slurred the man, "There's a picture of my wife in my pocket. When she starts to look good, then it's time for me to go home."

A skeleton walks into a bar and says....

I'll have a pint of beer and a mop, please.

tim

Matabus · Mar 2007

I don't get it.

Jaco · Mar 2007

Is this like a 'post your crappy jokes kinda thread?

Why do squirrels sleep on their stomachs?
To keep their nuts warm!

Okay I'm done, back in my cage...

Dukester · Mar 2007

A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers.

After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says, "It looks like you blew a seal."

"No, no," the penguin replies, "It's just ice cream."

low odor · Mar 2007

Ha...

Woman walks into a bar with a duck under her arm....

Bartender say: "Scuse me...you cant bring that pig in here."

Lady says: "I'm sorry but this isnt a pig it's a duck"

Bartender says "I was talking to the duck"