gauss' pompous best of 2006 movie list
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The Onion AV Club is having its second annual Film Poll, where you rate your top 5 films and just generally give your opinions about the films of the past year. Since I not only love movies, but am also a snob and a jerk, here is my response to that poll. The deadline for the film poll is February 2nd, so be sure to mail in your own top 5 to filmpoll@theonion.com (and post them in this thread)! Now sit back and enjoy my armchair criticism and soundbyte-worthy witticisms.
my top 5 movies of 2006:
#5: Casino Royale
Reboot Batman, reboot Bond. Here's to hoping that all our favorite characters will be as smartly rejuvenated by careful casting choices and savvy back-to-basics franchise management. While not a perfect Bond film, it's more than enough to forgive the former self-parody of this once (and now again) venerable series.
#4: Borat: Cultural Learning of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
While it boasts little of the trenchant social commentary it's been hailed for, Borat is still the most out-and-out funny movie in a long time. Sacha Baron Cohen's disappearance into his character is sublime (and more than a little creepy).
#3: Brick
Brick might have landed a #1 or #2 spot, if it weren't for all the heavy hitters this year. As it is, Rian Johnson will just have to content himself with having made a devilishly clever and assured debut film that looks five times as good as its budget would suggest. And just when did Joseph Gordon-Levitt decide to become thoroughly awesome?
#2: The Departed
Absolute magic. With its formidable on-screen talent and even more incredible team behind the camera (Scorsese, Schoonmaker, Monahan), The Departed manages to be even better than its film-dork-fantasy credit roster would suggest. Once this monster of a film starts rolling, you know it won't stop until more than a few of its A-List cast is leaking viscera.
The fact that Scorsese puts together some of the best damn soundtracks ever is just icing on the cake.
#1: Children of Men
How many films manage to be this grim and yet this hopeful? A startling tour of our own near future, realized with a perfect blend of great cinematography and digital effects. The last few years have shown that digital imagery can give us anything we can imagine, but rarely if ever has the power been harnessed so well in service of the story and not for its own sake (George Lucas, we're looking in your direction). Provocative in many respects, but most of all for having the biggest heart of any movie in 2006.
(As seen after the credits roll:) Shanti, Shanti, Shanti.
The Next Five
- Apocalypto is more than worth watching, if only for its phantasmagorical city sequence.
- The Prestige cements Christopher Nolan's place as one our very best popular filmmakers.
- Inside Man shows that Spike Lee knows how to handle a thriller, without forgetting his edge.
- The Descent should be considered a new horror classic--here's hoping for more of the same.
- Mission Impossible III does good by J.J., but Hoffman steals the show with his understated menace.
Honorable Mentions
Go to Slither for sly horror comedy, Revolver for Ritchie trying to grow up a little, Night Watch for ponderous (but fun) Russian vampirism, District B13 for parkour a-go-go, and Silent Hill for most faithful recreation of a great videogame's atmospherics, even if it still isn't that good of a movie.
The Honorary Paul Haggis "Uncomfortable = Profound" Screenwriting Award
Goes to Guillermo Arriaga for Babel. See the Moroccan boy masturbate to thoughts of his sister! See the Japanese deaf-mute girl lose every shred of dignity! See Oscar Winner Cate Blanchett urinate in a pan! Okay, so that last scene is actually kind of affecting, but only because we'd all like to be held by a rugged and caring Brad Pitt. Otherwise, Babel misses the mark nearly as wide as last year's stinker Crash.
The "Hey, It's Like I Just Paid Ten Dollars For Someone To Shit In My Mouth" Award
Goes to X-Men III: The Last Stand. The future blueprint for pissing away a good franchise and pissing off fans.
Movies by Directors Who Should Know Better
Miami Vice was technically impressive, but mostly one big misstep by Mann; A Scanner Darkly had great potential but lost the plot somewhere in the drugs and animation; Lady in the Water is decent but sloppy in ways that Shyamalan has never been before; Black Dahlia gets all of De Palma's pet themes in but misses the fun; Equilibrium was pretty good, so what the hell happened with Ultraviolet?
I Can See Wayans Brothers Movies Everywhere, But Not These Movies
I still haven't gotten to see Idiocracy, The Fountain, or the Science of Sleep. Thanks, Hollywood.
Replies
I'd also mention that I really liked what they did with the subtitles in NightWatch. Instead of just typical boring subtitles, they actually aim to fit with what is going on in the scene. A nice touch. Hoping Day Watch is out here in the near future.
No Pan's Labyrinth? Wah??
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Wouldn't it be considered a 2007 movie? Technically it came out on Dec 25th 2006 just days before the close of 06 but its still playing where I live. I'm not sure where they choose to draw the line on movies that straddle the year divide?
Officially it might be by release day? but on Gauss's clock it might fall in 07, dunno for sure. If it didn't make the list I would be interested in hearing why not?
Seriously, as well made "The Departed" might be, remakes should never be on any top list, or only if they are *a lot* better than the original, which in this case is not true (the original is about as good I would say).
The Inside Man beats out Blood Diamond for number five on my list.
District B13 was good. X-Men 3 just proved that the whole X-Men movie franchise really was "We heart Wolverine" above anything else. Lady in the Water i thought was good but M Night casting himself as 'the most important character' was poor judgement. other than those few i haven't seen any of the other movies (Slither and Ultraviolet i added to Netflix just yesterday).
i would add V for Vendetta, Priates of the Caribbean 2 as pretty good movies from last year.
With its formidable on-screen talent and even more incredible team behind the camera (Scorsese, Schoonmaker, Monahan)
[/ QUOTE ]Any relation, Gauss?
Lupus: it's a shame that they seemed to have dumped the Night Watch release in the US with rather less pomp than they seemed to be gearing up for. It's kind of ponderous and very Russian (both good and bad), but I definitely liked it enough to be keen on seeing Day Watch as well. Good call on the subtitles.
nitzmoff: it kills me, I know... I'm in Singapore right now, but I still haven't been able to catch Pan's Labrynth, and I needed to get this thing written up. So yeah, I guess I'm going to count it for 07.
Vig: yeah, I'm trying to see it within the next day or two, and when I do I'll mention it
rawkstar: Children of Men is required viewing, personally speaking. If only for crazy gritty future London!
JK: you're talking like it's the Dukes of Hazzard movie. I really don't think it's fair to call The Departed a remake, given that so much of what makes the movie what it is (the cast, the Boston-soaked script, the music, etc.) are particular to its take on the story, even if it isn't an original story. There is definitely a lot of recycling in movies these days, especially with old, shitty slasher flicks now, but The Departed isn't one you should be angry about
Zcubed: yeah, I definitely wrestled with the ordering of the top three spots. Departed might have won top, as it is in many ways a tighter movie, but Children of Men is just so singular in too many ways.
Luxury: technically was released in 2005 (so sayeth IMDB), but it saw a very limited release in 2006. Had to drive to Chicago to see it myself, so with those numbers I'm definitely counting it as an '06 movie.
arsh: tell me about it, it kills me. If I had gotten to see The Fountain and Science of Sleep (and Pan's Labrynth), I think my list may have shaped up differently.
Ash: yeah, forgot about Pirates 2, that was definitely a bit of fun. Overall I wasn't a big fan of V, but I do think it probably does deserve at least an honorable mention
Nerd Groupie: step to it!
Jackablade: haha, if there isn't (and I don't think there is), I should certainly claim some sort kinship with William Monahan--or at least sponge off his name to launch my own screenwriting career
really, some people!
About the Departed beeing a remake:
Well it isn't really recycling story elements but more or less a 1:1 copy just set in a different city. Even some of the sets are made to look like the ones in Infernal Affairs
( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0338564/ ). And the original isn't really old and shitty either, since it is a 2002 movie.
So yeah it is a pretty enjoyable movie to just sit down and watch, but just as copies of famous paintings do not belong in a museum (if it isn't a exibition on great fraudsters
Oh and Per: that are some of the worst comparisms I have read in months
It did take some getting used to, ponderous being a good word. But being part of a trilogy I want to see the rest now! Might download Daywatch, and Duskwatch is due this year.
Children of Men came out on DVD here last week I think it was (maybe the week before). Think I'll go rent it tonight, since it never came to our local bloody cinema (grr).
I may be in the minority, but I thought Click was really good. Started as a goofy comedy, but then became quite serious and sad.
I have to agree with Per on some things as well. I liked Miami Vice. But I've also a fan of his previous works (HEAT, Collateral).
Pirates2 as was said, had insane CG. But the story was pretty limp. And MI3 was certainly the best of the series. JJ Abrams is fantastic (being a huge LOST fan), and Hoffman made a cold, methodical enemy. Good stuff
So has anyone checked out the sequels to Infernal Affairs? I got the first one on my rental list...just wondering if the sequels live up.
I saw Lucky Number Slevin last night, enjoyed that quite a bit. It starts of with some very serious plotline, then around the middle starts trying to be a tad too cute with all the witty banter, but ends well the way it started, nicely dark and serious.
Nightwatch felt like one long drawn out Sci Fi original. Pure cheese.
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lmao
EXACTLY!
Another film I enjoyed was Right At Your Door. A bit like Saw in that basically the entire film takes place in one small location.
- The Descent should be considered a new horror classic--here's hoping for more of the same.
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Um, what? I downloaded and watched this at your sole recomendation. While it was amusing, it was the typical hollywood jump out and scare you horror. Nothing new to see here, unless someone is so enamored with the semi originally setting that they forgive every other aspect. It was good, but come on, better than Pirates 2? Nope, not no how, not no way.
better than Pirates 2? Nope, not no how, not no way.
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Pirates 2 had good visuals, nothing else. 20 minutes of story thrown into a 2 hour movie with way over done "action" scenes which got boring after the first 2 minutes, but continued to repeat the exact same gags for the next 20 anyways.
The first pirates was great, but you're kidding yourself if you consider the second anything but a weak and lazy attempt to keep a franchise going to get more money out of it.
I can see how you could feel that way about Children of Men, but to me it just doesn't feel quite as much like Oscar-bait. It's a little too weird, a little too dedicated to its own thing (which is relevancy to the point of near prescience) to really be a proper American Beauty kind of bullshit parade. If Children of Men really wanted that kind of Oscar nod, Clive Owens' character would be gay and wisecracking about his go-nowhere midlife crisis the whole film.
Casino Royale: I might have to wait till the second Craig-helmed Bond, but I'm ready to agree he's my favorite Bond ever, actually (gasp).
As far as Miami Vice goes, I think I should qualify my fairly ambiguous remarks on that film. I agree it's on the whole it's a refreshingly mature and sophisticated film in a landscape dominated by generally dumber fare, but that doesn't excuse Mann's slippage in other areas. I felt that for all the considerable gains made in his digital video aesthetic and other technical proficiencies, he's let the characters, the meat of any movie, kinda slip away. I cringe just thinking about Foxx's playing his own star-obsessed self on screen, while Colin Farrel mumbles his way through the worst southern accent ever and pretending he has any chemistry with Gong Li. That's why I put Miami Vice where it is on my list--if the film had kept me interested in the characters, Miami Vice would easily have made top 10.
Re: MI3, I agree it's by far the best of the series. I do like how the series seems to change completely depending on who is directing, though. Part I was very De Palma, Part II was very Woo (sadly, very post-HK Woo, which is to say, mostly garbage), and now Part III is like one big episode of Alias, which is a very good thing. You can tell Abrams cut his teeth with television--MI3 is paced like they're trying to stuff another scene in before cutting to commercial.
Poop: Per's right about Pirates 2, which is why it didn't really make my list. There are some really wonderful setpieces throughout the film, especially all the wonderfully cartoonish physics-related stuff (physics puzzles lol)... but despite all that it has going for it, it has no magic. Much like the second Matrix movie (not to open up THAT can of vomit), it just didn't feel like it had much reason for existing.
I was happy to see the characters again (well, not Bloom, since he'll never be leading man material), but the magic just wasn't there anymore.
The Descent is a film that made my "next five" because while it's far from an ambitious film, it's made with a great deal of craft and has some strong performances. I think the Descent is definitely the best horror movie of last year; I don't really get why you'd compare it to Pirates 2 in any way, but if you must, Descent is on the list because it does what it does well, while Pirates 2 just... well, I guess it doesn't.
Though I was sorely disappointed to see no spaceships escaping from flaming mineshafts just in time. Talk about false advertising, GEEZE.
I just don't see how it can get such a good rating at imdb.
I get your beef with Hellboy. But I deplore you to give PL another shot someday though, and particularly as a concept artist you should listen to the Del Toro interview that I linked in the other thread. He has a rich use of language that is mesmerizing. Stick with it and you'll feel rewarded.
Couldn't possibly agree more about your no.1 choice though, and it didn't even enter my head whilst viewing that it would in any way shape or form have been conceptualized as an award vehicle. Did it actually win anything anyway? Not sure, but I don't think it was in the right audience category for that at all.
honestly, i don't need any entreaties to stick with Pan's Labyrinth; i feel just about the same as when i came out of the theater, which is to say mostly undecided. it's definitely one of the better films by far of last year, and i think it will age quite well. there are definitely problems, as all films invariably have, but there is more than enough there to make it worth revisiting. i'm just not raving about it and putting it high on my list because for the time being, the problems impact the film's significant merits.
i guess i'm most conflicted by what i see as two very competing tendencies in Del Toro as a filmmaker. there are parts of Pan's Labyrinth that cry out for the film to be considered as a very high brow film: the reserved white-on-black intro credits (an approach i seem to enjoy more and more, somehow, mostly because of Scorsese), the production in Spanish instead of English, the very high concept plot, and the very 'stately' pacing. all these things conspire to produce a certain mood, and (for better and worse) a certain set of expectations.
but in tandem with Del Toro the arty kind of filmmaker, you've got the Del Toro we're much more familiar with: Del Toro the populist creature feature filmmaker. the Hellboy Del Toro, the Blade 2 Del Toro.
Del Toro is a huge nerd; he knows it, and we know it, and its part of his charm. and its that side of him that brings a very vivid imagination to bear during Labyrinth's excellent fantasy sequences, as well as the film's overall stylization. not to mention the horror movie director's predisposition to dwell on gore and torture scenes (an aside: what's with the overall increase of torture in film and television?).
it's the competition of the two that gets him into trouble, if you ask me. something of an identity crisis. the fantasy plot is presented in a very simplistic manner, appropriate for it being a children's fairy tale; but then he passes off to the other Del Toro, and the movie delves into the historical war scenario stuff. very adult territory, and, with the torture scenes, even horror movie kind of stuff. The AV Club review (can you tell i'm a fan of their reviewers?) makes a pretty convincing argument that the final 10 minutes of the film unite the two disparate portions of the film, but i'm not quite convinced yet. it is a very affecting ending, but i feel almost as if the film exists in a grey half-light between two other films that could have been.
Del Toro could have gone all the way with it being a children's movie, yet kept it very dark and still with the same rich historical/political context--if you don't think it's possible, watch "Return to Oz" and tell me you can't make a fucking super freaky kids movie and still get away with a PG rating.
or he could have gone the other route--make it a more fully adult film, with far more nuance and ambiguity--not presenting the fairy tale in quite such a child-like manner. i know, i know what you'll say, that the film is just chock full of nuance and artistry, that i'm just not seeing it!
it seems that there are just too many loose ends, too many glossed over opportunities to unite the two plot strains in a more coherent and artistically impressive manner. i think it's far and away Del Toro's best film to date, and also his most personal film (no mean feat)... but that it's still a little half-baked. I think because this is his most artistic film yet, because he worked so far outside his usual comfort zones, that he feels like he just hit the ball out of the artistic expression park. on his own terms, i guess it might have been, but i can't help but feel like the ball's rolling in the grass just past second base. Ofelia's little quests seem primed with meaning, but Del Toro doesn't take the extra step to make those encounters resonate; it seems like he's hurrying to get back to some of the less important particulars of the adult characters and their world. but there again, i think his tendencies betray him--the Captain is a little bit too much of a cartoon to feel like he's giving the historical context as much weight as he intends. Del Toro is using his filmmaking skills, his particular vocabulary (mostly action/horror) to make this movie, but i just don't think it's serving his aim as well as it might.
okay, okay... i've been going on for much too long now. i think i've expressed how muddled my own perspective on the film is
can you tell i'm in an airport waiting for a plane? if only Changi Airport didn't have free net access, then maybe you'd all be spared this blabbering!
The Descent is a film that made my "next five" because while it's far from an ambitious film, it's made with a great deal of craft and has some strong performances. I think the Descent is definitely the best horror movie of last year
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While we are talking about the Descent, there is a quite similar movie called "The Cave" ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0402901/ ) of which imdb says it's a 2005 movie, but I am not so sure about that (at least not here in Germany
Anyways it is pretty close to "The Descent" in many ways, but in my oppinion actually better, since for one it depends less on the "wow now that was a sudden loud noise and a flash like fast cut" kind of "horror" you sady see so often in horror movies lately. And it also has these great scuba cave diving elements and a cave of much more epic dimensions
But than again, maybe it is precisely because it is more of a action flick and less of a horror movie that makes it more appealing to me...
I loved Brick (yes! some modern noir at last!) and the Departed (best dialogue in years)too, wouldn't have put your other choices so high as you did though, not when the likes of Good Night and Good Luck / Capote were on offer.
I enjoyed children of men, but more because it was just frank and unopinionated, i was relieved to see it wasn't an american director, i don't think american studio interests could have avoided the temptation to get all biblical and spell things out too much. If nothing else, bump starting the getaway car was a great laugh. I loved seeing miserable whinging brits and all the injokes at britain in general though noone else in the cinema seemed to be in on the laugh.
Pan's labyrinth would have to be my number one last year though, best bit of fantasy i've seen I'd say. I love the LOTR series, but thats visual action spectacular and not real mythology in the same way that Pan was.
More than anything else, I loved Pan because it wasn't so tainted with the backward puritan ethics and values, the disneyfication of fantasy if you like, that generally ruin all fantasy endeavours.
It was refreshing to see Pan portrayed as something other than the fluffy drunken pipe player, to see him back to the old stories out of greek myth , to get back to the original allergory of pre christian times. I'm a pretty big fan of mythology of most cultures so this was a special treat for me and I enjoyed that it could play out on any level the viewer wished.
r.