Free Life Advice

TomDunne

Do not, under any circumstances, attempt a 5K run (or walk, or crawl) when the weathermen issue a so-called "heat advisory." I'm pretty sure that's like the meteorologists' secret code for "may cause spontaneous human combustion." It's a heat index of about 105 degrees here today, with the sort of humid that will crush your lungs like a vice. On the one hand, I'm clearly one hardcore motherfucker, but on the other hand, I may die in the next 30 minutes. Bleh.

Lee3dee

don't play tennis with the ball launcher for an hour. Learned my lesson last night. After 30 mins of the workout my body was feeling the pain of agressive movement. the next 30 mins was even worse. It was great exercise for my fat-computer-sitting-body, but I definately hurt this morning

sonic

don't drink your own urine/water mix out of a gatorade bottle, then tell people "oh, it's just powerade and water!"... the bubbles give it away

Mongrelman

Do not run a few laps around a bicycle track (cause you don't have a bike) on a typical Saudi summer day of 50 degrees.

Your throat WILL feel like a heavily used part of the motorway.

Malekyth

Do not, under any circumstance, allow yourself to be sewn inside the carcass of a donkey.

Just trust me.

KDR_11k

Do not join the army. Heat warning or not, you'll run those fourty kilometers in full gear.

hawken

I never give advice to anyone. not unless they pay me

ebagg

Never ever be lazy and not use your leg muscles for a long amount of time, then do a leg weight machine or attempt lugging lots of weight up and down hills. You will be gimped for half a week.

JKMakowka

Don't listen to advise from people you don't really know

Daz

neither a borrower nor a lender be.

I just made that up, honest!

Justin Meisse

Don't eat the brown acid

Joao Sapiro

when you wake up and you cant move, dont worry, you are dead.

[edit] never , bue NEVER idkfa on heretic.

Luxury

When learning to rollerskate at a rollerrink - make sure that you learn to turn both counter-clockwise & clockwise. Because when you go counter-clockwise 90% of the time, that other 10% will make you fall and sprain your wrist.

sledgy

Watch out where the huskies go. Don't you eat that yellow snow.

Mishra

[ QUOTE ]
Watch out where the huskies go. Don't you eat that yellow snow.

[/ QUOTE ]

damnit i was going to say that. people always get to quote zappa before i do.

do not attempt to play any instrument with your eye, unless of course you think the eyepatch thing is attractive.

Ryno

Don't punch someone who has a helmet on, even if you are wearing padded gloves.

Neo_God

While you may think it is cool to leap through the air with an axe and strike something...don't do it, especially if what you are trying to hit is hard. Because the axe will recoil and strike you in the face.

Joao Sapiro

never ever have a opencanvas with johny, unless you want to have nightmares for the rest of etternity.

Lee3dee

"money doesn't grow on trees" or so I've heard many times.

ElysiumGX

DO NOT PRESS THE SHINY RED BUTTON!!!

gauss

my advice: stop it, just stop it. I don't think it's funny, and neither will the gerbil once you're done with it.

The3DGuy

after you are done having sex, don't slingshot the condom to the other side of the room.

SHEPEIRO

never leap across a stream into long grass.

evil hidden pipes may be sticking vertically out of the ground, and brocken foot is the result

KeyserSoze

What's this "heat index" crap? Here in Chico, it's supposed to get up to 110 by Sunday, and that's the ACTUAL temperature... not no "heat index" mumbo jumbo. Monday afternoon I'm going to be riding my bike home from work... I'm definitely not looking forward to that .


[ QUOTE ]
when you wake up and you cant move, dont worry, you are dead.

[/ QUOTE ]

Either that, or you're experiencing sleep paralysis. I've had this happen to me a couple times in the past, and it's pretty scary when you don't know what the hell is going on.

Frankie

have a good time, all the time

NuclearTes

- Do not expect to break your personal record for running to the station on a very hot and moisty summer afternoon. You WILL miss that train. Exams or no exams...

- Keep yourself properly hydrated unless there are not enough restrooms.

Rhinokey

do not pay hawken for advice

rooster

pay me for advice

steady

Never start a thread on an internet forum asking for life advice
PWNT

ElysiumGX

don't tell your mother.

Daz

from a taxi driver a few weeks ago:

"as long as you're working for somebody else, you're working toward their goals, not yours".

Cabbies clearly are the Oracles of truth in this world.

Also, in trying to make some life changing decisions lately and failing miserably, somebody just said to me "take the option that will make you mosty happy on a day to day basis" and I thought that was pretty sound advice.