Morbid Drunks rule! (skip if you dislike vents...)
polycounter lvl 18
Usually I'm not one to do such things, but when one has had some whiskey put into the body, I suppose one could feel more inclined to do such things as such as this. It's so fucking sad when I think that I have to turn to a message board with such things. But then again, I can get a real opinion on this, because you people could really care less about sparing my feelings, christ you don't even know me, so what the fuck?
I'm so fucking young (19, almst 20), I shouldn't have feelings like this now, No Not now! I'm just so confused right now. I told my girlfriend that all I want is her happiness, and it's true, it's really true, because her happiness brings me happiness, it's really a lovely chain. I then told her, and beleive me this was so outragously difficult to say to her that I barely could, and it was "If leaving me will make you happy, then so be it". Good god, I have never been so selfless in my life. I wonder if she knows how hard it was for me to say that, but it is true.
I mean, if she leaves me, then yes, she leaves me, I will go on. I mean, any girl would be lucky to have me, I am clean, I dress well, I can cook, I'm fairly witty, I havea great taste in music and movies, I'm a great lover and I can give fantastic oral sex, which is something I know the ladies can appreciate. But the problem is, is that I am extremely picky ,which is why when I met her I was so astounded that such a female existed in this world. God, it made me so happy, and this past year and 2 months has been the happiest year and 2 months ever, christ I dropped 30 pounds (putting me at a nice and healthy weight), and I am almost certain it is because she made me happy, and my body just decided to boost up my metabolism, plus I wanted to be a bit more fit for her, even though she says she likes my belly, which is another thing that is so wonderful, I don't feel very pressured or embarresed by any extra pudge. I am just so afraid lighting will not strike twice. I was once told that there are plenty of fish in the sea...to which I responded, yes, but that sea is very polluted. Because frankly, I am such a bastard it's not even funny.
She's also upset because her friend is very sick right now, the friend of hers that made me mad at her in the first place, which pretty much jump started this whole mess. But you know what? While I never met this guy, I hope he gets better, because I know his health will make her happy, and that's all I really want right now, I just want to see her warm smile again. Everytime I do get to see her, I feel like it may be the last time I get to look at her face with the affection of me being her boyfriend. Because if we do break up it will be so difficult, because we have such similar interests that it will be close to impossible to avoid eachother when we're both in the city (Philadelphia). And I don't want to have to look at her with that awkward look of "oh yeah, there's you, I'm not going to say hi, but you know what I mean"
One of the bigger things that's getting to me though, is that she really is the only person who has cared for me. I had never felt such affection before, I mean, my own parents have never told me they loved me, not that I can remember at least, which can just add loads of "fucked up" to their kids. But she did love me, I don't know if she still does, she told me even if we broke up she'd still love me, but I suppose not in the way that I think of it, or something like that.
I know some may think that 19 is a little young to be in love, but you know, how many end up spending their life lonely and miserable, how many end up settling just because they want to just share a bed with someone? I feel like I met the person I want to be with, I could just relate to her so well, no matter what topic was brought up we could talk about, nothing was taboo to us. I could even just look at her and know what she was feeling, and she could do the same to me. I mean, this may sound silly, but we were getting to the point where we could just be very comfortable around eachother, I mean, if a fart got out, it was not an embarassing situation, it was fine, we got to that level of comfort with eachother. We also shared the same sexual interests, we even matched exactly, I mean, I know not many may care to hear this but we shared a Sado-masochistic sexual relationship, me being the top her being the bottum for those of you who know fetish terms. What are the odds, that I would meet a girl who was perfect mentally for me and phyiscally for me, and then even matched my sexual interests, really, fuck. Then I got jealous because she was spending a large amount of time with a co-worker, and I spoke up about it, and I just fucked everything up, because now she's unsure if she wants to be with me, she doesn't like the feeling of monogamy, yet she loves to talk about weddings and the like. I just feel so confused and I have no idea what's going to happen. But that's life I suppose. It's so damn hard remaining optimistic about all this though, it really is. I've never been so worried about something, and I never thouht I'd ever be worried about something such as this. But truthfully that was when I figured I'd be alone for the most of my life (it takes a certain disposition to be accept such a life at such a young age).
I really wish I had a smoke right now too, I havn't smoked in 4 years or so, but I could really go for a pack of reds right now.
Finally, I can't understand why I'm listening to John Cale, his music is on par with hearing a recording of someone saying (Life's not good...I wish I could help, but nope, it's pretty futile, my friend. Want a drink?)
you really need not respond to this, I just feels better typing this out, so at least I know people may know what is going on.
I don't even remember everything in this thread now. But truthfully I just want things to be better, but who wouldn't right?
But this did make me happy, this past valetines day she made me this huge gaudi ornate valentine. The other night it fell of my wall, I am one to easily take things as omens, when awoke and saw that it was no longer on my wall, I felt my stomach ache and my heart sink, but when I got up, assuming to find it just fucked up from falling on the floor, to my suprise it was laying perfectly on it's back, no damage done to it. now this is something that is very heavy on the front ,and if it fell to the floor it really should have landed face down, and probably knock some of the things that were attached to it. But seeing it there, as it landed as safely as it could, it made me smile. Because I felt that it was something similar to a sign, that while it may seem like your relationship is dwindleing,but you two will be good in the end. and you know what? I really hope so, I really do, but who would hope for things to be bad in the end? But if they do end badly, life goes on I suppose.
I'm so fucking young (19, almst 20), I shouldn't have feelings like this now, No Not now! I'm just so confused right now. I told my girlfriend that all I want is her happiness, and it's true, it's really true, because her happiness brings me happiness, it's really a lovely chain. I then told her, and beleive me this was so outragously difficult to say to her that I barely could, and it was "If leaving me will make you happy, then so be it". Good god, I have never been so selfless in my life. I wonder if she knows how hard it was for me to say that, but it is true.
I mean, if she leaves me, then yes, she leaves me, I will go on. I mean, any girl would be lucky to have me, I am clean, I dress well, I can cook, I'm fairly witty, I havea great taste in music and movies, I'm a great lover and I can give fantastic oral sex, which is something I know the ladies can appreciate. But the problem is, is that I am extremely picky ,which is why when I met her I was so astounded that such a female existed in this world. God, it made me so happy, and this past year and 2 months has been the happiest year and 2 months ever, christ I dropped 30 pounds (putting me at a nice and healthy weight), and I am almost certain it is because she made me happy, and my body just decided to boost up my metabolism, plus I wanted to be a bit more fit for her, even though she says she likes my belly, which is another thing that is so wonderful, I don't feel very pressured or embarresed by any extra pudge. I am just so afraid lighting will not strike twice. I was once told that there are plenty of fish in the sea...to which I responded, yes, but that sea is very polluted. Because frankly, I am such a bastard it's not even funny.
She's also upset because her friend is very sick right now, the friend of hers that made me mad at her in the first place, which pretty much jump started this whole mess. But you know what? While I never met this guy, I hope he gets better, because I know his health will make her happy, and that's all I really want right now, I just want to see her warm smile again. Everytime I do get to see her, I feel like it may be the last time I get to look at her face with the affection of me being her boyfriend. Because if we do break up it will be so difficult, because we have such similar interests that it will be close to impossible to avoid eachother when we're both in the city (Philadelphia). And I don't want to have to look at her with that awkward look of "oh yeah, there's you, I'm not going to say hi, but you know what I mean"
One of the bigger things that's getting to me though, is that she really is the only person who has cared for me. I had never felt such affection before, I mean, my own parents have never told me they loved me, not that I can remember at least, which can just add loads of "fucked up" to their kids. But she did love me, I don't know if she still does, she told me even if we broke up she'd still love me, but I suppose not in the way that I think of it, or something like that.
I know some may think that 19 is a little young to be in love, but you know, how many end up spending their life lonely and miserable, how many end up settling just because they want to just share a bed with someone? I feel like I met the person I want to be with, I could just relate to her so well, no matter what topic was brought up we could talk about, nothing was taboo to us. I could even just look at her and know what she was feeling, and she could do the same to me. I mean, this may sound silly, but we were getting to the point where we could just be very comfortable around eachother, I mean, if a fart got out, it was not an embarassing situation, it was fine, we got to that level of comfort with eachother. We also shared the same sexual interests, we even matched exactly, I mean, I know not many may care to hear this but we shared a Sado-masochistic sexual relationship, me being the top her being the bottum for those of you who know fetish terms. What are the odds, that I would meet a girl who was perfect mentally for me and phyiscally for me, and then even matched my sexual interests, really, fuck. Then I got jealous because she was spending a large amount of time with a co-worker, and I spoke up about it, and I just fucked everything up, because now she's unsure if she wants to be with me, she doesn't like the feeling of monogamy, yet she loves to talk about weddings and the like. I just feel so confused and I have no idea what's going to happen. But that's life I suppose. It's so damn hard remaining optimistic about all this though, it really is. I've never been so worried about something, and I never thouht I'd ever be worried about something such as this. But truthfully that was when I figured I'd be alone for the most of my life (it takes a certain disposition to be accept such a life at such a young age).
I really wish I had a smoke right now too, I havn't smoked in 4 years or so, but I could really go for a pack of reds right now.
Finally, I can't understand why I'm listening to John Cale, his music is on par with hearing a recording of someone saying (Life's not good...I wish I could help, but nope, it's pretty futile, my friend. Want a drink?)
you really need not respond to this, I just feels better typing this out, so at least I know people may know what is going on.
I don't even remember everything in this thread now. But truthfully I just want things to be better, but who wouldn't right?
But this did make me happy, this past valetines day she made me this huge gaudi ornate valentine. The other night it fell of my wall, I am one to easily take things as omens, when awoke and saw that it was no longer on my wall, I felt my stomach ache and my heart sink, but when I got up, assuming to find it just fucked up from falling on the floor, to my suprise it was laying perfectly on it's back, no damage done to it. now this is something that is very heavy on the front ,and if it fell to the floor it really should have landed face down, and probably knock some of the things that were attached to it. But seeing it there, as it landed as safely as it could, it made me smile. Because I felt that it was something similar to a sign, that while it may seem like your relationship is dwindleing,but you two will be good in the end. and you know what? I really hope so, I really do, but who would hope for things to be bad in the end? But if they do end badly, life goes on I suppose.
Replies
However, it is not the end of the world when they do though. Despite what you might think about it too, if one relationship doesn't work out it doesn't mean there won't be more.
Also, one thing I can tell you from personal experience is that it is best not to smother her. It sounds like that might be the case. It's easy to do, and it can really cause problems in a relationship. (I just had to break up with my girlfriend of a year and a half because she smothered me).
And please don't touch a smoke. If you've quit for 4 years don't fuck it up and start again. That's just friggen stupid. If ya gotta get some release beat the fuck outa a pillow or go for a jog or something.
(Oh, and I have no idea if it would end or why you think it is going to, but if it does remaining friends is not hard to do. I've stayed friends with 2 of my ex-girls).
[edit]And about the caring about you thing, there is always someone around who does, even if those who do don't show it well. I don't know about your parents, but I'm sure you have friends, and even though it might seem geeky or whatever, people on message boards do often care quite deeply about their fellow posters. So posting on a message board is a good idea to get honest answers from people who care, and caring ones as well. Nothing wrong with it. [/edit]
we were like you and your girl. seemingly made for each other. very similar interests. so comfortable around each other that we didnt have to make smalltalk to fill the void. it was just great to be near each other. i thought we were going to get married, though i had yet to ask. we had NEVER fought over anything. only yelled once to slow down on I75 in Cincinatti cause traffic sucked and i thought we were going to hit someone.
as you can guess i was devastated. i had never cried like that before. for 3 days i did almost nothing but cry, body wracking sobs. i couldnt eat or sleep. i went through all the motions, begging pleading etc.. for all my teen and adult years until i met her(i was 24) i thought i would NEVER find someone and then this amazing girl starts talking to me and over a month we spent more time talking late through the night in the art building than doing our course work. it was amazing. i had never felt that close to someone in my life, i love my parents and family but this was something totally different and amazing. NEVER could i have guess i would meet someone like her in Buttfuck, Kentucky. but now she's off on her own. and so am i.
over a couple of weeks from when she told me until the last day she was at our apartment, we talked quite a bit. we got mad, but backed off because we cared too much to end it badly. we parted on great terms. it hurts horribly but i am doing well.she is doing well. we are still good friends and i couldnt be happier about that. hell, our next to last day together was on my BIRTHDAY. my only wish that day was to spend it with her, which we did spend it together. got some ice cream, went for a walk. spent a lot of quality time together. depressing but happy at the same time.
where am i going with this? not sure.. probably just to say, Hey, I know how you feel.
i dont think there's an easy way to resolve your situation. i'm not sure i understand it all the way through either. you've done what you can to show her you love her enough to let her go. if she stays, great. if she goes, im sorry, but try not to dwell on things too long. that way leads to madness. i feel amazing by not letting my break up pull me completley under. yes, some nights are tough. i barely think anything and want to break down completly.
right now you dont know what's going to happen. and that's the hardest part, waiting. right now you feel like you want to get it all over with and know the ending. it doesnt work that way. trust me i know that feeling well. you HAVE to do something but you cant at the moment. you dont even know if it's going to end.
my advice. keep your head high, your shoulders back. walk with confidence. keep your mind out of the abyss. keep the boozing to a minimum (if your that type). find some upbeat music(my mp3 collection is 80% 'sad bastard music' so it was hard). your still 19/20, you've got way more time on your hands than me now, dont waste it like i did by being depressed. you've got confidence in everythign but emotions right now, time to apply some of it to them.
dont dwell. and TALK TO HER. let HER know these thougths and feelings to but not in a overly smothering way. let her know your scared about what's happening. you could be blowing things out of proportion. step back from yourself for a bit and exhale. relax those shoulders.
So yes, let her slip!
I'm gonna throw an alternate view out there than Sonics, cos it needs be said.
It may seem like she is the only girl on earth for you, because that's how love is, but trust me, that can and WILL change. And you can feel the exact same way about somebody different 6 months from now. I know thats hard to grasp.
You guys are like, 20 years old and talking about girls like you have a terminal illness! Honestly! Get out there and put it about for fucks sake. You ARE waaaayyy too young to be desperately in love. Sure, be in lust, have fun, and be smitten, but dont see this as the be all and end all!
You've said it yourself Neo. You are so fucking young! You have plenty of time to meet other people, plenty of time to be single, plenty of time for lots of stuff. But a serious relationship leading to marriage and kids? F that for now. Leave that for 5 or 6 years or more at least!
I'll tell you why. Because when you are 30 and you have been together since you were teenagers you will quite possibly resent each other for stealing each others lives! I spent my twenties with the same girl, and bloodyhell do i regret that. Don't get me wrong, I loved her to bits, but when it fell apart when I was 29, I thought fuck, that was a bloody big waste of time. You will both change dramatically from the ages of 20 to 30, and possibly have different life goals, and the chances of remaining still passionately in love through that are slim to none. So don't do it. Start panicking that you wont meet someone else and that you'll die a lonely old man at 30+ sure, but at 20?! WTF! You guys crack me up.
She's told you she's not into monogamy as a concept Neo, so face facts, that's a polite way of saying she's curious about shagging other people. And fuck, who isn't curious about shagging other people aged 19? If that stuffs in her head now, it aint ever going away. Sorry.
If you *really* cant live without her and desperately want her back, then do NOT talk to her, do not smother her. Do not woo her. Do not plead, do not beg. That is NOT the way to get her back. The way to do that is to completely and utterly ignore her, appear to proceed in life with much enthusiasm, and do not for fucks sake show interest in her and most of all DO NOT SHOW WEAKNESS. Women think in mysterious ways and they are highly curious creatures. Trust me, do the above, and she will come running. But fuss over her and beg for her back, kiss it goodbye.
Honestly, I dont mean to sound harsh. I wish you all the best. Just throwing an alternate perspective out there.
i edited my above post...
honestly, I kind of threw my response out there based on the judgement of my own girlfriend. the girl i was with before that I thought i was in love with and got all worked up over, (i think i even made a post here?), and i said fuck it finally, moved on, and now im a million times happier. it may seem like it hurts, but if she's not right for you, you'll look back on it and go "fuck that! it's a good thing i broke it off with her!" i think you'll know if you truly want to spend a long period of time with a woman, and you don't need us to tell you that. honestly, usually if it doesn't work out the first time, it wont work out the second.
get along, go dish out some spanks!
NOW
Listen, believe it or not Im a romantic. I just think that there's an appropriate time in life for different stuff, and that we change and mature dramatically from say, 20 to 30.
Also bear in mind that I am speaking on the basis of personal experience. It might not work for everyone, but it worked for me. Also I'm throwing out a disclaimer. If you try my trick and it doesn't work I cannot be held in any way shape or form responsible. ;-p
wait, she's questioning how she feels? what the fuck was i thinking?
get along, go dish out some spanks!
NOW
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Haha. Yeah, unless Im much mistaken, Neo mentioned something about her not being too convinced by monogamy?
i shouldn't be giving advice when its 3 in the morning!
convince her of polygamy and mormonism?
That's why I'm now a stone cold heartless bastard!
Listen, believe it or not Im a romantic. I just think that there's an appropriate time in life for different stuff, and that we change and mature dramatically from say, 20 to 30.
Also bear in mind that I am speaking on the basis of personal experience. It might not work for everyone, but it worked for me. Also I'm throwing out a disclaimer. If you try my trick and it doesn't work I cannot be held in any way shape or form responsible. ;-p
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I got lucky and realized that. It's part of the reason I broke up with my last. I'd really have to agree with this. You should have experience with other people before committing for life.
And that's a harsh way to have it happen Daz.
My only advice is to suggest that you work things out for yourself. Everyone has their own perspectives coming from their own experiences and thus no one can really tell you what you should be doing. Just take it easy, look at things objectively and don't let all of us sway your decisions (not to deride any of the advice thats been handed out here thus far).
Relationship breakups are one of the gritty photgraphic overlays that define life and make the whole thing a little more interesting.
Well she admitted to me she was quite frightend by monogamy, but she always would talk about marrying me. I rarely brought up marrige, especially since in october we went through the same mess we're going through now (because I got jealous of the other people she spent time with), and we agreed that we shouldn't talk about the future as much and just live in the now. Then as time went on the notions of marrige and our life together started to be brought up again.
I feel I should just quit making a deal of her spending her time with other people other than me. I do trust her, I don't see why I had to make a big deal of things. I told her that it's in a man's nature to get jealous over things like this, and thinking she could find a guy who wouldn't get jealous, a guy that cared for her at least, I mean her past boyfriend wouldn't care, but then again he was having sex with some fat girl behind her back.
But yes, I am giving her space now. I have no idea when the next time I see her will be, I was tempted last night to leave a message on her cell phone asking her to stop by and see me before work, so I could tell her some things on my mind, but decided against it, because I should just let her on her own, if she really wants to see me sometime this week she'll call me and ask to see me. I don't want to rush anything or fuck anything up.
Daz, I don't need her, I can live without her, I've lived for 18 years without knowing her. That was also something. Because one night as a romantic gesture I said to her "I need you". She had never told me that she was upset with me for saying that, because it puts a lot of weight on one's shoulders when someone needs you. But I cleared that up with her. I told her pretty much everything I needed to tell her on monday when I last saw her. She cried, and kissed me, and we just held eachother for hours. I had no idea how to feel afterwards. But it wasn't bad, I know that.
I am afraid however, that my care for the situation will eventually be exhausted, and I'll just end up leaving her. That's what I'm very afraid of actually, because I am prone to doing such things.
I also need to quit listening to depressing music, I don't know why it seems whenever I get upset I reach for the most depressing record I own.
You should listen to some hardcore or metal (Hatebreed, Bury Your Dead, Chimaira...), and you'll feel better!
Good luck!
Daz put it best, if she's not into monogamy, don't kid yourself.
You will find others, and believe me, you will find MANY others who like the Sado masochism!!!
Something my friend told me: Love is not All or nothing like us young people make it out to be. Its a hard learned lesson to see things how they are and not how you want them to be.
Another thing is, if you think she needs to change, its already over. Unless you can accept how she is no matter how she is, you will be constantly comprimising and feeling miserable because you arent getting what you are giving to her back from her. Be more careless with your emotions and youll learn a lot more about how people feel about you than if you just wrap them up and ship them all off at once to one person.
Hey, be lucky she hasnt cheated on you..
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That he knows about.
I think her views on monogamy should be some indication as to the kind of person you think that you are in love with. If she hasn't already cheated on you I am pretty sure she will eventually. Question: when she is hanging out with male co-workers is it in groups or one-on-one? If it is the latter, I can bet on what they are up to.
Truthfully I don't think she has a fear of monogamy, if she did there's no way she'd ever bring up marrige. She actually just wishes we were older. Because she has a feeling that being in a relationship is something that may hinder her from certain things. It doesn't really matter though, I mean, whatever happens, happens, I'm not going to let the relationship end just like that though, I will strive to keep it going. I don't let good things slip just that easily.
But you know what, I do like the quote that ebagg posted,
"your first love feels like your last, your last love feels like your first", that actually made me feel much better. I don't know why.
btw Snemmy, didn't read your post when I made mine, so I hope I didn't come across as insensitive! I feel your exact pain man. 8 years together and one day I come home from work and all evidence of her existance is gone, bar a note on my pc which read 'Can't do this anymore sorry. Have a nice life. Bye x'.
That's why I'm now a stone cold heartless bastard!
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Holy cow - is that an exact quote? I'd have probably moved to another continent myself in that case...
NEVER could i have guess i would meet someone like her in Buttfuck, Kentucky. but now she's off on her own. and so am i.
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I think you should move up to Cincinnati. Yeah, the girls here can be a bit stuck up, but this city is so conservative that buttfucking is not a concern ;D Also, I'm here and I'm like ten pints of awesome poured into a two pint glass, so you could hang out with me...
Holy cow - is that an exact quote? I'd have probably moved to another continent myself in that case...
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Word for word mate
Oh and trust me, to back up my earlier theory, I sure as hell started to get some phonecalls and e-mails from her then, hah!
DO NOT SHOW WEAKNESS. Women think in mysterious ways and they are highly curious creatures.
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Be a man. Never show weakness. Girls have a wussy detection device implanted in the fibre of their being by years of men offering them dick.
If more men figured this out I'd have way more competition. luckily the girlie-man factor is high in san francisco.
I swear 90% of the guys I know are noodle-backed pussy whipped idiots.
Listen to Daz he talks sense. I lost the opportunity to marry a wonderful girl; and it was only after I moved on and was totally excited about my own life did she start taking interest again. ofcourse she was divorced, knocked up, with kid and wasted her career opportunities at this point = damaged goods...but the lesson was still learned.
Don't fuck up it up by losing your game.
But you know what, I do like the quote that ebagg posted,
"your first love feels like your last, your last love feels like your first", that actually made me feel much better. I don't know why.
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I can't speak for the married here, but I went through a similar relationship during my college years, we split and she left me for a guy I had been best friends with. During the relationship I thought I had found THE one, but after it was over I used it fuel my art and it helped. Now I've met the woman I want to spend my life with, and the feelings I have for her are much stronger, on every level, than those of any other relationships I've been in, especially my first love. Like anything that takes effort, relationships have a learning curve, and when you think you've found your peak, turns out it's just a bump in that curve.
btw Snemmy, didn't read your post when I made mine, so I hope I didn't come across as insensitive! I feel your exact pain man. 8 years together and one day I come home from work and all evidence of her existance is gone, bar a note on my pc which read 'Can't do this anymore sorry. Have a nice life. Bye x'.
That's why I'm now a stone cold heartless bastard!
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heh, dont worry about it. i thought it was a bit off the mark in regards to my situation but i figured you were typing while i posted and it didnt apply anyway.
and DAMN! that was cold hearted of her. at least my girl told me to my face and we talked many many things over and had nearly a month to get things in some sort of order before rent was up.
my situation is slightly different. there isnt another guy involved. we dissolved slowly and i didnt recognize it, she did after a while and knew she couldnt be happy with the situation we were in so she took steps. cant say im happy with the situation (and i think she wasnt either) and wish things could have been different but i've done my crying, i understand why and ive had my closure with her. no doubt it hurt me more than anything to lose her but my chin is up and going on.
ebagg: thanks for the 'your first feels like your last and your last feels like your first'. that really makes me feel a lot better with my situation as well.
Neo: whatever happens man, i know it will be for the better. optimism is better than pessimism. and if you cant find non-depressing music, www.shoutcast.com has tons of non-depressing stuff. though i actually found comfort in Tormented radio's industrial stuff as well as Groove Salad. and Japan-A radio when i need poppy cutesy anime/JPop
normaly i wouldn´t post in such a thread, but this time i think i should do.
I´m in a situation a bit similar to yours
And i can understand your feeling quit good.
I had to live 5 weeks with her and her new "boyfriend" in the same house ("boyfriend" bc he was and is not her "boyfrined" but that´s what i thought it would end up). She slept in the 1. floor, i had my room at base (?!) floor and he lived in the 2. floor (he was the hirer).. She spent a LOT time with him and it was a realy ugly time
However she is not whith him anymore and the real point was the fact, that she was not sure if she could live with me any longer, if she don´t have a 100% feeling for me.
But thats only to let you know that i know what i´m speaking about.
DAZ is complete right when he says that you can´t imagine whats going on in 10 oder 20 years and still then your not "old". BUT why should you not try to live with a girl you´d met with 20 for the next 10 or 20 (or ever) years ?!
I rely know that there are a LOT girls out there wich could be my woman of my dream´s and as far as i know you know the same.. but i think the time you spend with a spezial girl is the real reason to not care about all others.
The good thing is i know now exactly what i want. a girl which thinks the same way i do in this point.
Best thing would be to meet the girl your comfortable with in the age of 30 and bevore "only" nice girls with no strong feelings towards them.. but who sayd the world is always going the "best" way? hm
...
Or be comfortable with living alone
I´m wondering why most of the time girls are the ones who act that strange (even if there are also a lot of dump guys out there)
So stay cool.. (as far as possible) try to see her as less as possible!
About not speaking with her (like Daz suggests). This realy deppends on person the is. Some a happy, your not smothing them any longer and that could already fix the "problem", but on the other hand she could think your not any longer interested in her, and she´s giving you up
BUT in ANY case.. do NOT think you understand her (and start "knowing" what she wants or could do in the near future)
.. woman and girls in specially are realy not understandable from our poit of view!
this saves you a lot of frustation and tears
.. so i wish you all the best, but you have to wake up from this beatiful 2-years of dreaming and see whats happening next
pls excuse me my awful english
Though as far as everything goes now, Space is the most important thing, everything is now up to her. Whatever happens, I guess happens.
Daz is a genius... listen to him, he knows the ways of the world! Imo you should do as many kinky things as you can while you are young and spunky, get everything out of your system you can think of and be with as many girls as you can before you sell your soul to a wife and kids. And yes, that is exactly what it is... when you get married/in a monogamous relationship you no longer count as a man, you become her sole property to do with or not, as she sees fit. Dont waste your good, youthful years on that. Wait at least another 5 or 10 before you go and commit yourself to that kind of responsibility, if at all! People change and grow and grow appart, you are so young and life has many changes in store for you! Stop worrying and have fun, be free, fuck whoever you want whenever you want and enjoy yourself.
Life is only getting shorter, why rush to the end of it?
-DeathKitten =^..^=
I have had a couple of drinks so I'll probably edit this later, but here is my opinion at the moment...
Daz is a genius... listen to him, he knows the ways of the world! Imo you should do as many kinky things as you can while you are young and spunky, get everything out of your system you can think of and be with as many girls as you can before you sell your soul to a wife and kids. And yes, that is exactly what it is... when you get married/in a monogamous relationship you no longer count as a man, you become her sole property to do with or not, as she sees fit. Dont waste your good, youthful years on that. Wait at least another 5 or 10 before you go and commit yourself to that kind of responsibility, if at all! People change and grow and grow appart, you are so young and life has many changes in store for you! Stop worrying and have fun, be free, fuck whoever you want whenever you want and enjoy yourself.
Life is only getting shorter, why rush to the end of it?
-DeathKitten =^..^=
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No need to edit it now, sweetie - I've quoted you for posterity. While you may appreciate Daz's worldliness, I'm not sure that he views marriage in the ridiculous fashion you've described. Cheese and rice, where did you get that feminazi notion of matrimony from, anyway? I've got the "oh shit, I'm in my 30s" thing rolling around in the back of my head, but I'll be damned if there's any point in my life at which that sort of emasculating arrangement is gonna happen. If a guy gets walked on in a relationship, it's because he lets it happen, not because that's the way things have to be.
if a woman makes you the happiest man in the world, wouldn't you want to stay with her if it never gets old?
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I sure would. Too bad such a woman does not exist
Shhh! Please don't tell my wife I said that
I mean, it's nice of you all to try to tell me things like "oh man she's not worth it" or "Dump her" and things like that.I don't feel like being with her will be condemning myself to one last vagina and misery. But something more akin to condemning myself to happiness. I am not just going to let this one slip. I don't give up on things like that, especially not with her. If it doesn't work out in the end, then it doesn't. But I'm not just going to sit down and say "fuck it" it's simply not my style. I don't get rid of things or people that I feel are going to benefit me in the future. I don't mean it as in the way like "she's rich...and I like money", I mean it as in she makes me happy, she's the only person I've met who I could tolerate for more than a day, and she has the ability to make me feel calm (because believe it or not, I'm pretty fucking paranoid most of the time) by doing nothing but being in my presence.
I am letting her solve things out alone, it's for the best, in my opinion. If she chooses she no longer wants to be with me, then I'll move on. But there's still a chance that she'll want to stay.
Could this just be young delusions of love? Maybe. But I don't think it is, but for all I know, I am young and delusional.
Here goes... I think marriage can be a wonderful thing if/when the people involved are experienced enough to know exactly what they want and what they are really getting into and at your age this is virtually impossible. I do not believe that women should be the way I described, but from my experience that is the way they end up being the majority of the time... never in the beginning... but a few years down the road, when youve put the ring on their finger and its too late/too complicated to change your mind. As for not wanting to play the field, good for you if you think you can be happy with her forever, I wish you luck, but most of us know better.
Anyways, the marriage/divorce statistics for North America speak for themselves
-DeathKitten =^..^=
for now i think i'll put those plans on hold
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if a woman makes you the happiest man in the world, wouldn't you want to stay with her if it never gets old?
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I sure would. Too bad such a woman does not exist
Shhh! Please don't tell my wife I said that
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hahahaha
Neo_God: best I can say is, go with the flow man. If she makes you happy, then do what must be done
Feminazi? Oh god... please tell me you're not a dittohead.
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Yeah, I've even got a shrine to Rush Limbaugh in my living room...
Daz is a genius...
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You hear that people? Did you hear that? Clearly Deathkitten knows what she is talking about! Listen to her!
Joking aside, were all grown ups here. I think we all understand that everybody is different, and of course don't all share the same goals, nor do the same things bring us happiness. Tom guessed right, I actually do hold the concept of marriage in high regard. Sure, I also happen to believe that it's better to do it a little older than younger, but that's my personal experience, and the knowledge that my mother and father split when he was 22, and she was 19.
Like I said earlier, I really am a romantic at heart. I would love marriage and kids, but haven't found the right partner, and boy, am I fussy. I am hoping that Poop one day finally gives in.
I am hoping that Poop one day finally gives in.
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Hahahah! No way!
...he knows he's mine.
You are young, and as much as i'd like to say that true love exsists as you think of it right now. It's more rare than you could imagine. I've always had high hopes about love, but life has taught me that nothing can replace loving yourself once you have that in full. After this breakup the only love I feel I can look forward to is from a pet. I've been through this too many times. Just don't let this happen to you. Focus on yourself, and that does't mean you can't keep her in your heart. Just keep the priority on your happiness.
What makes a relationship great is the communication that gets built over time. "True love" isn't found. It's created.
The fact is that even an asshole like myself is probably compatible with tens of thousands of females for different reasons. If a girl doesn't seem to want you, you should have some fucking self respect and move on. Fact is that she probably wasn't wife material to start with.
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In case you're wondering, I'm also extremely manly, and kill buffalo with my bare hands for fun.
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That's for pussies. I kill buffalo by choking them to death with my giant cock. I can do it by wrapping it around their neck while I'm riding one bare-back, but I usually end up just engorging it in their throats.
That's for pussies. I kill buffalo by choking them to death with my giant cock. I can do it by wrapping it around their neck while I'm riding one bare-back, but I usually end up just engorging it in their throats.
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touche!
Strangly enough I don't feel bad or anything about it, I'm afriad my brain has yet to click on, and I'm going to feel terrible soon. But for now, I just feel calm, a little bummed, but that's all.
She told me that she wished we met later in our lives, and I agreed, I too wish we would have met when were in our mid 20's to early 30's (prime marrige age!). Oh well. We're still remaining as friends.
Life, it goes on. Although, while I will miss the warmth of someone with me, I'm done with relationships for the moment, My emotions feel fairly spent on the subject of love right now.