Movie theatre jerks.
polycounter lvl 18
I'm sure this has been covered before, but let's have a vent. Kind of in a hurry writing this, so it will probably have a hard to understand writing style.
Movie theatre jerks:
1) - Dumbass Parent With a Baby - WHY bring an infant to the movies? Even if it's a kid's movie, an infant isn't going to get anything out of it. Bringing a baby to a loud scary movie like Batman Begins can't be good for it.
Can't find/afford a babysitter? Fine. Stay home. I would. Go rent a DVD if you have to.
Some parents at least take the baby out to the lobby if it starts crying. Most jerks don't.
I turn off my cell phone so I don't bother you, don't bring your baby to bother everyone else.
2) - "Funny" Guy - The guy who has to make "clever" comments all the time and talk to the screen to impress his friends/himself. I came to watch and enjoy the movie, not to listen to your self-centered, attention-whoring ass.
3) - Mr/Mrs Cell Phone - No explanation needed.
4) - Just Plain Dumb Parent - Brings kids to movies that are totally innapropriate for them and are shocked about it. Like bringing a bunch of under 10 year olds to see Team America. "Oh, it's rated R? But it's got puppets! KIDS MOVIE!" The really smart ones don't even leave until after the credits roll. I'm sure the kids got some good mileage out of that theme song.
Mostly, movie theatre jerks boil down to being self-centered assholes who have no consideration for others. Voluntary ignorance is also a big factor (see Just Plain Dumb Parent).
People like this really make me not want to go out to the movies anymore. But why should I change? They're the ones that suck. :P
Despite encountering 1 & 2 last night, I highly enjoyed Batman Begins. Feel free to share any of your favorite movie theatre jerk encounters.
Movie theatre jerks:
1) - Dumbass Parent With a Baby - WHY bring an infant to the movies? Even if it's a kid's movie, an infant isn't going to get anything out of it. Bringing a baby to a loud scary movie like Batman Begins can't be good for it.
Can't find/afford a babysitter? Fine. Stay home. I would. Go rent a DVD if you have to.
Some parents at least take the baby out to the lobby if it starts crying. Most jerks don't.
I turn off my cell phone so I don't bother you, don't bring your baby to bother everyone else.
2) - "Funny" Guy - The guy who has to make "clever" comments all the time and talk to the screen to impress his friends/himself. I came to watch and enjoy the movie, not to listen to your self-centered, attention-whoring ass.
3) - Mr/Mrs Cell Phone - No explanation needed.
4) - Just Plain Dumb Parent - Brings kids to movies that are totally innapropriate for them and are shocked about it. Like bringing a bunch of under 10 year olds to see Team America. "Oh, it's rated R? But it's got puppets! KIDS MOVIE!" The really smart ones don't even leave until after the credits roll. I'm sure the kids got some good mileage out of that theme song.
Mostly, movie theatre jerks boil down to being self-centered assholes who have no consideration for others. Voluntary ignorance is also a big factor (see Just Plain Dumb Parent).
People like this really make me not want to go out to the movies anymore. But why should I change? They're the ones that suck. :P
Despite encountering 1 & 2 last night, I highly enjoyed Batman Begins. Feel free to share any of your favorite movie theatre jerk encounters.
Replies
1. Bitch who is scared of everything and yells at everything. loud too
2. guy who laughs at everything and way too loud,laughs at commercials,music,everything and always way too loud
3.damn teenagers who talk on their cell,run around and basiclly do everything except watch the movie
4.people with laser pointers
5.infants
i sae batman begins and on the second time i had god damn teenagers who wouldnt shut the hell up
2. Some people just miss MST3K in their lives and need to live it out themselves. Again, rent the movie and comment to your heart's delight in the privacy your own home theatre.
3. Let's add a new cell phone irritation to the mix. People who turn their cell's sound off ... but still constantly flip it open to check for calls or messages. Last movie I watched, I was surrounded by little blue squares of light that popped on and off in my field of view. Set the damn thing to vibrate people!!!!
4. These are likely the same people who take their children to the grocery store at 11:00 PM, smoke while they pump gas, apply eye makeup while driving, and talk on the cell phone while driving without a hands free set.
Other movie-goer peeves ...
32 oz drink ... 8 oz bladder. Need I say more?
Pre-teen night at the movies. This is the bane of the local theatre in my suburban town. Giggling hordes of 7th-9th graders out on group dates, dropped off at the theatre by mom and dad to be picked up later on at TCBY next door. I solved this by never going to that theatre again.
Seat kicker. His feet don't reach the floor, so he's free to kick the seat in front of him ... usually yours.
2 Guy who not only brings his cellphone into the theater turned on, but decides not to answer it.
Also, a strict no-baby policy/baby-specific movie watching times.
Definitely should have a no-baby policy for especially loud/scary/violent movies, it can't be good for them at such a young age.
EDIT: Forgot another one.
5) - The "Pyschic" Guy - Absolutely always has to "predict" what's going to happen next, especially if it's the most obvious/predictable thing ever. I'm talking about you, Dad.
:P
I really don't understand the people who always have to check their phone/take calls. Can't you go a couple hours without bring controlled by your phone? Relax, and enjoy the movie instead. You've got the whole rest of the day to be your cell phone's bitch.
1: The one that makes me nearly fly off the handle almost everytime is the guy who bumps your seat over and over and over in the movie keeps kicking the seat with no regarde to if it's bothering me . Ohh and one guy who kicked his feet up on the back of my chair like a foot rest ..me and my friend tony who is huge just stood up like we were gonna rip his legs off and that was the end of that .
2: The lady who has to take a piss 5-10 times during the movie and decides to sit in the middle of the row . She gives you the polite " im sorry..im really sorry " but you know if she was sorry she would have sit in the ailes seat
3: The group of friends who arn't even kids that decide they are going to annalize the movie and make fun and joke around right behind you in whisper voices just loud enough that you miss half of what is being said on the screen . I swear they have road rage but it's hard to believe sometimes there isn't mote theatre rage .
My friend was a manager at a theatre and he actually told me that they kick the AC up so it's cold as hell in the theatre because cold air makes people less violent ..ha I always wondered why it always got freaking freezing during action/violent movies
Oh, and my dad who always asks questions about the happenings on the screen that weren't explained in the movie (yet) and expects me to be the psychic who can predict what the bad guy's plan was or something. Also he gets angry very easily and talks pretty loud.
I myself have this annoying urge to comment sometimes. Happens rarely and I'm trying to keep as quiet as possible (and make sure nothing important is going on in the movie) but I doubt the people next to me like it. I'm trying to work on it, I'm sure that's another habit (not quite as bad as the bad jokes but my dad makes even worse ones) I inherited from my dad.
pogonip: You haven't been in a cold cinema until you've been there during winter with a broken heating system.
2. guy who laughs at everything and way too loud,laughs at commercials,music,everything and always way too loud
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Those of use who have seen a movie with Poop know this all too well...
2. guy who laughs at everything and way too loud,laughs at commercials,music,everything and always way too loud
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laughing too loud at the rest of the world
with the boys in the crowd
you hide hide hide
behind petrified eyes
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Wasnt a guy but a woman who was like this during Batman Begins.
when i was in portland i went an saw a movie with shine.. can't rember what exactly it was.. but the theater was packed, and the 2 empty seats we found had this thug gangsta looking punk behind it with his feet propped up on the back of the chair i had to sit in, i asked him to move his feet and he just ignored me, so i pushed his seat off and sat down while he muttered soemthing, a bit into the movie he starting kicking my seat so i turned and firmly asked him to stop, and he told me his feet were there first, so i asked him did his feet have a ticket, a bit later he kicked again and i stood up and firly told him not to fucking kick my seat again, he muttered a bit but i had no other problem, shine thought i was going to get us shot or something, he was a bit nervous walking back from the movie,
then with a buncha of the liquid guys at a difrent theater we saw "the hulk" and there was a group ok teens behind us started kicking the seat, more of a nervous foot tapping i think, and i turned and asked them to stop and htey just apologized, and no more from them. it was weird cause i almost expected another repeat of the seat kicking incident.
but yeah when i go to watch movies, i usualy like silence.
As for the rest most of them shut up and get embarrased when you tell them loudly and politely to shut up. Also going out and telling a manager normally gets them to either shut up or tossed out.
Durring Hitch Hikers Guilde to the Glaxy we ran into a #2 I thnk I even heard him say pwned at one point. After about 20 min my wife who was sitting a few seats down from the guy laughed really loundly in an annoying voice at one of his "jokes" and said "that is way funnier than the movie". Another guy a few rows back picked up on her saracism and said something like "yeah idiot shut up watch the movie". He slouched down in his seat a bit and was quite for a while but then got up and left, a few people aplauded. It looked like he was trying to sneak out by picking a darker scene, but its kind of hard with a full house.
My dad has a habit of talking at key scenes, then having to ask what the character just said (usually something important) , because he was talking over the movie... :P
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This is my brothers wife. lucky for us she does only when we get together and watch movies at home. In a theater she is quite.
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2. guy who laughs at everything and way too loud,laughs at commercials,music,everything and always way too loud
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Those of use who have seen a movie with Poop know this all too well...
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You know its true when I came in here to say the exact same thing.
http://www.werewolves.org/~two/Rants/2rant-babies.mp3
[/ QUOTE ]I'm surprised how long it took before this one came up...
2's rants are quite good...
http://www.werewolves.org/~two/Rants/2rant-babies.mp3
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That guy is pretty f-ing funny ...LOL
So today my wife and I decided to go out and see Batman at 3.
I just want to know what the fuck is wrong with some parents???
YOU DON'T BRING 4 YEAR OLDS TO SEE A PG13 MOVIE.
There were 4 sets of single parents there, each having atleast 3 kids with them, one guy had 6 kids. All kids in the ages of 4-10. That movie should not be seen by kids that young. I would never let my son see it unless he's 12+. And then they feel the need to squeel and shit during the intense parts, totaly breaking any concentration we had.
Not only that but some dumbfuck couple had a 3 month old baby in the back. Again, what the fuck are they thinking. Not that a 3 month old can comprehend the violence but the theater is ear numbingly loud, hurt my own ears. You would think parents would realize that really fucking loud noises for 2+ hours straight is NOT safe for their newborn. Though I have to admit I didn't hear a peep from the baby.
And then we had the 2 jackasses behind us who kept saying shit like "Man, he got fucked up!" or "Daaammmnn".
Though despite all that we still enjoyed ourselves, cool movie. I guess it's more of the fact that it was allowed to happen that pisses me off the most.
The baby was quite because its inner ear burst when the previews started, I bet it fell asleep after that. These are the same parents that will freak out when thier child has problems in school and is labled ADHD because it doesn't listen to teachers.
...except in austin when i went and saw Dodgeball with a bunch of polycounters, including Poop, but it was at least a very funny movie so him laughing at the top of his lungs wasn't -quite- as disruptive as it might have been otherwise
Gross
-R
I was close to just telling her to SHUT THE FUCK UP but she had a pretty heavy husband with her
2) - "Funny" Guy - The guy who has to make "clever" comments all the time and talk to the screen to impress his friends/himself. I came to watch and enjoy the movie, not to listen to your self-centered, attention-whoring ass.
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That's me
HAHA, I went to see Anchorman with Poop, and there were some people around us that got up and left. I was already drunk at that point, so only noticed him as "a little loud" and joined in cause it looked fun.
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hahahahhahahahahahaha!
- you wouldn't laugh out loud at that commercial at home. Why here? WHY? I hate you and all you stand for.
- look, you and your dear old husband are 80 years old. Why did you think Sin City would be for you? Make less a fuss when you leave after the wolf scene, if you'd be so kind.
- (gun in face, Jules Winnfield style) unwrap that sweet QUICKLY, motherfucker
- you see the enormous text displayed before the film? 30 feet by 10? The one that said "please turn off your mobile phone?" What, did you not see it? Hmmm. That was dumb. You should pay more attention, since the film you've paid money to watch is just about to start ... huh? What? Excuse me, did you say you DID see the sign? And your phone rang? ... sorry, i don't have an infinite mind capacity, i can't comprehend that, you'll have to explain it again. Actually, don't bother, i'm just going to gouge you eyes out instead.
- re kids : My local cinema is actually pretty good, they have a matinee showing called the Big Scream which is specifically for parents with young kids. It's a fine idea, and since it's clearly advertised i haven't seen an infant in a normal showing since it began.
I have one: Smelly people. You know, the people who fry onions and garlic 5 minsutes before they come to the theatre. Or don't bathe and missed laundry month.
Gross
-R
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Or get a big tub of popcorn and proceed to breath thru their mouths while they are chewing. So that wet, popcorn vomit smell waffs around them.
What got me the most was when a guy was getting a call and didn't pick up his phone and his friend who was about 5 or so rowes down (and who was calling him) yelled "hey pick up your fckuing phone" he said "hold on this is a good part of the movie"
Anyone who complained and told those people to stop only got yelled at, something along the lines of "Man Fcku you bitch i got me a goddamb ticket also so i can do whatever the fcku i want."
They talked so loud you could hear them across the theatre and only talked louder when the action scenes picked up. And it wasnt one or two people either. it was more like a dozen idiots doing this. we walked out of the movie and people complained at us for getting in their way as we exited the theatre. insane.
even movies ive watched before that crap pisses me off, everytime i go into a theatre with people like that inside it fill mes with a horrible rage.
Last time I had a really bad movie expeirence was Episode 3, first time around. Annoying kids, screaming babies,jack ass teens, the works.
Though I do have the problem of commenting, I'll usually make 1 or 2 during a movie, but only when commenting seems suitable. Also it depends on how full the theater is. When I saw Resident Evil Apocalypse with a friend. The Theater was empty. So I talked at regular volume with him, during the whole movie.
thats why you use the restroom prior to the movie
i usually make real REAL sotto voce comments that even i can barely hear.
i tend towards going to the earliest screening possible to avoid too many people being in it. but then i also tend to go to saturaday morning/lunchtimes of the opening weekend, so that's a crapshoot.
the incredibles was the best, i saw that in a screening with me, a 30s ish woman and two kids of about 5-6 and they were little angels, once the trailers came on, they shut up and i never heard a peep from em.
you should see me drive!
Most Cinemas in the UK and Japan have these clever things called Signal Blockers.
My dad has a habit of talking at key scenes, then having to ask what the character just said (usually something important) , because he was talking over the movie... :P
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You just described my friends behaviour, and my personal movie-going pet peeve.
Not a good combination, that. I usually just end up sitting far away from him.