I have a story kind of in the same vein..about driving tests and instructors. To calm my nerves before my test, my instructor (a really nice and hugely funny guy) told me this story and true or not, it put me at ease:
One particular driving tester liked to keep a bag of candy on the dash of the car whenever he was testing anyone. One day after explaining to a particularly nervous learner that he would tap on the dash to indicate when he wanted the learner to perform an emergency stop, they set off. The learner was really jittery, and the car jerked as he crunched up and down the gears. The tester leant forward to stop the bag of candy rolling off the dash - and seeing him slap the dash the learner slammed on the brakes and the tester broke his nose on the dashboard, spraying blood all over the windshield.
When I was taking my driving courses in school, we drove through a nearby town, and then home. On the last day, just a mile from my home, we drove through a small community. Some kid riding his bike on the side of the road suddenly fell off in front of me. The instructor and I both hit the brakes, and the kid was just a couple inches from the front bumper. I was shocked. I still passed.
At the DMV, the test seemed like it was from another country and another decade. 3 questions were variations of "what do you do when passing a vehicle on the highway"? I picked, "use turn signal". The answer was "beep horn". So I barely passed.
When I went to take my first driving test, I was pretty nervous. I went out to my ancient family car to start it up and pull it around to the start of the test course. However, when I started it, the car suddenly began to jerk, wheeze, and buck as the engine had some kind of coronary embolism. Even when I took the key out of the ignition, the car continued to do wild palpitations as the engine kept trying to run.
So it was a week or so before I could try again. I passed with a 70/100!
I feel your pain Jeff! The DMV in the bay area is craptastic.
But heres a funny experience I had recently: So I need a front plate 'cos I got pulled over for not having one. After dealing with all the paperwork, Im waiting in line for several hours and finally I get to the end and the woman calls my name out and hands me my new plates. I look at them and go 'nah, they're not mine sorry'. And she replies 'oh yes they are' and I look at them again and go 'no, honestly, they're really not. That's not my number' and shes getting madder and madder and Im trying to be polite but our conversation is just repeating itself ad nausem. Until eventually a guy behind me comes up and says 'Are you English?' to which I respond 'sorry yeah, is it obvious?' and he proceeds to explain to me he used to live in the UK and he understood the confusion. And that over here a vehicle doesn't retain the same number for its plates throughout its life like it does in the UK to which I felt like a complete tool of course.
doh, been here 5 years and still learning new stuff
I've been turned away from the local driver's license place three times for having the wrong birth certificate. In Colorado, they put the place in a strip mall with the sign 'Drivers License' and turn you away at the door if they don't like you. To make a long story short, I've had to wait forever for new forms of the BC, and I've been with an expired license for several months. I now actually have six different looking forms of my birth certificate and plan on trying again after this last deadline at work.
This is what I get for moving downtown, when I was living in the burbs, I could walk right in and out of the DMV with everything I needed, fast.
They don't even have DMV's where I live. I go to the Secretary of State's office to get my license and tags renewed. So nice living in small towns. Longest I've had to wait was 30 min.
It used to be much worse before now, but in AZ Ive done everything online for the last few years.. Registration renewal, duplicate drivers license, etc. For those times you need to go in, the lines are fairly manageable.. hour tops.
It was a total nightmare. Worse is that in Cali you have to take a written test. They didn't tell my wife or I untill right before they handed us the test though. So I had to retake it once. You could only miss 6 out of 36 on your first time through and only 3 tries that day!
But, it's done and hopefully I can avoid that for a few years somehow.
I was never able to finish the written test successfully, but after failing the third time by one question, the lady at the desk was nice enough to let me pass.
after the written test, about 50 multiple choice questions, mostly identifying signs, you wait six months to take your road test(used to be only a week, which is why there are so many HORRID drivers in KY).
anyway, my road test was basically, pull out of the parking lot, make a left turn, do a turn-about, right turn, parallel park, pretend you are parking overnight on a hill, drive a few blocks, head back to the courthouse, and park.
parallel parking sucked ass for me. during all my practices, about 10-12, i did it PERFECT every time. get to my test and BUMP! fail. well.. not just a bump but a tire up on the curb... so i had to take it again. ;|
Wow it only took me 20-30 mins to register, and get plates for my car. Gotta love Canada
I also took my Drivers in a small town = No lineups
Written test was easy (only need to do 1 for your learners permit), one of the blatently easy ones was "Does alchoal - Increase drving performance, or decrease"
after the written test, about 50 multiple choice questions, mostly identifying signs, you wait six months to take your road test(used to be only a week, which is why there are so many HORRID drivers in KY).
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Heh - and this is also what makes driving in Cincinnati so much 'fun' ;D
Replies
One particular driving tester liked to keep a bag of candy on the dash of the car whenever he was testing anyone. One day after explaining to a particularly nervous learner that he would tap on the dash to indicate when he wanted the learner to perform an emergency stop, they set off. The learner was really jittery, and the car jerked as he crunched up and down the gears. The tester leant forward to stop the bag of candy rolling off the dash - and seeing him slap the dash the learner slammed on the brakes and the tester broke his nose on the dashboard, spraying blood all over the windshield.
At the DMV, the test seemed like it was from another country and another decade. 3 questions were variations of "what do you do when passing a vehicle on the highway"? I picked, "use turn signal". The answer was "beep horn". So I barely passed.
So it was a week or so before I could try again. I passed with a 70/100!
/jzero
But heres a funny experience I had recently: So I need a front plate 'cos I got pulled over for not having one. After dealing with all the paperwork, Im waiting in line for several hours and finally I get to the end and the woman calls my name out and hands me my new plates. I look at them and go 'nah, they're not mine sorry'. And she replies 'oh yes they are' and I look at them again and go 'no, honestly, they're really not. That's not my number' and shes getting madder and madder and Im trying to be polite but our conversation is just repeating itself ad nausem. Until eventually a guy behind me comes up and says 'Are you English?' to which I respond 'sorry yeah, is it obvious?' and he proceeds to explain to me he used to live in the UK and he understood the confusion. And that over here a vehicle doesn't retain the same number for its plates throughout its life like it does in the UK to which I felt like a complete tool of course.
doh, been here 5 years and still learning new stuff
This is what I get for moving downtown, when I was living in the burbs, I could walk right in and out of the DMV with everything I needed, fast.
But, it's done and hopefully I can avoid that for a few years somehow.
after the written test, about 50 multiple choice questions, mostly identifying signs, you wait six months to take your road test(used to be only a week, which is why there are so many HORRID drivers in KY).
anyway, my road test was basically, pull out of the parking lot, make a left turn, do a turn-about, right turn, parallel park, pretend you are parking overnight on a hill, drive a few blocks, head back to the courthouse, and park.
parallel parking sucked ass for me. during all my practices, about 10-12, i did it PERFECT every time. get to my test and BUMP! fail. well.. not just a bump but a tire up on the curb... so i had to take it again. ;|
I also took my Drivers in a small town = No lineups
Written test was easy (only need to do 1 for your learners permit), one of the blatently easy ones was "Does alchoal - Increase drving performance, or decrease"
Kentucky's driver test is super easy.
after the written test, about 50 multiple choice questions, mostly identifying signs, you wait six months to take your road test(used to be only a week, which is why there are so many HORRID drivers in KY).
[/ QUOTE ]
Heh - and this is also what makes driving in Cincinnati so much 'fun' ;D