MMPOG Addictions and treatments
polycounter lvl 18
Someone close to me is addicted to such. Evercrack. This isn't a young man, but someone later in life with a son. Im not giving all the details as such but he has had a hard life with constant dissappointments. He lives with his older sister that is ending up becoming his Mom and money lender of sorts.
Im after healthy ways to suggest to this woman ways to help her brother. So none of this hard love shit like pulling the plug. Again, this isn't a child, and is probably older than anyone here (including Dukester). He is a smart man, but I think emotionally stunted.
Im after healthy ways to suggest to this woman ways to help her brother. So none of this hard love shit like pulling the plug. Again, this isn't a child, and is probably older than anyone here (including Dukester). He is a smart man, but I think emotionally stunted.
Replies
A job, taking his son out 3 times a week, etc etc. Come up with ideas - you and the sister will know him best.
It'll work.
The sister could ask him to get a part time job to atealst pay for the interent connection and hes EQ fee, then later make him pay some food money and rent and so on.
Also you could try to drag him out to pub or something and keep doing it on a weekly basis maybe get some of hes old friends to help.
Place to stay but he has to get productive or the lifeline she's supplying will stop
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Again, healthy ideas. That is not healthy. Would you throw a nephew on the street with his father? Yes, he would think ill of the fathers sister for doing such.
Getting him out is a good idea. Unfortunately he has no friends around where he is except nagging in laws (poor guy), and hes at the age now that he is to old to rehire for what he did before the recession. He had a job for a bit but got so aggravated that he knew more about the equipment than the people hired to do such. It would be like us being hired as a front desk secretary at a studio, and watching the 3d models being made all wrong, but being ignored because your just "the secretary".
but seriously yeah he needs to be broken outta the habit.
im still having withdrawls from Dark age of Camelot
the way im breaking the habit is
1. excercise getting and shape and looking healthy= finding a girl to curl your toes
2. picking up another hobby,im learning to play guitar
3. more 3d
4. oter non online games
also maybe take him on vacation,get some sun,go to vegas or something.
i know a couple that was good friends of mine back in florida, who had 2 young children, they got hooked eq so bad that their house turned into a pig stie and eventualy social services took both kids from them. it took them almost a month to get the kids back, that shook them out of their hook up. but yeah i really don't see where this is a time to tip toe on eggshells this is a time to go "look man you have a problem, you have a kid and you need to take some responsibilities," people do not take hints very well. this seems like it calls for a good serious talking to, and if that does not work then cut off the net and tell him if he wants it back he has to pay for it.
but of course heres the answer you want
get him interest in a nice relaxing hobby like oragami, somethign to take his mind of of ever quest, and then slowly over a course of time build up his spirit with motivational poems until he is ready to become a normal member of society!
if a person is addicted to something, he will quit only for 2 reasons, he wants to, or he is forced to.
The later is not quitting. When that force is no longer applied especially to an adult whats to stop them from going back?
this seems like it calls for a good serious talking to
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Mojo nails it!
I knew this guy that was a lot into AC2, every day, until one night he quickly deleted his stuff and cancelled his account. He said he felt so good after doing it, and that he now had so much time for other things.
If the body is addicted to something like smoking or other drugs, then you have a problem. Games are just mental and eveybody can get over it.
I bet that if he couldn't play for a week, for whatever reason (no connection maybe), he'd start doing other things with his time and having fun with it too, thinking less and less of the game, and finding it harder to get back to it.
I've heard the same from other people, they're hooked on a game only because it's there. If they ever have to stop playing, they never want back.
I mean, would he start sweating and get fever if the servers were down for a week ?
Very unlikely, he'd just accept it and look for something else to do.
May sound harsh, but like said, mental addiction is not a real addiction imo, a clean cut is a good way to go, the body wont cry for EQ. Some people do need a smack in the head from time to time.
Getting him to think of something else while he could be playing is a waste of time, unless that other thing offers more excitement than the game from the first minute on.
Girls are great, but you have to go through an annoying social procedure first to get anywhere. Origami... compared to having 100 friends and adventures a day in EQ it's like watching a dead fly for hours.
"if a person is addicted to something, he will quit only for 2 reasons, he wants to, or he is forced to. "
The later is not quitting. When that force is no longer applied especially to an adult whats to stop them from going back?
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An addiction is not a choice. He didn't choose to be addicted, his addiction modifies his desires. Stop him from satisfying his addiction for long enough and he can decide for himself whether he was happier with Everquest. Most likely not, EQ doesn't make people happy, it's engineered to deliver adrenaline rushes in small doses and distributed fairly arbitrarily. I've played some, MMORPGs are simply not fun, they just make you believe you have to play them which causes stress and unhappyness. Unhook him and he will thank you because most likely he feels miserable but can't stop all by himself.
As with this guy, I'd fill him in with some of the darker stories of those who got hooked on Evercrack and died from the side effects. Educate him and let him know that there is more to life than just a measly video game.
If things go worst, I'd say when he's not looking, delete all his characters and wipe out his account. Break his EQ install discs, Download BCWipe from www.jetico.com and destroy his EQ folder. I'll bet he'll go into some kind of denial ... just try to stick with him as he tries to recover and let him know about what RealLife(tm) looks like.
Now if it gets really bad, I suppose psychiatric stuff works but that's friggin expensive if he doesn't have insurance.
He needs something to help hum regain his self worth in the real world. Not just be slapped silly with "reality/hard love" which has already been done, and what has put him in such a major form of escapism in the first place! If you pull the plug, all you would be doing is making him seek another form of escapism. That isnt a cure.
Heh, this could reflect western medicine in some of our viewpoints towards this situation. Western medicine focuses on treating the symptoms, while overlooking the cause. Especially since we are dealing with a more mental problem here, we need to look at the cause.
"An addiction is not a choice"
Yes, but quitting is. Pulling the plug isnt quitting.
Ive seen what WOW is doing to a couple of friends at work and its pretty fucking scary. They simply dont hang out anymore. Theyre always plugged in, raiding some virtual dungeon or whatever the fuck. Day in, day out, weekends, evenings, at work. It isn't healthy. I just hope that one day they will wake up and realise they lost a couple of years of their lives and do something about it.
He needs to just stop. Period.
Perhaps you should ask an addiction specialist.
I would say to either trash his computer so he can't play games or he needs a change in lifestyle. Maybe a move, change of career, or to meet some actual people. Go out and meet some people with him. Basketball playoffs are on now, perfect reason to go to the local watering hole. Best of luck with dealing with it though hope you figure it out.
oXY: Once again, you've done what you always manage to do - ask for opinions, solutions and answers, yet you already seem to know the answers. So why bother asking if you already know what to do? Or rather, if you already think you know enough to know what not to do.
It really is a repeating pattern in every thread you start, and it's starting to get tiresome.
MoP
You know do you even bother to read what I say MoP or Daz (edit: or Mojo)? I said healthy at the begginging, I said "no plug" at the beggining. Yet here we are discussing as such for no reason other than you choose to post it anyways. Then get mad will when I mention this isnt a option I was after.
So for both of you. Stfu and take some of your own medicine...
Contrary to your assumptions about me Daz or MoP, I did not think of some of those other suggestions. So yes, they were a help! So take your immature preconceived notions of me to make your own world view easier and black/white, and stick em where the shine don't shine!
And Daz, as I was saying whats to keep him from then taking another addiction in its place? Something worse? Like alchohol or drugs? Thats why pulling the plug or the harsh love shit will not work. I guess I assumed I wouldn't have to explicitly lay this out.
And hey, you never know if something will work or not until you try it. But don't go jumping out of planes with an anvil strapped to your back on my say-so.
What the fuck? Some social intraction with his son and older sister maybe? This whole situation sounds fucked up in any case.
Wild guess: This is your father you are talking about and you are the son. Talk some sense into him or barring that, get him some professional help.
SA about Anarchy Online:
"Anarchy Which is Online a Minority of the Time: A Tiny Multiplayer Semi-Online Non-Role Playing Job That You Pay to Work For"
Protip= Sue Sony! Money solves everything!
I figure if you've managed to live EVEN longer than Dukester, you deserve to be allowed to live however you want! You've earned the right!
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Now that's exactly how I feel about it
Contrary to your assumptions about me Daz or MoP, I did not think of some of those other suggestions. So yes, they were a help! So take your immature preconceived notions of me to make your own world view easier and black/white, and stick em where the shine don't shine!"
I don't have any immature preconcieved notions about you. I have notions about you based on how you act on this board. I have no idea why you're talking about my world views. You know nothing about my world views boy. I was making an obervation that you seek advice and reject it. You are making as much sense as you always do. Which is zero.
If there's no way to stop him playing, it would appear that your friend needs professional help.
And Daz, as I was saying whats to keep him from then taking another addiction in its place? Something worse? Like alchohol or drugs? Thats why pulling the plug or the harsh love shit will not work. I guess I assumed I wouldn't have to explicitly lay this out.
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I like that argument, kids should spend all day in front of thei computers and get addicted to it... i mean, what would happen if they weren't addicted to games ?
They could go out and get addicted to drugs, or end up under a car.
He's in as much danger of falling for another addiction as anyone else on this globe. I think most agreed that people addicted to games feel relieved once they get rid of it, they don't go and start drinking.
Find out what he likes, get him some good books, and pull the plug. Trying to get someone to drop an addiction with kind words or providing an alternative while EQ is still an always available option is ridiculous.
Can aswell try to help a smoker or alcoholic and still leave alcohol and smokes in the house always available. First step is always to get the crap out of sight, and since his body is not addicted to EQ, it will be over in a week tops.
You can keep a backup of his EQ folder/discs or HDD if you're afraid of anything.