portfolio piece, please crit

dabu

hey everyone,

I posted this a while back as a WIP. I finally feel finished with this piece, a futuristic attack chopper I designed. I actually made a fiber glass speed form that was this basic shape for a shop class at Art Center.

1441 tris, 1 512 x 1024 map. This is one of the new pieces for my portfolio and some constructive critisism would be greatly appreciated. I only trust the opinions of you guys. Of course when I say finished, I really mean almost-done-but-I-really-need to-finish-this-oh-just-a-little-more. The Texture is a bit sloppy, I know.

TIA

dabu

malcolm

Cool man, it actually reminds me a lot of this video game I played when I was a kid.
http://www.tomheroes.com/Video%20Games%20FS/game%20ads/super%20cobra.htm

LtEthe

pretty cool. Reminds me of GI Joe. I assume the propellers fold up somehow and this thing goes zipping around like some kinda jet? Very organic, very reminscent of a manta ray. My only comment is that for a helicopter, it dosen't look predetory enough. Looks more like a pleasure craft then a piece of military hardware.

poopinmymouth

Very cool man, I love the design. I think the colors come off as a bit cartoony, not enough saturation contrast, and not enough color bleeding from one area to another. Overall I like it. I think on the model, you could lose alot of polys on the underside. Meshflow isn't as important on a low poly model, collapse some of those edges.

dabu

Thanks for the kind words, guys. Im supposed to have this, along with the characters Ive been working on, done for the end of this month so I can start my job hunting.

LtEthe, it is totally supposed to be GI JOE. I even had a GI Joe font on the tail instead of the stencil I went with, but it was almost too cartoony. earlier version here

http://www.dabudesign.com/copter/copter.html

Interesting point about it being too soft, not hawkish enough. Coincidentally, I'm calling it the tiger ray. Though that kinda sounds played out as well....hmmm. Potato Bat? Spinner fish?

Poop, good point about excess pollies on the belly, Guess I can merge some of them. I set my limit at 1500, so I wasn't planning on reducing it much, but I suppose less is more. What do you mean by saturation contrast and color bleeding?

Thanks guys! +)

dabu

rooster

looks cool, I like it! I think the cartoony look really works well. I guess what is meant by saturation contrast is that all your colours are quite saturated. I imagine poop is suggesting adding some muted colours to contrast the vibrant ones as few things irl consist of consistantly saturated colours (except for toys). I think it depends on what look you're going for though, if you feel you've achieved it then thats cool

adam

The helicoptor has a great design to it. Almost like a Sting Ray or something... lov eit.

I think the texture used for the seat could be reworked. Probably just needs to be darker... but with the window covering it it'd be hardly noticed. (IMO.)

Poop's right about the mesh flow on the underside of the model. You can do with a lot less edges and still keep the overall shape of the 'copter.

Good job man!

AfroLeft

Good work on making it instantly recognisable as a GI Joe-esque model..
They usually had a ton of missles and stuff that could come off (and get lost forever). maybe a few underneath? Nice!

Wrath

I'd rather see the texture in a smaller size with less compression artifacting.

dabu

wa la

dabu

Played with the color scheme a bit to make it standout against the other camo vehicles that are going into my portfolio. Which do you guys like better?

Steakhouse

YO JOE!

I think I prefer the blue. Actually if you could mix the blue and the grey together... That would make a nice Splitter style camo.

dabu

ooh good call steak! Still playing with the levels, would like the dark areas in the cammo to be more saturated.

Speve-O

I think what makes it cartoony is the size of the cockpit relative to everything else. Its huge!!

This is great so far. I much prefer this blue/grey hybrid. Play with colour variations on the cockpit canopy, the current purply/orange isnt working as well as some other colours might.

One thing that would add a lot in my opinion is signs of wea and tear. For example, the emissions from the engine exhausts would eat into/discolour the paint extending down the tail, maybe leave some form of residue.

The rotor blades seem a bit flat and bland in comparision to the rest of the texture, maybe add some more intersting surface defintion.

Otherwise, looks good.

Cheers

Steve

dabu

speve, my what good observations you make. Yeah I guess it is the size of the cockpit that takes away from the ferociousness of it. Kinda like beady little threatening eyes vs big cute lovelable ones.

I could tweak this thing forever, so I think I will leave it here for now.

I can't wait till my new site is all assembled and I can show off all the stuff Ive been working on at once.

cheers

JonMurphy

I would tone down the shadows a bit. Especially the one where the fin joins the body on the upside. The texture on the blades is coming off as soft to me, too.

I do like the new colour scheme, though.

DarthRevanII

i could be wrong, but it looks like there is a lot of wasted pollies on the bottom of it

Echelon-IV

ooooo I like that blue version especially that logo on the side

dabu

No, darth, you're right. Poop pointed that out as well. Glad you like the new logo, Ech. Thought I would take it a bit away from the GI JOEishness a bit. Thats from Kyoto, if you want the art, email me and Ill send you a high res file.

cheers

dabu

Steakhouse

It does feel a bit like a reconnisence vehicle rather then a threataning gunship. The whole thing has a very GI-Joe toy line flavor about it, mainly thanks to the mouth on the front.

Asherr

it seems to me that the rotor blades are too short and they probably shouldn't pinch in the middle or atleast not so much.

Steakhouse

They arent pinching. If you take a look at the farthest one you can see they're all the same size in the middle, it's just the perspective. They're actually angled as a real copter's are to help provide lift as they cut through the air.