I think there are 2 main problems right now : Pose and lighting set up
Even if current pose is salvageable you have to redistribute how cloth react with it because right now whole comp create this box silhouette [who knows it could be just picking different angles] There is a lot of black on her that look like a hole few extra rim and fill light could fix that
I think there is proportional issues too as she is on high high heels and she looks short ->box strikes again ,things can appear short base on proportional relations
Yeah the dress is killing the form. Everything black in there the legs get lost. See how the legs and skirt are separated in the concept. Also the bent leg opposed to the straight one in the concept doesn't help readability in this case.
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