Many compliments led me to lose my passion
Hi, I'm about to turn my twenties. I never shared anything personal online but I think I came to a "critical" point in which I need advice.
I've always been an introvert, enjoying my time alone in my room and pretty much been wasting a lot of time playing silly games till 17yo. I would have preferred to be the so stereotyped "Nerd" in the sense of being extremely good at one IT related skill, like coding. But I presume games got my most attention, turning me into an addicted consumer. At that time though, might have been my childish attitude towards life, I never really cared whenever I'd waste time or not.
Once I realized I had to take action to improve my future, I went to an IT school in which I failed several times, leading me to believe that I didn't have the brain to fully commit and understand it. Likewise, teachers would say the same, inviting me to switch subject. And that's what I did.
I knew I somehow wanted to work in the game industry, even as an artist, and that is why I decided to switch to a graphic design school, even if it wasn't really what I was hoping it to be. In my spare time, I then decided to focus all my energy in 3D.
In one year, I've gotten so far to the point of receiving several freelancing jobs. And from that point, the fall began...Many clients and online peers were surprised by my young age and skills, often leading to many compliments that, due to the fact I never received that many, made me feel extremely uncomfortable. I was often comparing myself to the best in the industry and being overly critical of my works so I started to lose motivation and passion for everything. Even gaming started to become a stressing activity and I have found myself to endlessly watch videos in hope to find that golden piece of motivation.
It's nothing about the belief of not being able to make it, instead, I'm fully aware that if I were to put my time, I would be able to succeed in this career, but I constantly think if this was indeed the right choice and if that's what I really want to do. I have no idea how to gain that passion once again, nor force myself to do the work.
Sincerely wish you the best in your journey, I'm aware my "issue" is nothing compared to others, but I wanted to share it as I believe certain people might be in a similar situation. Thank you for reading.
Replies
I've moved your post from General Discussion to Career & Education, where you'll find many similar topics as yours, with lots of good replies containing key advice from experienced industry professionals. Also check the Sticky for more about motivation. There's a lot here.
Have you tried working a full time job at a studio? That might change how you view this.
Good point on the fact that we are predisposed to be lazy. In regards to compliments, I believe they meant it in the way of motivating me to keep pushing forward, my art wasn't and isn't that "amazing" otherwise the outcome would have been considerably different.
In fact, online peers whom I've mentioned weren't really that involved in CG, therefore, I doubt their feedback could even closely be related to people who work in the industry.
I believe the concern was related to the fact that I had to meet other people's expectations and that made me anxious.
On the full-time job, I never thought about it as a way to solve this issue, good point and thank you.
https://www.polygon-academy.com/tips-for-artists-struggling-with-motivation/
Excellent replies in these!
https://polycount.com/search?adv=1&search=&title=Motivation&author=&cat=131&tags=&discussion_d=1&comment_c=1&within=1+day&date=