Returning online, picking up the craft again after more than a year

KaeferTaxi

Hello everyone!

At first thank you dearly for clicking on this, taking the time.

The Title tells a lot, but i guess not everything.
I quitted my hobby of 2D Digital Art around a year ago. i completly deleted everything,
went on a social detox, or better said isolated myself completly. I lost my direction and all of the fun and strength that i gained from my hobby before. There seemed no way of getting back, i lost my real life job twice, currently still unemployed.
I'm doing very bad, socially, emotionally, everything.

Art helped me a bit to vent. Without it i literally just live,
i don't really eat much anymore, i loose more and more motivation each day.
It's very dark and bad. I have a fiance, but he isn't able to help me right now.

I decided to try to draw again,
should be better than rotting away each day.


Do you have any tips or advice for someone like me,
weak and very sensitive, to pick my hobby up again?

What to train?
What to draw?
How to i start again,
all alone, no style, no routine, no everything.

It's a really tricky thing i know,
maybe no one will answer.

I'm still searching for a job, 
trying to keep up a good relationship to get some mental strength and support.

i guess i have a new chance, a new name,
i pretty much can just learn at this point?
without limiting myself to certain things and people like before.

I'm just afraid of quitting again,
since i'm at this bad state, and my life isn't easy right now.

It was always my wish to kind of get in the freelance region of things,
that stopped after a huge argument with my parents, after that my hobby was just ''too expensive, getting me nowhere''
i started to give it up since no one supported me anymore, and myself less and less.

I'm 23 years old, 
a trained floral designer from germany,
currently still living with my parents, which is stressful because of my mental ill mother.


Thank you for your time,
i really wish for some form of a art guidance,
startup tips, picking up the pen and the tablet again.

i haven't really watched any media, music or films,
i pretty much dulled myself down, 
to this state where i don't see a place for me anywhere.

I hope you have a good day,
Thank you.

Brian "Panda" Choi

What you could do is pick up a sketch book, a 2B pencil, and just sketch what you observe in everyday life.  It's not completely mindless, but it'll get you to draw what you observe.  It's a critical skill for most, if not all, 2D artists.
Don't worry about it being good right this second, but just get usued to the habit.  However frequent you decide to do it.  I find myself doing it in places where I have doowntime like waiting on friends to show up to a restaraunt, or during a sermon, etc.

KaeferTaxi

Thank you Brian!
i feel kind of ashamed, i have so many sketchbooks laying around, never was able to pick them up again.
I will try to bring this up daily. I was thinking of real life studys too, it will be hard.
Thank you for this advice!

EarthQuake

The cycle of depression can be brutal. You're depressed so you don't do the things you want to do which makes you more depressed and on and on. This is something a lot of people struggle with.

I would suggest starting small, draw a little bit every day. Take things slow and find small victories, rather than trying to do everything at once. Digging yourself out from the hole is a process. Get out and go for a walk in a park, find some natural beauty and simply try to be in the moment rather than focus on your worries. Watch a movie, listen to music, it's very important to allow yourself to be happy and enjoy things. I know it can feel like you don't deserve to be happy when you're really in the pit of it, but you have to power through that. Doing physical activity of any sort tends to help too, clean the house, go to the gym, ride a bike, etc.

If you have the means, consider going to a psychologist or therapist, and if you don't have the means or can't bring yourself to do it, spend time talking to your fiance about how you feel. The simple act of verbalizing what you're going through can be very helpful both to you and to the people who you're sharing your life with.

PyrZern

I don't know what's your skill level is at; but feel free to jump on some websites for inspirations. Pinterest, Artstation, or just Google up subjects of your interest. It will help you narrow down your interest and appropriate skills if you know what you like. Honestly, at this point, just draw whatever you want to. Cats, comic, cars, people, houses, anything you want. But keep drawing.

sacboi

A challenging situation too say the least so first and foremost the priority here is your health. Not that I'm trying to pry into your personal life but simply just in a sense gauge somewhat the illnesses severity...are you currently recieving any form of treatment? also are there government subsidised health services you're able to access available where you live for people either on some sort of unemployment benefit or jobseekers category or basically without the financial means to support themselves?

Sorry if I'm being intrusive, it's just that reading your post strikes a particular chord in that I was diagnosed if memory serves around 2007 aged 46 as a chronic depressive, apparently lifelong so my doctor had said which finally clarified why I'd inexplicably suffer through intermitted bouts of anxiety and depression since childhood not only affecting those around me but more importantly quality of life in general. Now believe me when I say, seek professional help before thinking of doing anything else, mental health is not to be trifled with ever, regardless of how old one is.

Alex_J

Only thing that ever got me out of depression -- including prescription drugs -- is having goals that I believe in. 

Exercise, sunlight, healthy living in general, prescription drugs, talking with my wife, these kinds of things only temper the intensity of depression, but provided no long term, reliable relief. It wasn't until I started putting long term goals down and working towards them that things got remarkably better. 

So, for me, it's not only about the doing, but the why behind the doing. The key is that I have all the time in the world to pursue my goals. 24/7 my mind is on my goals. Probably, assuming OP has to work a regular job and perhaps has lots of downtime which is the worst thing for depression, this may be harder to do. But I'm sure OP will persist and find their own way. It just takes time and troubleshooting. 

Larry

Hello there !

I'm gonna burst out all my suggestions at once.

In my honest opinion do not force yourself to get a job if you don't want to or your fiance can take care of you. I was once feeling the society pressure to "do something" and get an income, and my dreams were nice, but "not realistic" . Just do what you like. And by that, i mean, first write down the things that you like doing. Going for a walk, listening to music, creating something, cooking, watching series with your fiance etc. Then figure out a hobby or a job that has some of these things and set a goal towards that direction

You can tell yourself that you are going to spend 2 hours per day drawing something, even if you don't know what it is. Just doodle, draw lines, draw black figures and imagine what they could be. Try subtractive drawing. Try drawing fantasy places with gardens like Rivendell since you trained as a floral designer. Use what knowledge you have, everything you have learned, to draw your sketches, your past can say things about you, create your unique style. I aspire to become a 3d artist, and i use all the knowledge i have gained from everything. I was assembling alot of bicycles in my past, and that helps me with drawing mechanical parts,working in a realistic way.

Aside from that,you can try playing games, it's a nice hobby to also make you forget about stuff (speaking for myself here) and also boost your creativity/imagination.Make ALOT of pinterest boards with drawings that you like ! You can also try some hobbies, like knitting/crochet, social dancing like swing- lindy hop.Buy a punching bag and vent your inner screams or try working out/jogging. Buy a 50$ guitar and learn how to play. All of these things helped me and people i know get a boost with their psychology.

Do not call yourself weak, do not use negative words. When you say "i am weak" your eyes read it, your ears hear it, and it has a bigger impact than it actually is. If you want, we can cooperate into stuff.

Actually you know what?You can draw for me small fantasy items / props and i can make them into 3d for you! We can both critique and benefit each other that way, improving and creating a portfolio collection!