WIP - Strength of a Hero [Poppy]

Cryobeat
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Cryobeat null
I've been busy since I first set my sights on this competition in October, but now I finally have mustered some time to write.

Whilst I had several ideas, the one I decided to do is this one. It is a second draft. The changes and improvements from the first draft (not posted because I accidentally saved over it, though it was quite a mess anyway) are the formatting, changes to dialogue, sentence structure, word choice, and of course, plenty of content cut for the sake of the word limit, now sitting at 1000 words exactly.

I hope to continue and post a final, edited, proofread draft later today.

Thanks, and enjoy. Any feedback appreciated.

EDIT: Changed topic title to reflect the new title for the story.

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  • Cryobeat
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    Cryobeat null
    Update: After putting some distance between myself and the story, I've come to realise some of its flaws. With an 1000 word limit, we need to get into the thick of the story far faster. Much of what happens before Poppy shows up can be removed. The trader (protagonist) can have his sinister intent of stealing the hammer far sooner, giving us clearer conflict in the story. That, and some other things like why would this random trader have Rabadon's Deathcap (A legendary item, that there shouldn't be more than one of, really). Some things need ironing out, and some things need to happen faster.

    Time for the third draft!
  • Cryobeat
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    Cryobeat null
    Here I am with the third draft, just needs to have a final proof read before submission. I believe I have until roughly 8am tomorrow (GMT time here) till the deadline truly ends, but I too, need sleep. I will submit this before 12am tonight. 

    Changes from the previous is a lot of the unnecessary stuff is cut out (the mentioning of Garen or Lux at all, even though indirect. Its a neat detail, but unnecessary) and gets to the plot (Poppy!) much quicker. Some changes of words, and change of ending. The perspective character now gains a sinister intent to take the hammer and sell it much earlier on, and gains too much respect for Poppy and her relationship with her weapon to take it off her hands, for even he can see who the Hero is. That's enough explanation from me. Here's the third draft pdf. Not yet final, but almost there. Pen-ultimate, if you will.

    Thanks, off I go to finish it off for submission!
  • Cryobeat
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    Cryobeat null
    Submitted! Here is the final proofread draft. Although, it ended up being ever so slightly more than just a proofread. Again, some words were changed. Some tenses were slipped up. Some sentences rearranged. Fingers crossed it'll go far!
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