[RIOT CREATIVE CONTEST 2017] [Narrative] [WIP] Stellar Black Hole

TypingTaco

Hey, I'm TypingTaco and this is the WIP thread for my entry for the Riot Creative Contest 2017 in the Narrative Section, I'm unsure if I'll make any more than just this single entry. Also, I think I accidentally deleted the original thread where I had posted this so if you think you've seen this before, you probably have,

The story I present here ("Stellar Black Hole") is my take on a meeting between Aurelion and Bard and their dynamic. I make a few assumptions on how their relationship works (namely that they've already met) and tried to make the story mostly gel with the established continuity. My main goal with the story is to highlight the fundamental differences between the two cosmic entities. One is a verbose, self-centered, star dragon and the other is a spirit of few words, the ultimate altruist. I have hundreds of thousands of mastery points with both of these characters and, as someone who greatly enjoys the cosmic side of things, figured this to be the story I wanted to tell.

Partial inspirations and influences in this story (at least, that I am consciously aware of) include Aurelion's own short story ("Twin Dawns") as well as Neil Gaiman's Sandman, Terry Pratchett's Discworld series (with special emphasis on the character of Death as well as Om and the Hogfather) and Galactus from Marvel Comics (another narcissistic and grandiose cosmic entity).

A few things to note:

•  Aurelion is a being who demands attention. He's (perhaps rightfully) self-centered, any narrative about him inevitably becomes centered around him. I chose him as a narrator because it simply feels right. He has one of the most distinct voices and personalities in League's setting and an extremely dynamic and fun one at that. He's a cosmic shaper, now bound to perform menial work instead of his preferred occupation, and who grows ever more disappointed in mortal affairs.
• Bard, in sharp contrast, is a being that doesn't even speak in game, making only the occasional sound. He is beyond mortal understanding and taking a peek at what lies beneath feels fundamentally wrong, a lot of what Bard is is the actual mystery around him. The very idea that he is beyond the ken of any ordinary person, and that the decision he makes are beyond any we could conceive, is what ultimately defines him.
•  I find it interesting that they are, while extremely different, ultimately both loosely benevolent and completely engulfed in their own occupations, as you'd imagine most celestial entities to be. They both understand the other's dedication to something like no mortal would and this understanding, or my take on it rather, is something that I want to tackle in the story.

 Things to improve on:

•  Length is an issue. Especially with a verbose narrator. It is one of my biggest weaknesses as a writer and the word limit is definitely something that I have to work around.
•  I feel like the pacing of the current piece could be improved and that maybe the interpersonal dynamic of the two isn't explored quite as much as I'd want. I attempted to include Runeterra to showcase some of their thoughts about mortals but I may attempt to streamline the narrative a bit to focus on the main conflict.

 

TypingTaco

Time for an update, I guess. I've worked through two different iterations of the story at this point, building from the 1.1 version I attached at the time I posted the thread (the very first iteration was on a thread I thought I deleted but actually still exists, I will probably do something with said thread, maybe for another story since I have a few ideas).

1.2 was mostly about streamlining the narrative a little bit. No more going into Runeterra and no talking about how Bard and Aurelion know each other. This allows for a bit more time to be spent exploring the dynamic Aurelion has with Targon and Bard, which is the main focus of the story.

I iterate even further on that vein in 1.3, where I take a bit more time and resources to try and highlight how Bard is very much driven by his purpose to protect and safeguard creation and how a lot of what he does, down to how he "speaks" is a part of that. Things like Bard always speaking the truth or being defined by his purpose allow for some moments between Aurelion and Bard that were my primary intent with the story coming in.

The length is still very much on the high end (1.3 has exactly 1000 words excluding the title) but, to some extent, the story is an ambitious one and Aurelion is a naturally talkative character (and an especially awesome one to write). I do think these iterations have made the overall narrative a bit more cohesive which was one of my bigger goals as I was trying to improve on 1.1 and my initial drafts.

1.3 is likely going to be extremely similar (or downright identical) to my final submission for this story.

TypingTaco

Wanted to just wrap this up in a more decisive manner. I've submitted the attached file as the final version of this particular story and have another idea that I personally find interesting in the works (have some rough drafts but will be looking to improve on it in the next couple of days). I'm happy with how the end product ended up and I'm hopeful that the story properly translated some of the elements that I was really going for (Aurelion's personality, Bard's devotion, the relationship between them, Aurelion's love for his creations and friction with Targon).

I feel like it's necessary to speak a bit about a specific moment in the narrative where Aurelion is not quite as supremely confident as he usually is. The intent was to emphasize the idea that Aurelion cares about his stars and that being bound to Targon's will, used and treated as if he were a weapon, doesn't only make him angry at Targon. I imagine that a being like Aurelion, who never really had a doubt on how good he was would be at least a little bit affected by his servitude.

Therefore, I felt like it was right to have Aurelion sort of have a more, not literally, "down to earth" where he kind of took a step back and really admitted that his current predicament is one that he is partially responsible for. Pride and vanity have shackled him and he's not only angry at Targon, he's also angry at himself. On that note, I also felt that this was a good moment to show that, while Bard is usually a being that is very much beyond morality and socializing, the two have a sort of a bond. Bard is willing to go out on his way to remind Aurelion of who he really is. Or maybe, part of Bard's purpose was to have Aurelion be there and make him have a moment of introspection. Maybe.

My intention wasn't necessarily to humanize Bard as much as it was to give emphasis to the idea that these are two beings of the same "scale" and that they have an unspoken understanding, even a prideful Aurelion can more or less attest to this. He doesn't necessarily like or care about Bard but can respect his work and understand its significance.

They have an understanding and relationship, the kind that only really comes into being when one of the parts is a star-forging space dragon and the other is a spiritual caretaker of reality itself.