The Virtuoso
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I actually wrote this story way before I knew of this contest, after I read one of Jhin stories and a flash of inspiration hit me. The story is rather weird, as it's more of an exploration of what would make Jhin tick, considering his.. tendencies. I'm not sure I managed to accomplish what I wanted to, and not sure this is the right place for it, but I was quite proud of it then, and would love some feedback.
I'm aware the story is somewhat vague and that was by design. I wanted a piece you have to think about to really understand, but I get that some people won't appreciate that.
Anyway, I hope someone will enjoy reading it as I enjoyed writing it.
I'm aware the story is somewhat vague and that was by design. I wanted a piece you have to think about to really understand, but I get that some people won't appreciate that.
Anyway, I hope someone will enjoy reading it as I enjoyed writing it.
Replies
- You can be consistent with the indents.
- You have a girl, a woman and a lady in your story. Are they all the same person? I guess not. So, if not, I suggest you name at least one of them (preferably the woman) for your readers to understand who’s who. Or 1) make it clear that the girl is a different person than the woman 2) the woman and the lady are the same.
- You started your story with this woman as if we knew who she was. So, I quickly skimmed Jhin’s bio and story hoping to find any information on this mysterious woman, but I couldn’t. It seems like you made her up. Now, I’d really like to learn more about her and her relationship with Jhin. She’s smart and she knows how to play with him. She puts him in a position where he has to fight with himself no matter what. I liked that a lot. Still, regardless your intentions to keep things vague, it'd be good to see a small introduction of her.