[WIP] Critique - Character - "What if Nintendo made a 3rd Person Shooter"

drizs

*EDIT* WIP In-Game Texture

*/EDIT*

Hey,
I would be eternally grateful if you have a moment to give some feedback / critique on my design / model.

"What if Nintendo made a 3rd Person Shooter" is a small prototype I'm working on for fun.

Name: Carrie Tinker
Occupation: Space Salvager

Is the design appealing?
Does the design communicate sci-fi space salvager / space cowboy?
What can I improve on the 3d sculpt?


Concept:

carvuliero

Do you have more back story more then just "space salvager"
If you made some back story for her and answer few questions that will help you communicate her character occupation and so on 
For example :
In what part of the "space" is she living and what special about that place if any
What is she most interested in / what she intend to salvage and why 
How is she going to carry all her bounty 
Does she need tools  or skill to salvage 
What her motivation / is it dangerous / does she really need a gun ?
I can give you some suggestion right away but its better for you to found out who she is first 

Brian "Panda" Choi

Your solution for the eyes don't match the concept.   You have a Japanese oval eye in the concept, and you went western Frozen style in your 3D.

Head proportionally should be larger to match the concept.  your charatcer is 4 heads high wheras the concept is 3 heads high.

In this sort of style, proportions and big reads will matter A LOT to how an asset is made.  I recommend really making sure you have the really big silhouettes down before pushing in any further.

drizs

Brian "Panda" Choi said:

Your solution for the eyes don't match the concept.   You have a Japanese oval eye in the concept, and you went western Frozen style in your 3D.

Thank you for the valuable feedback. I wanted to evolve the concept as I went along and adopt the 3D model (and proportions) to the gameplay. Your comment made me go back and re-question those assumptions so I'm really grateful for that. Here are some alterations, I haven't tried them in-game but I think they made the model read a lot better. The gameplay is a third-person shooter (akin to GOW) so I don't know if the extreme proportions are a necessity or not.

Should I push it more?
Is it better without the cap?
How is the design compared to the backstory?
Is it Nintendo-ish?

carvuliero said:

Do you have more back story more then just "space salvager"

She is part of a band of space outlaws that make a living scavage valuable treasures from the ruins of ancient civilizations. They are competing with the Diggers, a galactic trade federation, that also salvage long lost planets. Carrie Tinker is the mechanic and tinker of the lot. She can make anything function, with McGyver-type ingenuity, which will come in handy as the Diggers are not the most friendly of foes.

I'm welcome for design ideation based on her backstory

Yulia

Hey, nice job! 
A couple of purely technical moments, though.
A character is most commonly seen from threequarters view. So it should look the prettiest from this angle. I'd say she is better without a hat (and closer to the concept). Plus her lips are somewhat stretched forward as if she's pronouncing a German vowel. It is not too appealing and, truly, char's expression should be as neutral as possible. The last bit is required by both modeling and riggers))
Keep it up! 

drizs

Yulia said:

Hey, nice job! 
A couple of purely technical moments, though.
A character is most commonly seen from threequarters view. So it should look the prettiest from this angle. I'd say she is better without a hat (and closer to the concept). Plus her lips are somewhat stretched forward as if she's pronouncing a German vowel. It is not too appealing and, truly, char's expression should be as neutral as possible. The last bit is required by both modeling and riggers))
Keep it up! 

Thank you so much for your feedback!! I agree with you whole-heartedly. As you might know - you grow blind of your own creations after awhile! Here's a 3d mockup, I'm very happy with how it's turning out. I'm going to push the hair a little bit more and maybe re-design the shoes. I will start adding detail soon!

I'm taking the decision to go with the current proportions, the more extreme cartoony proportions in the original concept is a tad too extreme for the game as it stands right now! I might revisit this decision once the puzzle pieces are in place! 

drizs

Here are some initial concept ideation of the driller's guard quad!

Any feedback on the design ?

drizs

Thank you all for your time. Now I'm off to implement this beauty in-engine!

Joao Sapiro

i definately prefer the simpleness of the concept more than the 3d output, it has way much more character and fits nintendo world perfectly  

Brian "Panda" Choi

It's still proportionally off.  I'm arguing you're missing so much of the original read the concept provides.

drizs

Joao Sapiro said:

i definately prefer the simpleness of the concept more than the 3d output, it has way much more character and fits nintendo world perfectly  

Thank you for your feedback. I truly appreciate your honesty! 

Brian "Panda" Choi said:

It's still proportionally off.  I'm arguing you're missing so much of the original read the concept provides.

Your argument is correct! 

JordanN

The world needs more cartoon shooters! 

I'm personally interested seeing this thread progress further.     
Maybe add even more characters/props to be apart of this universe.

MrBFox

Looks great so far. For critiques id ask which 'Nintendo Look' in particular (or combination of) are you aiming for? Even within each of their franchises there can be major differences between the art direction of the games. The 2D concept reads as a mix of Windwaker and Mario while the 3D implementation leans more towards recent 3D Zelda games (with a dash of western design as Choi mentioned). 
Does she use or wear any of the gadgets she 'Maguyvers'? it would help sell the idea of her being  a  mechanic/tinkerer.

drizs

JordanN said:

The world needs more cartoon shooters! 

I'm personally interested seeing this thread progress further.     
Maybe add even more characters/props to be apart of this universe.

Thank you!

MrBFox said:

Looks great so far. For critiques id ask which 'Nintendo Look' in particular (or combination of) are you aiming for? Even within each of their franchises there can be major differences between the art direction of the games. The 2D concept reads as a mix of Windwaker and Mario while the 3D implementation leans more towards recent 3D Zelda games (with a dash of western design as Choi mentioned). 
Does she use or wear any of the gadgets she 'Maguyvers'? it would help sell the idea of her being  a  mechanic/tinkerer.

Yeah, I don't want to necessarily copy Nintendo, but use their design principles with my own style of things. Thank you for the inspiration!

Here's an in-game WIP for the first pass of textures and shaders.