[WIP] Pruning the Tree (Akali backstory) AN UNHOLY MESS! XD
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NOTE: THIS WORK IS IN DIRE NEED OF A MAJOR REVAMP THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAPPEN!
A well was all that remained intact of one village destroyed during the Noxian invasion, and a most befitting setting for Akali to reflect upon her own dark past.
The intent is a more subtle, emotional take on a less explored character's backstory.
In this, Akali. To write a story about her I of course first sought to draw upon her core character traits, but then came to realize there were none, which my lovely first and only proofreader a few updates back also pointed out. She really is kind of a blank slate, you know?
However, after much deliberation, I decided to roll with it, and actually basing her character on this perceived hollowness -- derived against her will in her childhood by the actions of a manipulative mother figure.
Her ability and willingness to take on the great task of turning back on her old self would ultimately define her.
Updated: again for some more coherency and less filler words.
Updated: with a huge change to the middle part. (there's actually a climax now, oops!) I honestly didn't think I would be have enough word space to add this vital scene, so I honestly didn't even bother trying previously...but lo, and behold! Now at precisely 1k words.
Updated: for more clarity, more personality in the dialogue, and a better job wrapping up at the end. Woohoo!
Updated: for a little added depth, conceptualization of young Akali's mental state.
Updated: with more on the years between the first scene and the battle. Kusho is travelling alone now!
Updated: with an even better wrap-up at the end, some major cleanup, greater highlighting of Akali's resolve.
Updated: revamped entirely to give more personality to Akali AND Yue, and to remove a certain awkward, admittedly forced plot string.
Updated: Some line changes. Likely several more on the way.
Updated: Some structural / line edits.
Updated: Added some more 'flowery' turn of phrases. Attempted to make certain dialogues sound less robotic. Minor edits to the text flow. Added a brief explanation of what the 'Shadow Fist' actually is.
Updated: Better ending line! Some precious wording / phrasing changes.
Updated: HUGE restructuring! Young Akali just kills a rabbit instead, but it's more natural and gets the point across just as well this way...~ Also, more of those invaluable teeny tiny minor edits.
Updated: Fixed the overall flow. Reworded some parts. Added some new sentences. It's become significantly darker now than it was in previous incarnations, with it being more of a question of Akali's basic morality or lack thereof than an attempt at a sympathetic backstory. Granted, there's still a cause for sympathy, but how much can be ultimately spared for a cold-blooded killer regardless of whether she became one by choice?
Updated: Gave it an ending! Also, put a more interesting line in The Warrior's mouth that better ties with the work's core question.
Updated: Added a new angle to Yue's deception, based around implanted fears.
Updated: Someone else makes a cameo now! Rather than keeping that rather boring, ill-explained middle part that was there before.
I think that about does it! Now, I would love to expand on this in the future as it might just be fundamentally lacking what with the 1k word limit (I wanted a Zed v. Akali fight scene damn it) but nonetheless I'm pleased enough with how it's developed to submit it in its current state. Barring any unforeseen criticisms that catch things that would have otherwise gone unnoticed, I'll go ahead and label this edition final.
~ three updates later
Cut some distracting parts from it, and added some to retain focus on Akali more than anything else.
A well was all that remained intact of one village destroyed during the Noxian invasion, and a most befitting setting for Akali to reflect upon her own dark past.
The intent is a more subtle, emotional take on a less explored character's backstory.
In this, Akali. To write a story about her I of course first sought to draw upon her core character traits, but then came to realize there were none, which my lovely first and only proofreader a few updates back also pointed out. She really is kind of a blank slate, you know?
However, after much deliberation, I decided to roll with it, and actually basing her character on this perceived hollowness -- derived against her will in her childhood by the actions of a manipulative mother figure.
Her ability and willingness to take on the great task of turning back on her old self would ultimately define her.
Updated: again for some more coherency and less filler words.
Updated: with a huge change to the middle part. (there's actually a climax now, oops!) I honestly didn't think I would be have enough word space to add this vital scene, so I honestly didn't even bother trying previously...but lo, and behold! Now at precisely 1k words.
Updated: for more clarity, more personality in the dialogue, and a better job wrapping up at the end. Woohoo!
Updated: for a little added depth, conceptualization of young Akali's mental state.
Updated: with more on the years between the first scene and the battle. Kusho is travelling alone now!
Updated: with an even better wrap-up at the end, some major cleanup, greater highlighting of Akali's resolve.
Updated: revamped entirely to give more personality to Akali AND Yue, and to remove a certain awkward, admittedly forced plot string.
Updated: Some line changes. Likely several more on the way.
Updated: Some structural / line edits.
Updated: Added some more 'flowery' turn of phrases. Attempted to make certain dialogues sound less robotic. Minor edits to the text flow. Added a brief explanation of what the 'Shadow Fist' actually is.
Updated: Better ending line! Some precious wording / phrasing changes.
Updated: HUGE restructuring! Young Akali just kills a rabbit instead, but it's more natural and gets the point across just as well this way...~ Also, more of those invaluable teeny tiny minor edits.
Updated: Fixed the overall flow. Reworded some parts. Added some new sentences. It's become significantly darker now than it was in previous incarnations, with it being more of a question of Akali's basic morality or lack thereof than an attempt at a sympathetic backstory. Granted, there's still a cause for sympathy, but how much can be ultimately spared for a cold-blooded killer regardless of whether she became one by choice?
Updated: Gave it an ending! Also, put a more interesting line in The Warrior's mouth that better ties with the work's core question.
Updated: Added a new angle to Yue's deception, based around implanted fears.
Updated: Someone else makes a cameo now! Rather than keeping that rather boring, ill-explained middle part that was there before.
I think that about does it! Now, I would love to expand on this in the future as it might just be fundamentally lacking what with the 1k word limit (I wanted a Zed v. Akali fight scene damn it) but nonetheless I'm pleased enough with how it's developed to submit it in its current state. Barring any unforeseen criticisms that catch things that would have otherwise gone unnoticed, I'll go ahead and label this edition final.
~ three updates later
Cut some distracting parts from it, and added some to retain focus on Akali more than anything else.