[COMPLETE] Beautiful Flower

BigSisNatien

Note: For some reason, my account reposted a topic twice, so I'm editing both threads and using them for a different story I wasn't planning to write. Sorry for the spam. 

A WIP thread for a story about Jhin! 

BigSisNatien

Here's the first draft of "Beautiful Flower"! It wasn't my first when I initially wrote it, but it's the first completed draft. 

At the beginning, I had the murder plainly written out. However, I felt that not only was it too violent; it didn't reflect what I wanted. I want the story to be seen through Jhin's warped personality. He sees death as beauty, and not for what it really is. So I ended up scratching everything I had written at the beginning and wrote the story to be what Jhin would see.. A masterpiece, and not a torturous death. 

It is one hundred and ninety five (195) above the word count, but I'm really conflicted on what I should cut out because I feel like a lot of my imagery is crutial to the story. Maybe as time goes by I'll figure out what I can cut out, what I can fix, etc. 

Note that I'm still unsure if this is too violent or not-- I was extremely nervous to post this because of that uncertainty! 

BigSisNatien

While I'm still nervous about the whole violence thing, here's the second version of Beautiful Flower. It's exactly 1,000 words. I changed a couple of my sentences, played around with the whole premise of the "nonexistent audience," and I cut out repeating words. I am relieved that I was able to find out what to cut out before the entry deadline. 

As always, comments and critiques are welcome!