The Last Piece of Her Heart

Lewen

Hi all,

This is my first entry for the Riot Creative Contest. This piece will focus on Katarina. Years ago, when I first started playing League of Legends, she quickly became one of my favorite champion and I wanted to  write a little something that reminded me of the hours I spent digging into the lore at that time.

As I am also deep into Nanowrimo this month, I don't know when I'll be able to post a first draft, but I hope it will be soon.

Lewen

Hey there!
November is over and along with it, the nanowrimo challenge. Which means that I was finally able to finish a first complete draft for this short story.
I still need to do some proof reading and rewriting but it feels like an ok enough first draft to post it here.

karefs

- Question: I wonder if you have a reason not to give the names of the characters up front, or at all actually.

- If you use quotation marks, your dialogues will be more understandable. 

- I liked the way how you pictured their relationship, it's in their actions and dialogues.

- I also liked Katarina's dilemma at the beginning, but you could work on her dilemma throughout your story in order to have a conflict and resolution.

Lewen

Hi karefs, thanks a lot for your feedback.

I agree with you about the dilemma and the resolution, I was already planning to rework the second half of the story with that in mind, but I wanted to post a first WIP here before I went into all the rewriting and editing process.

Regarding the names of the characters, I felt it was unnecessary to give them upfront. For Katarina since the piece is centered around her, her presence is expected. For Garen, I wanted readers to discover him as they go through the story, rather than say it upfront. If it doesn't work, well, I am sure I will hear about it from the people giving me feedback!

karefs

I really liked how you used the name Crownguard to introduce Garen. And it works well as it is. I just like to have an image of the characters while I'm reading

Lewen

The second draft is finally finished. I revised some parts of the story, corrected spelling mistakes and tried to improve the style. This piece should be close to the final version but I still want to go back and maybe improve a thing here and there.

Lewen

Just finished the last draft for this story. I did some proofreading and minor edits here and there. Still posting it as a WIP since I want to put this piece aside, let it rest and come back to it with fresh eyes in a few days!

Lewen

Time to post the final version for this story!