Welcome to a work in progress thread for a narrative following the steps of two well-known Demacians: Garen and Lux Crownguard. If it was not painfully obvious, I am new to the art of polycount, so I hope I'm not going overboard.
A Bit About Me
I am an avid League of Legends player, but I've always been in love with the lore that goes beyond the game play. I have spent hours reading into each and every champions' histories (probably as much time as I've spent playing the game itself, if I am honest).
My favorite champion is by far Garen- the Might of Demacia. I do not know what it was about him that drew me in, but I cannot pretend that that giant, handsome knight does not hold a place in my heart. He was my first main, and is one of the few champions I have every single skin for. When I read the short stories including him- The Soldier and the Hag and For Demacia - I fell in love with him even more. He seems to have a deep passion for his homeland, but even more so than that, he shares a bond with his sibling that may or may not be relatable for our fellow mages out there.
A Bit About the Piece
The narrative that I plan to work on will follow Garen, though our favorite blonde mage will make an appearance as well. Despite my love for Garen, and my vast knowledge of lore, I plan to spend much of my time digging for every piece of information I can get on Garen. I do not want to make a piece that tells you, "Garen is a big knight that really, really loves Demacia." You did not come here to read that. You came here to read a story that brings life onto your screen and makes you crave more.
I want to dive into his world and bring forth a heart-wrenching piece that will be confined to a thousand words. Whether or not I accomplish this goal will ultimately be up to our great host, Riot, but nevertheless I hope that my work will be enjoyed by all once it is finished and entered.
[Complete] The Choice
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Additional Notes
Please do not be afraid to offer constructive criticism, ask questions, or share your opinions on the piece. While I am joining the contest in hopes of winning, there are many ways I can "win"; one of them is becoming a better writer. If you decide to help me win in that department, I am more than happy to take anything you have to offer.
Draft 1 Notes
[11/10]
I read through my first draft. Honestly I'm proud of the work, but there are some key points that I hope to fix in the next draft:
- Does Garen react properly to Lux's show of magic? Would he be as angry as I portrayed him to be, or would he be more fearful than angry?
- Overall, does this story have a good amount of description and dialogue, or is too much of it excess that can easily be cut out to make this a quality shorter read?
- Is the fact that the soldiers going to ambush are novices (new to combat)?
- Is it obvious that the Noxians get back up support, which is why the Demacians lose?
- Is Garen's "joke" to the page boy funny and necessary to the storyline?
Replies
It is three hundred and thirteen (313) words over the thousand word count. Much of this is due to how much time I spent focusing on the surroundings and not on the actual story itself. Future drafts will be crafted to fit the proper word count.
This one is one hundred and sixteen (116) words over the word count. Certainly slimmed it down by a lot, but it still needs some deletion.
I'm not sure if I'm going to keep this as my final draft, or if I want to play around with word choices again, but here's the third draft. I hit the max limit (1,000 words) and I believe that I'd done it in a pretty nice fashion. I got extremely stoked seeing all of my own changes from the first draft to this one.
Critique and comments are always welcome!