11 second club September looking for feedback on clarity

Jmcmil20

I'm trying a new approach on this and I was hoping it was reading clearly and I was hoping to be  on the right track...it's really early but yea..any feedback is welcome as always 
https://syncsketch.com/playground/a2b62e8e26e0421f808efb9b8348d9e7#229997

Jmcmil20

Soooo I think I made some improvements....I think lol .

https://syncsketch.com/sketch/181199#232303

tiagosol

Hi Jmcmil20, I like the idea of them resting on a tree. I was feeling you need a close up on them after the first establishing shot. Another idea to make more fun the animation could be the tiger playing more with his paws while listening the boy. I guess they need more of a secondary action so we can relate more to the characters and look more alive.

Jmcmil20

Hey tiagosol, I did another update since this one that I forgot to post up.  I did pull things in closer and I was making an attempt at breathing in the beginning for the tiger, nothing too big really because I wanted him to sleep...or rather be resting.  Do you think I could maybe I could do something with the tail to get that secondary action without compromising too much of what I have?

https://syncsketch.com/sketch/181199#232915

tiagosol

hey jmcmil20,
that could be a good idea to move his tail. check out some cat references when they are resting. they still move their tails and ears.
besides that i think the poses need to be stronger on both characters, they stay most of the time in the same pose, so has to be very appealing and charismatic. watch out those intersections. i put couple of comments on syncsketch

Jmcmil20

thanks alot! I really appreciate the advice and feedback. I think I made some major changes that I'll post soon but I'll try to get those in there as well. Thanks again for the eyes!