There is kind of a rant with the drawings of this post so here is the tl;dr version : I never finish my drawings and I really want to complete this one, I think it is the right place to show it and make it better.
So here I am with a sketch that I drew during last night Overwatch Contenders (Rogue was quite good I must admit) and it is kind of special to me. For a bit of context I will say that I am not in a really good place right now. I had to drop out of my art school for a couple of reasons (mostly money) and I am completly unable to kick my a** hard enough to get myself to draw/sculpt/design anything. I am procrastinating pretty hard right now even though I have to find a job by the end of the month or else I'm basically homeless. So I am in a pretty bad situation and I don't find any good solutions to fight procrastination and distractions (video games, books, house chores and so on).
Nonetheless, without any reason, I sat yesterday and started to improvise a drawing like I always do. I started with a scribble and then worked on it and ended with this meditating man that I like a lot (kind of remind me of Zenyatta in a way). But I slowly arrived to the moment where I give up because I feel I can't get any further. It drives me insane because I clearly see that I am getting something nice but my mind is far from giving me praise and tells me everything that is wrong. So I started to fight with myself and to work a bit further, I tried to add details and such but my mind won like always (even now my brain is telling me my english sucks while I'm writing this and tries to deceive me from posting it).
This pattern happens everytime I try to create something, my most advance art pieces are nothing more than doodles I did with pencil and a black Posca marker during my time in college. It is really frustrating for me as I have a ton of ideas in my head like a flubber with a tiny hat falling in love with the moon or a world where dinosaurs are living among us but everything else is pretty much the same, I want to remake the kitchen scene from Les Tontons Flingueurs but with animation. Every time it's one of two scenarios, I'm starting it but it will remain as sketches in a notebook or I don't even do anything because of procrastination.
I am getting very upset by this so much so it is keeping me up at night. I want to do animation, I want to produce films, I want to draw, I want to create things worth showing to my family and friends. For this to happen I need to put an end to this state of mind I have right now. Showing to you all this sketch may be a step toward this goal. For me, finishing this calm man means getting back on track, getting my s*** together and getting closer to my goals.
If you have read all of this, thank you so much for putting up with me, I hope I did not take to much of your time blabbering like this about myself. If you can help me, feel free to tell me what is wrong with my drawing, I'll try to update this this thread as much as possible with the feedback you will give me.
Here is the sketch, it goes in 4 steps, the first scribble, a more refined version, a first attempt of cleaning lines and and a refining of the pose and face.
This is where my mind goes on a rampage of negative thoughts. I don't find the correct pose for the arms and I can't focus on anything else until I find the solution. Also the face seems a bit off and I am pretty sure those are not the only problems here.
Here you have it all.
I can't wait to read your feedbacks. Have a good night (it is almost 3 AM here in France).
PS : since it is the first time I create a thread I am completly frightened by the idea of overstepping the forum's rules or even common decency, so if there is anything wrong about the post I will edit it.