Final Demo Reel Piece - Traversal

13randO

Hey guys, sorry I haven't been posting for some time. For the past while I was doing iAnimate and working on trying to become better and hopefully getting a junior position somewhere locally. I created this piece for a local contest and unfortunately, it didn't make it into finals. I'm pretty heartbroken about it right now, but after I get over the disappointment, I'm going to clean up my reel and try applying to other places. What can I do to make this piece "final demo reel shot" ready? Anything is appreciated and thanks for reading. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apTviDMbbm0

CallumJB

I'd recommend uploading it to https://syncsketch.com/ if you want some of the veterans on here to give you some better feedback. The jump past the lasers at 0:01 needs more of a build up for the size of the jump she delivers.

As it is though at the moment, I do believe you've made a good animation. I particular love the roll she does.

AnthonyAnimation

I'm currently on my phone so I can only give general feedback, but as Callum said, if you load it to syncsketch it'll be easier for more in-depth critique.

The things that immediately stick out to me are some poses and actions can be much more dynamic. Right after she vaults the wall she feels stiff. Also after she makes the large leap down to the button, because the camera is moving with her body she seems static.

I know it will involve reworking part of the animation, but the struggle noises don't match her movement. It sounds like she is exerting more effort than she is giving. Perhaps have some debris on her that she kicks off or push an object out of the way.

The hand gesture where she points at the button is nice, but the silhouette could be a little more clear. Overall you have a solid piece, just needs a little more love!

13randO

Thanks for the initial feedback, guys! It means a lot. I just uploaded it to Syncsketch.  https://syncsketch.com/sketch/141457#164501

AnthonyAnimation

Left some notes to start with, hope it helps!

CallumJB

Ignore this, it was a double post

tholmes3d

This is a great start. Keep pushing those poses and this will keep getting better and better!
I've added some comments and wanted to put a link to reference but it doesn't let you click the links in sync sketch so I'll pose it here:
Back curve: http://ucare.ride.ru/aca526b2-70cd-4f83-b555-5c335c6af336/-/flip/-/flip/-/quality/better/-/sharp/3/-/format/jpeg/-/progressive/yes/-/quality/best/-/resize/650x/

Can't wait to see the revisions.

KyleG

Your camera is currently a bit distracting - especially around the first vault - it comes to an almost complete stop then instantly speeds up. I would try and simplify the cameras' motion so the viewer can fully focus on your animation

13randO

Damn guys, thanks so much for the pointers. I'm going to be implementing them just as soon as I finish up another piece for my reel. Again, much appreciated. ^_^

Blond

Amazing piece. Lots of personality! 2 things:

Your cameris is distracting, moves too much and doesnt put emphasis on character's silouhtte.

second thing; try to change mery's cloth for a more sporty outwear. It adds to the context overall